The office: Chatter about your job

Had to brave the grocery store last night. It was a madhouse. Made some worker monkey very happy by collecting a bunch of empty shopping carts and putting them back in the collector thingie. I swear, that poor girl looked like she was going to propose or something.

Still don't understand why people just leave their damn carts everywhere in the parking lot. It turns driving through it into a rally event. Also, people who park their carts in parking spots and then leave them can go die in a fire.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

^ Laziness combined with "That's what the workers are for, to clean up after me". I'd bet a majority of them don't leave their house a pigsty, but because the store is Somebody Else's Problem they don't think about what a bunch of colossal dicks they're being.

/AnnoyedRetailWorker

edited 22nd Nov '12 1:27:08 PM by Nohbody

All your safe space are belong to Trump

@Pyrite:knock yourself out.

edited 22nd Nov '12 1:33:51 PM by joeyjojo

hashtagsarestupid

@Pyrite: My PM box is open, and you can count it as "educating" me.

"Doctor Who means never having to say you're kidding." - Bocaj

Thanks, all. For the record: am going nuts, wish I could knock myself out, and... well, I don't have anything remotely witty to say about that last one.

Not a substitute for a formal medical consultation.

I have been considering writing up a tongue in cheek security job expectations and stuff list.

Who watches the watchmen?

@Tuefel: Do it. I've worked security before; my job description was "everything everyone else doesn't feel like doing".

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

I may call on you and others who have done guarding to help with the list.

Who watches the watchmen?

I am thinking of getting started as a live-in housesitter, but I don't know how to get started (especially without references) other than to tell my relatives and church friends "I would like you to pay me to live in your house".

My previous experience is just living in my own place for a while and one time when my aunt's family paid me to check in on their pets twice a day and feel free to make myself at home while I'm there.

I have no idea what a fair price is, but I was thinking $20 a day/$100 a week, plus expenses, $20 flat petcare fee, maybe some sort of price break if I can eat from what they have stored.

Fresh-eyed movie blog

It's looking to be one of those days when the well patients turn sick and the sick patients turn sicker...

Not a substitute for a formal medical consultation.

Oh dear, that can't be fun.

I'm really disliking higher education today.

I am participating in my store's Secret Santa program. My Secret Santa does not know how Secret Santa works. We're in the first week of three weekly gifts, and he came up to me tonight and asked me how I liked my first gift (it's a five-dollar mini speaker set that's stylishly shapes into a ball that unfolds.)

Meanwhile, I baked 20 snickerdoodles last night and boxed up a dozen for the girl assigned to me. If I never roll cookies in a topping again, it will be too soon.

Fresh-eyed movie blog

I did dangerous things today.

The first one; I had to disassemble the dust collection system to retrieve the cloth collection bags. This involved clambering up into a very narrow *

space roughly 25 feet up in the air (space was full of moldy sawdust BTW) and fiddling with a very recalcitrant metal clasp. The space I was in did not have much in the way of handholds either. A fall would have been five kinds of lethal.

The second one; cutting very small blocks (3 inches square) on a quite powerful table-saw. For those of you who don't know, cutting stock that is shorter than the saw's blade is very, very dangerous. That is what I had to do, because there was no other way to get the job done. I got a piece of ipe *

flung at my head during the process. The piece was roughly the size and shape of a ninja throwing star. I'm glad I dodged it.

Fortunately I managed to fashion a device that let me push the little throwing-star squares through the saw in a non-deadly way (after almost getting one buried in my face of course).

Gotta love being a working man. This is why I get paid the big bucks *

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

On night duty. Have a headache. Praying for a Silent Night.

Not a substitute for a formal medical consultation.

Shhhhhhhhhhh: you've just jinxed it... <hugs>

"Oh Come All Ye Faithful, to our Emergency Department~" *gets shot*

Not a substitute for a formal medical consultation.

Drunk: At least you moved to solve the problem.

My early draft at the security guard list. If any current or piror security guards shows interest in expanding the list we can make a seperate thread for our amusement.

1. On your first day you will have no clue what to do.

• In fact no one will have a clue what you’re supposed to do and it will be one giant jolly guessing game that will likely have you wandering around blindly and desperately trying to look busy and useful.

2. Uniforms never fit correctly no matter how accurate the measurements you give to the office.

• Even if you used lasers and high tech scanning machinery two shirts will seldom fit the same.
  • This is especially true if those two shirts are made by the same company.

3. White shirts will get stained sooner rather than later.

• The common guard shirt sometimes called "The Blotting Paper Tissue" shirt or "The Stain Magnet" is known to attract irremovable stains from 40 feet away. Also you will be involved in a task that gets the shirt stained.

4. If you have to wear ties they will likely be incredibly cheap clip on ties.

• If you look at them cross eyed they fall apart. You get water on them they permanently stain.
  • They will fall apart and often when someone is looking right at them.

5. Most of your gear is made by the lowest bidder.

• And the lowest quality bidder at that. Wouldn’t be a guard post if the guard manual fell apart when you tried to read it.

6. The guard manual is pretty much ignored by even by the home office.

• They will still insist it be followed but can’t be bothered to send anyone to enforce it.
  • Most guard posts end up writing their own rules. Like no martial sparring in the lobby or the elevator is not a drum solo training shaft.

7. One co-worker will be an unrepentant alcoholic.

• They will come to work and complain about hang overs. If you point out they probably drank too much they will get upset with you. Despite the pain and suffering they will repeat this possibly every night if not every weekend.
  • They will blame everything including them drinking for them drinking. Yo dawg. I heard you like to drink. :P

edited 11th Dec '12 7:25:47 PM by TuefelHundenIV

Who watches the watchmen?

Got laid off today. Should be only until the end of the year. We have a bunch of work lined up but thanks to it being the silly season no one's on the bounce. So the work won't start until January.

It's not a tragedy. I've got three major home improvement projects that need my attention and I can collect unemployment for the 2-3 weeks I'll be out. Hopefully I'll have my office squared away and my heat fixed before I go back to work.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

Good Luck Drunky!!

drunk: While you are on down time until the work picks back up care to add anything to list?

Who watches the watchmen?

@Tuefel: How bout this one..."If there is a job no one else in the office wishes to do, it will suddenly become a part of your duties."

Also: "You will always encounter the most trouble when you are the least prepared for it."

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

Isn't that second one just about universal, though?

All your safe space are belong to Trump

The second one is self-fulfilling.

I mean, if you're prepared for something, it's not exactly a lot of trouble.

Lerad: Even if your prepared for it things have a shocking habit of spiraling beyond your level of prepardness.

Who watches the watchmen?

Ugh, goddamn this job sucks hard at times. I need a drink.

Shit pay, variable hours, nonsense tasks... Whatever. Three more years of this nonsense.

edited 14th Dec '12 4:41:02 PM by MarkVonLewis