In Hetalia, X... IS NOT REALLY X!!!

Here's a list of characters who (as it may have already been said) I think are NOT as they seem.

-China is really the state of Qin. He killed his brothers and sisters because There Can Be Only One. He's spent the following millennia currying favor with each new dynasty so that a new China-tan doesn't rise in his place. The Mandate of Heaven? Part of his Xanatos Gambit. He's so hurt by what Japan did to him because his guilty conscience makes him remember that he did much the same thing to his older brothers Wei and Chu, among others, but SUCCEEDED IN KILLING THEM. He also ended up seeing the same tendencies in Russia, with his murder of the various Central Asian khanates, and Mongol Empire, with his murder of who knows how many and the brutal pain inflicted on most of the Asian nations. Yes, this is my loosely-assembled headcanon. Comment on it as you will.

-America is really Vinland. That's why he looks so Nordic.

-Canada is really that Norse settlement which may have been Newfoundland, but I'm not sure.

-Russia is not really a grown-up Muscovy, but Novgorod, who after losing his prominence, killed Muscovy and took his place... leaving no nation-tan for Novgorod.

-There is no actual France in Hetalia. That guy we keep seeing... is really THE SPY.

-Ancient Greece is not really Greece's mother... she's his GRANDMOTHER. Her son by Rome is Byzantium, who fathered Greece. This also makes Herakles the Italy Bros.' cousin.

-Turkey... is somehow related to Mongol Empire. Conquest seems to be In the Blood. Oh, and his father was Seljuk.

-Ancient Egypt is actually Egypt's GRANDMOTHER. Her daughter (again by Rome) spent her childhood as Aegyptus, but later became the nation-tan for the various caliphates and sultanates that ruled Egypt during the Middle Ages. She is Gupta's real mother... AND ENGLAND IS THE FATHER. (Anglo-Egyptian Sudan, anyone?)

So, here. Take your best shot at my utterly blasphemous headcanon.

edited 25th Feb '11 2:56:54 PM by YouMustDie

Where does Prussia and Finland come in?

Finland is actually Sami and Sami is actually Finland.

Also, Prussia is still just Prussia. No WMG's on him.

And Belgium?

And Poland?

Belgium is really an Eldritch Abomination.

Poland is not really Poland. He's really... a headcrab zombie.

If America is actually Vinland, then how is Texas America's glasses?

Well, America is Vinland, but was abandoned by birth and taken in (read: fed, but mostly ignored) by Seneca and the rest of the Iroquois/Haudenosaunee after he crawled south. He then wandered off as a toddler, went south, and that's when other Europeans found him. The rest... is history.

What happened to Holy Roman Empire?

He is neither Germany nor Liechtenstein. He's just... dead.

let me guess: Aegyptus killed him?

Yep. Crusading was a BAAAAD idea.

Did Aegyptus kill anyone else?

Nope. Ethiopia, who will eventually appear, however, is at least 100,000 years old, and is the ancestor of every Nation-tan ever, being the origin of humanity.

IF Ethiopia resembles Hungary, then does that make every nation's lust for Hungary Oedipal at all?

Well, it would... sorta.

And wouldn't that make everyone's lust for each other incestuous?

edited 2nd Mar '11 4:21:19 PM by AlirozTheConfused

Yes, yes it does. CANNOT BE UNSEEN

Also, that would make all the wars the best and biggest Family Fued ever!

Yep!

Any WMG stuff about Belgium?

No, not really.

So Belgium wasn't the mastermind manipulating France and Prussia into getting in so many wars? I was certain that Belgium had provoked Germany into attacking it on purpose to get America and England into WWI.

Nope. Belgium had nothing to do with the above incident.

So it was Prussia? (Otto von Bismark manipulating things from beyond the grave? Not unlikely.)

Of course it was! Prussia would certainly do such a thing, and most definitely not Beglium!