What do you look for in a romantic relationship . . .

. . . that you don't look for in a friendship? (Besides the obvious.)

I want to be raised above mere friends, for starters. Or if not really above, than definitely to a different level. I need my romantic partner more than I need any individual friend, for instance.

To be open, warm and tactile. Not necessarily that, but just to be comfortable with physically intimacy.

Pragmatism and submissiveness. I would dislike these in a friend, but in a mate, they are a requirement.

what do you mean by submissiveness...

I am looking for... someone I can spend time with 24/7 and not get bored or annoyed or awkward with.

To be honest, this question has always confused me a great deal. I used to think best friendship ever + physical aspect = romance. But now I'm realising there is some other aspect in there, I just don't know what it is.

That's been puzzling me for a while. If you ever work it out, PM me.

I look for certain qualities (not gonna try to define them now) that make me want to spend the rest of my life with that person, to the extent that my life and theirs is defined to an extent by the relationship - as in, that we become for each other a source of love and support on which one can rely and that we spend a significant portion of our free time together and are united in a single household (or family), and that we consider each other completely equal so that neither asserts their power over the other under  ^{normal circumstances}

edited 18th Mar '11 2:22:10 AM by BestOf

I'd want to have some sort of priority over others, I'd want them to be aggresive, and I'd want to have intimate contact with them.

A challenge.

Someone I can have a nice companionable relationship with. The sort of person I can live with and not grow tired of. We can be perfectly content with the other's simple presence. I don't look for this in friends. I just don't. With friends the most I look for is "Person I can occasionally talk to and have fun with". The companionable "I can spend time with you and not be bored or frustrated with your existing near me" thing is something I specifically want from a romantic relationship and only a romantic relationship. Also sex. I seem to have this. It is nice.

edited 18th Mar '11 9:11:56 AM by Aondeug

Good question. I'll know when I finally choose to marry.

Oh yes that is something I am never looking for. Marriage. I personally dislike marriage and don't see the point of it beyond tax breaks, being able to visit them in the hospital, and other such benefits. Thankfully she feels more or less exactly the same about this subject. And kids. We both share a hatred for kids.

@Aondeug I don't see the point of those benefits being only for married people.

Also, what Usht said.

edited 18th Mar '11 9:28:51 AM by KCK

Neither do I. Making marriage even more pointless. As it currently is though that is what marriage has going for it. Practical benefits.

edited 18th Mar '11 9:29:34 AM by Aondeug

Marriage to me is a bit like a magical contract of sorts, the big pinky promise. It's basically saying, "I chose you over everyone else in the world and I'll stick along side you." Which is why I'm not going to get married any time soon, not until I'm satisfied with my selection.

Marriage is the of a commitment. What's wrong with that?

I used to be against marriage for myself as well, but now it doesn't seem that bad if you truly are in it for the long haul.

I believe people ought to gain practical benefits on their own merit, without dragging another person into the situation.

@Jace Well, I'm thinking of civil marriage; there's nothing wrong with commitment, but the government doesn't need to be involved.

edited 18th Mar '11 9:32:14 AM by KCK

as Spike puts it. "I love a woman who can kick my ass." and for men I either go for the romantic knight in shining armor or the adorable goofball type. I love The Lad-ette and Dark Action Girl types. The Baroness.

I just don't see why marriage makes it any different. We can be committed to one another just fine without it. It's not a magical contract that will help keep us together. To others it may be, but to us it is not. You all can get married and view it as a good thing. That is fine. I just don't personally see anything special about it. Neither does she. It works out see.

Thank god we hate kids too...Good. We just need cats and each other. Oh and video games. And food.

@Aondeug Beware, your opinions may change.

Kurt Russal and Goldie Han did the whole non-marrige thing and they are doing better then Brangilina.

^^^ It's a more formalized commitment. It doesn't even have to be public, but it takes away most of the doubt that the relationship will come to end.

I'm on the fence about marriage right now. It's definitely not something I'm looking for or a goal of mine, though.

edited 18th Mar '11 9:44:10 AM by Jace

@tnu Huh? What's wrong with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Plus, how do you know this?

Oh they certainly may. With the kid thing I find change much more likely. Despite my great hatred of the things I like caring for things and watching them grow. Cats seem to be a fine baby surrogate at the moment. With marriage it is highly doubtful I am thinking. If we do get rid of civil marriage and just make it a religious thing it will still be highly doubtful. Unless I somehow become Christian or something. Which is highly doubtful.

Jace: I don't see the point of the formalized "We're together" ceremony whether or not it is public. While others may, and I understand that others do, I do not and she does not.

edited 18th Mar '11 9:45:37 AM by Aondeug