On Being Offended

As you might have noticed, we've got a few atheism / theism threads going around. One of the more fascinating notions going around is the notion of offense. This notion is difficult to deconstruct - the concept of what is offensive and what isn't is core the the real reasons humans argue (social status, etc). I'd like to try and get a feeling for what people think of as 'offensive', how they react to perceived offense, and when, if ever, is it a good idea to offend someone knowingly.

To me, offense is a question of intent and context. I rarely get offended because I don't like offending others.

If you are sadistic/enjoy seeing people annoyed or offended then you'll be ok with offending them.

I personally am hard to offend, just laugh it off (this also sometimes has the bonus of them getting annoyed) but everyone has their own threshold.

I am offended you ask such a question!

Anyway, I don't get so much offended as simply annoyed when someone makes a... not so well researched comment. Beyond that, I'm heard a lot of view points and you're going to be having a hard time offending me aside from flat out insulting me, in which case, well, why am I talking to you in the first place?

It takes a fair bit to actually make me angry during a discussion. I tend to more get depressed if things aren't going my way, turning the bitterness inward.

I'm sure that offense is extremely sensitive to context, among other things. But...how is it sensitive? What, specifically, makes a comment offensive?

I'll note that almost no one will ever actually describe themselves as easy to offend.

I used to have a rather low threshold, which I think I picked up from my mother. I've tried to up it, and I might be succeeding.

I tend to be offended by misconceptions about certain traits I have (like autism-spectrum disorders or non-heterosexual sexual orientations) and the perpetuation of them, along with bigotry. I try not to offend others willingly.

I'm pretty easy to offend, though I think I've gotten better about that. Things that used to actually make me lose my temper now usually just mildly irritate me.

As I said in the Aggressive Atheism thread, I don't think offence really belongs in a rational debate, but it's potentially quite a strong emotional response that may be difficult to reign in, in which case it's usually better to say nothing at all than to participate.

I don't think that people should avoid expressing opinions out of fear of causing offence, but I think deliberately causing offence is kind of a dick move. To my mind, that's the difference between being blunt and being basically a troll.

Speaking of which, I just discovered that this page still exists. (NSFW, graphic violent imagery.)

I think the main thing is when it becomes personal. There's having an opponent in a debate and then there's having someone who stands for a position that holds that a part of your lifestyle is "wrong/evil/stupid/etc", thus why I said I only get offended when insults are involved because insults are personal and thus why flame bait topics get locked, they usually open with a flat out insult or make the statement that "Touchy subject X" is evil.

I suppose the biggest problem really is when you have people who take offence at honest opinions, or people whose honest opinions are pretty outrageous in themselves (two sides of the same coin, really).

I think a better word than outrageous would be "absolute". People have a tendency to apply a lot of absolutes to morality despite the fact that that never really happens.

For example, a bunch of people can discuss capitalism and being saying "I think it's good and here's why" and "I think it's bad and here's why", but as soon as someone comes and says "I think it's    evil!   " then stuff goes down the gutter because evil is an absolute and even if that person doesn't offend anyone else, that person will largely detract from the discussion but forcing the idea that capitalism is evil.

Though I often laugh things off, try to remain civil, and so on I am easy to offend I think. Feeling offended is that nasty feeling that bubbles up in my chest at times. One that is accompanied by thoughts like "You're a fucking asshole". That feeling arises often enough. How I deal with the feeling and how I act is far more important though.

As for things that offend me...There are many. Most of the big ones are related to sexuality, gender identity, and religion. Declaring Buddhism to be depressing, silly, or stupid tends to offend me as an example. It does however depend on how you word your thoughts on the subject. I have talked with people who felt that Buddhism seems depressing and not felt offended once due to how things were worded. This is also likely related to my relationships with and perceptions of the people I am speaking to.

The word "Evil" in anything besides a tabletop RPG context is one.

Also, willful ignorance.

Other than that, I don't get offended much. When people insult me, I laugh*

Someone may point out that I used the word "evil" in a thread title. FYI, it was a troll thread of sorts designed to gauge a reaction.

edited 23rd Apr '11 4:51:46 PM by Diamonnes

It takes a combination of it being (or feeling) personal coupled with an instinctive shifting of my opinion of that person. Case in point; Lady Gaga's meatdress was... odd, but not offensive. Psycho-bitch fan kills her cat as part of her own meat dress response... I am offended.

I think I'm actually pretty easy to offend; this is something I should probably try to work on.

Oddly, I think I tend to get offended by more "minor" things than "major" things. I can read Stormfront and see people be outright hateful towards people like me, and it doesn't bother me. But if I see someone say all adult My Little Pony fans are retarded manchildren? I go into rage mode.

I'm sure there's a reason why, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Perhaps you take MLP more seriously than you take yourself?

And yeah, The first thing I thought of was Dramatica upon seeing this thread.

edited 23rd Apr '11 6:06:18 PM by mailedbypostman

I'm easily offended and I think it's important to point out bigotry and hatred where it exists (protip: not ED), but I cherish the right of others to say things which may upset me, and I can't relate to people who view offensiveness as an undesirable quality in and of itself.

edited 23rd Apr '11 6:10:16 PM by Penguin4Senate

^^I try not to let Fan Haters bother me. If anything I just wonder if they actually mean it.

Well, it's not just MLP. Other things, too, like negative stereotypes of people on the autism spectrum and stuff.

Actually, I think that's it: I'm more likely to be offended when there's a larger chance that more people (or at least, more people who matter) will buy into the negative stereotype.

Oh god, I hate that feeling.

(For some reason ONN's autistic reporter Michael Falk comes to mind; by all reason I should find him very offensive, but he amuses me)

edited 23rd Apr '11 6:13:28 PM by AnonymousUser

never mind

edited 23rd Apr '11 9:11:08 PM by AnonymousUser

"But if I see someone say all adult My Little Pony fans are retarded manchildren? I go into rage mode."

MLP is Serious Business.

That said, I've always felt that being offended is usually a sign of weakness, if not one of the greatest signs of weakness.

That mentality probably factored into my whole sociopath thing.

edited 24th Apr '11 12:42:03 AM by TheMightyAnonym

All adult fans of My Little Pony are retarded manchildren.

Who smell.

And live in their mothers basement.

edited 24th Apr '11 1:41:22 AM by GameChainsaw

I find it's easy to not be offended as long as you can detach yourself from the subject in question.

If some sone say suggested cannibalism as a solution to overpopulation and world hunger I'll laugh my ass off.

I some one said I chosen an unflattering coloured shirt I would start rocking quietly and cry myself to sleep.

edited 24th Apr '11 2:41:57 AM by joeyjojo

When is it okay to be offended, if ever?