Social Bullying

A new study published in the American Sociological Review brings new light on the problem of social bullying.

http://t.co/VyLEvVj

One of the difficulties of dealing with bullying, is that generally when we talk/think about bullying, we think of the Nelson Muntz. The big brute, has problems at home and takes it out on those around them, etc. What we're seeing more talk about lately is social bullying, which is what this study is talking about. In this case, it's actually the desire for success that leads to bullying, in order to "win", someone else must "lose".

In any case, I was wondering what do people think about it. All I know is more people talking about this stuff is better.

edited 8th Feb '11 8:03:49 PM by Karmakin

I've heard the extreme of making everyone "winners" which sounds like it should be a strawman but seems to be implemented in extremely stupid ways.

I can see how excessive competition can lead to bullying but my experience with it wasn't that there has to be winner or a loser, it dealt with someone being socially awkward or annoying.

I've always said, bullies are less likely to be total douchebags when they catch a fist to the face or baseball bat to the kneecaps.

Sure, assault may not be the best solution, but hey it's a solution.

Hmmm...I do hate how people(usually teachers and such) keep on insisting bullies just have a troubled life rather than admitting that some people are just dicks...talking never solves bullying problems, ever.

Ah well, nothing a fist below the chin can't solve.

As for why people bully, I assume it's to prevent themselves from getting bullied or something.

edited 8th Feb '11 8:08:24 PM by Signed

Yet more evidence that "anti-bullying" campaigns are a waste of time and effort. Woo-hoo.

Nevermind.

edited 8th Feb '11 8:25:29 PM by Grain

What is it with bullying threads that brings out the Internet Tough Guy in everybody?

Social bullying is an ugly thing, because it's mostly about excluding and ridiculing certain children, and targeting mental insecurities in people who don't know how to combat it. The correct response to ostracisation is not to punch somebody in the face, and even the most socially retarded child could tell you that.

Pretty much.

School is a rough time socially for many, sure, but you just get through it and get to the real world.

The ones I hate are the ones who are doing obvious things to attract it, and instead of ceasing that behavior they try to get the administration to change the majority of other kids there to ignore it. That's not really how kids work.

If you're wearing tons of baggy shit from hot topic with chains on it and stupid phrases on the t-shirts, you're kind of making yourself a target. Stop making yourself a target, problem solved. (Coming from someone who wore hot topic t-shirts in junior high school)

edited 8th Feb '11 8:25:13 PM by Barkey

^Actually, my experience is that is what actually happens. School administrations as far as I can tell do very little about social bullying. Up until a few years ago it was something that wasn't even on their radar, really. I know that locally we saw the rise of a few real anti-social bullying campaigns but they came from the bottom up, and not the top down.

It depends on how much the kid is able to realize that hes bringing on himself.

I've seen some extremely weird dynamics develop between the bullied and the people who bully them.

As for the administration dealing with it? Most have been pretty poor and I know of one case where the student who was being bullied and the kid bullying him were forced to sign a contract that basically said that both were liable and the school didn't need to do anything. The kids didn't understand it and that started a big mess.

edited 8th Feb '11 8:30:14 PM by saladofstones

Subcultural identification is often taken very seriously by children. Dressing the same way as your antagonists is symbolically debasing yourself; it's saying "You win, I suck, I don't want to be me anymore". And making a conscious effort to be "normal" to get the bullies off your case will fool no-one.

I don't think "social bullying" is a new discovery. I've been aware of the phrase for a long time now.

^

Dressing like a freak will get you treated like one. That's pretty much how it goes, was rather an unwritten law in my school experience. Dress relatively normal, and be as much of a freak as you want when it comes to subject matter you talk about, and that's fine.

But dressing like a "freak" can mean a number of very different things. Dressing in very plain, generic clothes can make you stand out if everybody else is going out of their way to look ghetto, for instance. Besides, in my experience, the people who wore really weird clothes were the ones who had too much self esteem and force of personality to care what you said about them. The fashion styles that get you bullied are those belonging to minority subcultures, and what those might be can vary from school to school and year group to year group, or even class to class.

What is it with bullying threads that brings out the Internet Tough Guy in everybody?

Social bullying is an ugly thing, because it's mostly about excluding and ridiculing certain children, and targeting mental insecurities in people who don't know how to combat it. The correct response to ostracisation is not to punch somebody in the face, and even the most socially retarded child could tell you that.

Qualified agreement, though one cannot develop a tolerance to the ugliness of adult life without a taste of it as a child. I will say this much, though; those who riff on "I was bullied, I got through it, deal with you pussy" need to take a gander at how pervasive the whole thing has gotten. People getting stalked on Facebook? Nasty text messages? Twitter? this shit wasn't around until a few years ago. Things change, and its the one reason why I'm on the fence regarding this issue.

Still doing research, will come back with a patented "Drunk S solves the world's problems" post when I actually have an opinion.

For now, I'm sort of with Bobby.

edited 8th Feb '11 9:01:47 PM by drunkscriblerian

and there is the fact I am no Internet Tough Guy. I am a real life tough guy. If you mess with me, you end up on the floor. Plain and simple. Nobody ever bullied me again after I got bigger and stronger.

Plus you know...some people actually do make bullies bite their tongue by punching below their chin...for some reason only the puncher got in trouble, the twat got off scot free for some reason...

edited 8th Feb '11 9:09:08 PM by Signed

@Nick: Yeah, because committing the crime for which we all serve the sentence totally makes the world a better place.

Not that I'm categorically against such an attitude...hell, I advocated dueling in another thread. I just think that some of Column A and some of Column B is how we solve the world's problems.

Well, as eight years of holding the moral high ground, attempting to be reasonable, going through the authorities, and generally keeping my head did exactly jack shit for me, and a single punch ended the whole charade, I can't really fault someone for saying violence can solve bullying problems. Some people really do respond to no less.

@Pykrete: not debating that. I bought myself a whole semester of peace and quiet by almost breaking my middle school quarterback's jaw with a hurdle-pole. I just think that people who choose to go that route should recognize that they have officially become part of the problem.

If that's okay, then that's okay. Just know what it is you do, and what it means.

Depends on the bullies and what exactly it is that they're doing. There's rather more to this than the stereotypical violence and name-calling brand of bullying, unpleasant though that is.

^^ Precisely what are you calling the problem? Violence or bullying?

edited 8th Feb '11 9:21:21 PM by Pykrete

^^ Well if you get them in their chin, they're not likely to target you socially as well as violently...

If that didn't stop them, nothing else would have stopped them anyways.

^^^

I honestly think that's part of the solution, people move to easier prey if they think you're going to.. break their jaw.. with a hurdle pole... yeah..

You know what I mean, right around the time I learned that most bullies didn't want a physical fight, and just wanted to talk shit, I also learned that if I got up in their face and talked shit back and out-confronted them, they would usually back out.

If you punch a social bully in the chin, it makes you look like an asshole and makes everyone else hate you all the more.

Actually I never really got socially bullied much in high school, mostly because for some reason people perceived me as someone who would snap. Which was a load of crap, because I didn't really care that much about other people giving me crap enough to do something that drastic.

Oddly enough, I was friends with a lot of the jocks who used to give me grief during the last couple years of high school. For some reason we just started getting along fine junior year.

^ Actually not always true, one bully in my high school did get his ass kicked by this one guy he tormented and the guy did get a lot of status for it. A lot of people wanted to see that bully go down.

edited 8th Feb '11 9:30:09 PM by MarkVonLewis