If you were a shapeshifter...

Contribute to SCIENCE! for a lot of money.

No vivisection, though. The moment they'd try, I'd turn into a tank and rampage.

edited 13th May '11 1:16:59 PM by pagad

With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.

But that's a lady's comb jellyfish, they just eat plankton.

Might as well be a baleen whale and get to sing some songs.

Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.

Well, plankton counts as fish (well, little shrimps and fish spawn and the like, but a ctenophore*

does not know the difference).

But in any case, some of them can grow pretty big, and they do eat fish if Wikipedia is to be believed.

edited 13th May '11 1:51:09 PM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

@Hungry Joe on the last page

... yes. Yes I would.

Get hired by the CIA or FBI or something. Seriously, shapeshifting, I'd be the best undercover agent ever.

"Teebs is a total grump, but he's usually right." - NLK

How...how would that work?

Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.

In ways that would break your little mind.

So, you would get phenomenal cosmic powers... and use them to become some sort of superspy?

I mean, with unlimited shapeshifting (no law of conservation of mass, no nothing) there would nothing preventing you from becoming a one man space elevator, if you felt like doing that.

Or, for that matter, a Real Life copy of the last Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann mecha.*

edited 13th May '11 2:27:27 PM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

Really, what wouldn't I do with this?

...Oh yeah. That.

yes, the one with only three letters

"Only now, after being besieged by a flock of talking ponies, did he really understand what he'd lost. "

Look like Elvis (at the age he'd be now) and get my picture taken.

Mostly, I would use it to blend into the background so I can watch people. Mainly I'd be watching ordinary social situations, the sorts my social anxiety has driven me to spend my life avoiding. It would essentially be an exercise in anthropology, an attempt to understand social interaction through observation. There are other things I'd watch for entertainment, like various women, and various varieties of criminal. I suppose I might also play pranks or do various other sorts of things to people if the whim strikes me.

Sex, world peace, sex, manipulative evil, sex, probably in that order.

"My brain used to be a little bitch, so I mugged it's ass." -kegisak

@Carcio: Something of that size would only be able to move very, very slowly. Like, just barely able to budge.

World peace AND manipulative evil? Oh you fiend.

edited 6th Jun '11 2:09:42 AM by Heartbreaker

Leave your dignity at the door.

Has anyone said "fight crime" yet?

"I can't imagine what Hell will have in store, but I know when I'm there, I won't wander anymore."

Yep, Teebert.

Actually, I think being a job in counter-insurgency might be pretty damn fun.

edited 6th Jun '11 2:11:55 AM by Heartbreaker

Leave your dignity at the door.

I have thought about this more. I may spend some time as a woman with a four-foot tongue and hang around in a certain kind of bar.

'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'

recreate John Carpenter's The Thing in a highly populated area which is also a tourist hotspot with a different ending

edited 6th Jan '12 3:13:23 PM by olajdzija

I'd disguise myself as one of the mysterious thread necromancers.

UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI

Simple - morph into female celebs that people want to see naked, take photos, and sell em to tabloids. Make a boatload of cash off it.

Fight crime, duh.

Become a dragon. I could wire a system to allow me to breathe fire and fly, given enough time to think.

Oh, and biological immortality of course. (Yes, shapeshifting would allow this. As well as regeneration.)

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-

Ooh, yeah. Immortality would be cool.

Being able to turn into an invisible gaseous cloud would be fucking rad. Think of all the places I could go!

The sin of silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.

Probably become a super thief. Steal money in a highly improbable way, then steal whatever it is that I could think of. Including sneaking in in the middle of the night and rearranging the contents of a best buy.

Also, incredibly weird sex.

Very big Daydream Believer. "That's not knowledge, that's a crapshoot!" -Al Murray "Welcome to QI" -Stephen Fry

Milos, that would be awesome. You could be the world's greatest cat burglar.

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-