What are the intents of "bullies?"

I find that kind of talk kind of creepy.

^How so?

Just the shameless pleasure in hurting or harming another person. I mean, I can understand taking pleasure in revenge, even if I don't think it's a good idea, but being so brazen about it, and openly advocating it, that creeps me out.

It probably doesn't help that the people I've met who've actually openly enjoyed intimidating others have been bullies of the crueler sort.

edited 23rd Feb '11 6:47:11 PM by BobbyG

Hmm, I don't see it. If somebody has been giving you shit for months/years, getting back at them feels great. I don't see why anyone should hide it.

edited 23rd Feb '11 6:46:52 PM by Kino

It just seems cold and unforgiving to me.

Sometimes that's the best way to be.

I disagree. People like that are saddening at best, and frightening at worst.

Yeah, I'm agreeing with Bobby. This sort of thing can ruin people emotionally, and if that risk is worth the pleasure you derive from it, then I don't know what to say to you.

You make it sound like you'll fall to the Dark Side; some people can get back at somebody, fell good about it, and live a normal life.

The point isn't that they're abnormal, it's that they regard intimidating and tormenting others as acceptable behaviour.

I'll give you a personal anecdote (as much as I hate them). I was bullied severely during middle school. I "got back" at the bullies three times, was punished once (Wasn't seen the other two times), and each time I felt like absolute shit afterwards. I just fell apart. Hell, I still live with the emotional damage that caused.

Also, shouldn't something be done to keep anyone ever "needing" to get revenge?

@Bobby: There's nothing wrong with intimidation; 9 times out of 10 it prevents a fight. If by tormenting you mean getting back at the person bullying you, I think you're crazy; if you mean harassing an individual for no reason, then I'm with you.

@Acebrock: It comes down to the individual, some people break down and have lasting issues, some people can do it and not feel bad. there are similar circumstances regarding killing in a war or during police work, but that's another topic.

edited 23rd Feb '11 7:11:02 PM by Kino

You make it sound like you'll fall to the Dark Side; some people can get back at somebody, fell good about it, and live a normal life.

This is true. That's exactly what most bullies are doing in the first place. That doesn't mean the suffering you inflict that way is any less significant.

If you do it right. There's something very fun about the idea that someone is afraid of you.

Of course. But is it as much fun as being afraid of someone is unfun?

edited 24th Feb '11 12:08:16 PM by Desertopa

The problem is that there's different types of bullying. If it's an individual bully, yeah, I'll be honest, getting back at them is probably going to end it (it'll have the bully picking a different target more than likely).

However, in terms of wider-spread social bullying, no, it's not. My experience is that the bullies then get the "reaction" that they've been looking for, then they want to see the reaction again, for the lulz, so it's actually ramped up. The target is also then in a more socially and politically vulnerable state.

The different types are different beasts and require different approaches. The first is pretty easy to deal with, unfortunately the second is almost impossible. It's a given result of how we arrange ourselves in our society. Not that there's nothing we can do, we just have to make sure that schools have programs and facilities in place for all students to find social communities of their own.

Of course. But is it as much fun as being afraid of someone is unfun?

About that much, yeah. To be fair, I don't start fights, and I don't suggest flipping your lid at the drop of a hat. But sometimes fire must be fought with fire and dicks are dicked with.

edited 24th Feb '11 1:52:15 PM by Pseudonym

No amount of moralistic finger-wagging can compete with the feeling of striking back against those who would prey on you.

ITT personal gratification is more important than social conduct. There's a difference between fighting back because you want it to no longer be necessary, and fighting back because of a perverse desire to see someone suffer.

edited 24th Feb '11 2:00:32 PM by Pykrete

What if it's both?

Frankly those seem rather mutually exclusive. If you wanted to see comeuppance, it seems you'd want to come their uppance more instead of backing off afterward.

Revenge=/=bullying. It amuses me how many people here try so hard to conflate the two.

Bullying is inflicting harm for self-gratification. Revenge is inflicting harm for self-gratification. The only difference is you're rationalizing the latter with "but I didn't start it!"

Bullying isn't the only vindictive or malicious behaviour you can engage in.

And they're not so far removed as that. If revenge is taken too far, it could well become a form of bullying.

edited 24th Feb '11 2:08:32 PM by BobbyG

As someone who used to be constantly bullied from kindergarten to about 9th Grade, I can tell you what they want: power. I got bullied cause I marched to the beat of my own drum, and bullies don't like that, because it tells them you reject their power, so they try to make you conform by force. Unfortunately, the teachers often did little but moralistic finger wagging. Me, I always find that if you beat the crap out of them, they stop bullying you. Mind you, you can get drunk on your new power, and become a bully yourself, but it works.

Is it unlimited?

Bullying is inflicting harm for self-gratification. Revenge is inflicting harm for self-gratification.

Again, you're doing the false equivalence thing: just because they share that trait doesn't mean they magically become the same thing.

I don't agree fully with this article I posted, but I think the author's onto something, nevertheless.

edited 24th Feb '11 3:01:33 PM by MRDA1981

To a student it can seem that way, though I admit, sending lightining through that jock who beat me up after school would be rather cool, independent of the unethical nature of the whole enterprise.