If you're atheist and your significant other was religious...

Well, my religion is pretty much a blank spot. So if for whatever reason, we didn't talk this over with ahead of time and it was a huge issue, I'd be willing to at least try and go through the motions for them.

They lost me. Forgot me. Made you from parts of me. If you're the One, my father's son, what am I supposed to be?

I don't see why saying grace a meal would be that big a deal. Assuming you're fine with them believing different things.... graces don't take that long. Is it really that big a compromise to wait 10 seconds before you eat?

The main things I think would be deal-breakers would be things like sex/abstinence and the like.

edited 17th Feb '11 9:26:16 PM by LoniJay

Be not afraid...

Graces take longer than 10 seconds...

"Every opinion that isn't mine is subjected to Your Mileage May Vary."

It's not, but it is pretty awkward.

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.

They could, I guess, but the one I'm most familiar with is "Lord, for what we are about to receive, we are truly thankful. Amen".

Or fine, 30 seconds if they want a longer one. Is it that big a deal?

Awkward, yeah, but I can't imagine it being a huge conflict.

edited 17th Feb '11 9:30:50 PM by LoniJay

Be not afraid...

Grace ain't really religion. It's ritual. I stop and have a toast before any serious meal, give thanks to the people involved in its making and best wishes for the future. Which is a sort of prayer I suppose. But it is mostly a ritual. A secular ritual.

I don't see why that would make it less awkward. I dunno, imagine if you were at someone's house and they all took a break to meditate at five o'clock, while you just stand there sheepishly.

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.

@Tzetze/"grace debate": You're in someone else's house. They're serving you food. If they want to bow their heads and say some words, just follow along. It isn't that hard, and all religion aside its a respectful thing to do. Sort of like taking your shoes off at the door if that's the local policy.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

I know, all I said was that it was awkward

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.

^^ I never said anything about being in other people's house...

If it's someone else's house, yeah, sure, I'll sit quietly and contemplate what I should eat first while waiting.

But let's assume it belongs to both person in the couple.

"Every opinion that isn't mine is subjected to Your Mileage May Vary."

@Signed: Then I guess its still a matter of respect. Maybe a compromise could be reached; grace is brief and non-denominational, and the other (atheist) partner just bows their head and contemplates. Mutual respect can go a long way.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

Bingo.

Our grace is religious, but my mother doesn't really mind.

edited 17th Feb '11 10:33:38 PM by rmctagg09

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

Assuming we've been in the relationship a while, I might tolerate that as long as they realize I'm most likely converting in name only. It would also depend on the sort of traditions I'd have to follow, but I'm not against sitting in on a pleasant Sunday service or being involved with a ritual of some sort.

If they think its somehow going to be bumped up into my main priority list, though, they're gonna be SOL — and a date, for that matter, if they don't leave it alone.

Nemo enim fere saltat sobrius, nisi forte insanit Deviantart.

-threadhop-

I would debate civilly, and try to convert them.

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD

If we're just debating the issue, fine. If she's actively haranguing me or is about to leave me just over my atheism, well... the relationships run its course, time to hop ship.

The term "Great Man" is disturbingly interchangeable with "mass murderer" in history books.

@Anon: personally, I'd find even civil attempts to get me to "change my ways" irritating on a long enough time-line. If she does not love me for who I am (warts included), then she can go find someone more to her tastes.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

I know *I* found grace pretty darn awkward. Unfortunately I made the mistake of thinking it would feel less awkward if I joined in on the "spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch". So wrong.

Wax on, wax off

I can't see myself being in a relationship with someone like this.

As for my problem with saying grace...

I used to go to this camp, and 2 of the person with us was christian even though the majority of us was atheist/didn't care. The camp instructor made us hold our hands, even if we didn't care about it.

The results? Since we ate outside, the food becomes cold pretty damn fast. Many of us were ravenously hungry since we only ate enough to survive and hike etc.

And I don't know how long it took, but it felt like an our of empty stomach, and he talked so slowly...he coulda snarked a bit, or joked once or twice to make it more interesting  ^*

. He had no sense of humor.

edited 18th Feb '11 1:10:44 AM by Signed

"Every opinion that isn't mine is subjected to Your Mileage May Vary."

The scenario posited was attempted conversion, which strikes me as a good reason to avoid the rabidly religious as sexual partners.

Enjoy the Inferno...

I wouldn't mind attempted conversion, so long as it was a proper attempt and not something idiotic like "Repent or be damned!".

If she said she couldn't be with me because I wasn't a member of her religion, and I couldn't sincerely become a member of her religion, I guess that would be the end of that. I wouldn't be dishonest about it.

edited 18th Feb '11 3:05:29 AM by BobbyG

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I just think throwing one's fundamental outlook and philosophy away for a chance to get into a bird's knickers is pretty much the pinnacle of self-abnegation.

Enjoy the Inferno...

Given the use of the phrase "significant other", I'm assuming here that the OP refers to something somewhat more serious than "a chance to get into a bird's knickers".

In any case, I don't think giving the possibility of conversion consideration constitutes throwing away your fundamental outlook and philosophy.

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Relationship = getting into a bird's knickers long-term.

Enjoy the Inferno...