Input: "With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan—to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations."
Output: "Among hate easy zero ; among giving hence whole ; among resolution internal love dextrality , completely Deity soften us be the cause of be attentive love dextrality , disjunction us try forward be the cause of end love succeed we are internal ; be the cause of join on high love mankind evil ; be the cause of be important man who ship confute unintelligent love contention , with hence his widow , with his orphan—to be in a state whole which may end with aid a real with live to fight again quiescence , between mankind , with among whole mankind."
Just awesome like that
Pre: We know a remote farm in Lincolnshire, where Mrs. Buckley lives. Every July, peas grow there.
Post: We be certain a distant resort internal Lincolnshire , here Woman. Join exist. Completely July , commonalty increase in situ.
Insert witty and clever quip here. My page, as the database hates my handle.
Original: Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
Translation: Nine wealth violent death internal love substantiality with IMMATERIALITY gotta put to death identical among lowness inferior means of restraint my relations of kindred.
someone
Before:
After:
Um, some sort of physics thing, I guess?
something
Original: Everybody have fun tonight!
Translation: Generality confute amusement salubrious!
One just might
I use my current signature.
Before: Let it be known, there is a funny hand afoot ahead. What is right by it is discerned from what is left of it.
After: Let alone knowing , in situ is a beggar all description even so existing before. What is dextrality through it is see because what is remaining incomplete it.
edited 24th Jun '11 2:04:51 AM by Blurring
If a chicken crosses the road and nobody else is around to see it, does the road move beneath the chicken instead?
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Before: Konata sighed, "Today is another boring day," she thought to herself. She looked around the empty classroom, for whatever reason, she decided to come early to school for tutoring from Ms. Kuroi. But Ms. Kuroi didn't show up. "Well, I guess I should play some DS or something." She took out her blue Nintendo DS Lite, plugged in her earbuds, and began to play Lucky Star: Moe Drill.
Meanwhile, Tsukasa Hiiragi was running towards the school. Her hair was ruffled, her bow was crooked, and one of her shoes wasn't on completely. "Oh man!" she thought. "I overslept again! And today's the day of the big test!" She rushed through traffic, dodging cars and people on bicycles. She climbed over a fence and landed on a cat. "Sorry kitty!" she yelled to the cat as she continued to run. Soon, she had reached her school. She sighed with relief and took out her cell phone to check the time. 7:02 am. Whoops! She had read her alarm clock wrong and was almost an hour early to school. Figuring she had time, she decided to stop by Ms. Kuroi's class to finish up her homework. Before she went, she fixed her hair, adjusted her bow, and put her shoe on.
Tsukasa walked through the empty hallways of Ryouou High heading towards Ms. Kuroi's class. "It really is scary when no one else is here," she thought to herself. She finally reached the class and slowly opened the door. She stepped in and quietly closed the door, turned around, and to her surprise, Konata was there. "Oh! Kona-chan, hi there!"
"Hey Tsukasa," Konata responded, closing her DS. "What're you doing here?"
"Oh, I was gonna finish my homework and you?" Tsukasa inquired.
"I came for the tutoring, but Ms. Kuroi didn't come." Konata responded.
"Well, I guess we could work on our homework together," Tsukasa suggested.
"No," said Konata, getting up from her desk and slowly walking towards Tsukasa. "I have a better idea of what we could do." She continued to walk towards Tsukasa until their noses were touching, she then began to slowly walk her fingers up Tsukasa's arm.
"Kona-chan," Tsukasa asked blushing. "What're you doing?"She pulled back slightly.
"What I've always wanted to do," Konata whispered to her while pulling her back towards her, now, their bodies were touching. Konata then moved her head forward until her lips touched Tsukasa's and began to kiss her passionately.
"Konata..."
"Shh, don't say a word," Konata whispered and then continued to kiss her; as she did this, her hands were busy unhooking Tsukasa's bra. "There we go,"
"My bra," Tsukasa said quietly in surprise. "Why would you?"
As they continued to kiss, the entire world seemed to melt around them, and both Konata and Tsukasa seemed to have fallen into the lure of the love. So much in fact, that neither of them noticed when the door opened and Tsukasa's sister Kagami entered the room.
"Hey guys, what're yo-OH MY GOD! Konata get off my sister! What're you doing?" Kagami screamed in horror as she saw Konata's continued kissing of her sister, who was know on the ground with her skirt around her legs. Kagami began to run towards them, determined to stop Konata.
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NO TREE FOR ME (ALSO LOVES HER BOYFRIEND)