ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

...!

...What.

-The video has paused itself, almost as if doing so will prevent leakage between the two fan-works-

I want a T-Shirt that reads "Jane, you must rock the fuck out" now

Chapter 3: Jane slammed her book shut. It wasn't really a book, because the pages were made of lasers and the words were made of headless women making godless love to dragon Pokemon made out of motorcycles, but it was still reading. "Barkeus, if you don't stop, we'll starve, and no one will be around to kill everyone in the universe if we get around to bringing everyone back to life after we killed them." "I am no longer Harpcues." The Celestial Pokemon dropped some of the planets he was juggling. "The worlds have shifted. I am Darkceus, of the Grimdark." He flexed one of his legs, which was made of pistols, and kicked a planet in half. "Bugger your Grimdark, faggart of a thousand suns." Darkceus sniffed. "And what of it? Is it a sin, should a Olympus Mon feel like faggarting a sun or a thousand? Why should the suns heave through the void, if not to be skewer't bypon ourn fagpoles?" Jane cast a glance at the book. Unsavory sounds emanated from a particularly damned chapter. She was hungry. She looked at a nearby cup. It had a faded brown film on the bottom. She thought about chumpits.

edited 29th Jul '11 8:49:41 PM by stargirl93

Maybe they're some kind of food made out of friend's arms? Wouldn't surprise me at this point.

This is so awesome.

-Looks at Fool-

Oh great, now I'm scaring her.

Perhaps I should go.

-Starts walking away-

-Is worried about Tagg, but decides to keep her distance-

"It wasn't really a book, because the pages were made of lasers and the words were made of headless women making godless love to dragon Pokemon made out of motorcycles, but it was still reading."
New favourite quote.

So it was a hologram of some kind? Sounds about right for laser-pages.

edited 29th Jul '11 8:54:05 PM by Pentigan

Jane was about to eat her cabbagewich when a man in a tuxedo appeared from behind nothing much. He stood ten feet tall and his head seemed wrapped in unwrappable darkness. "I am Radbury Riches. I write critically acclaimed fiction that always turns into fact. That's why I have more money than anyone." Jane dug a bit of cartilage out of the cabbagewich and continued chewing. "Would you care to discuss one of my books? I hear that my..." Jane fished out another bit of cartilage. It was a cartilage and mustard sandwich. "You shouldn't believe what everyone says about me. I took a shower with my cousin, once. And I have racist thoughts." A nibbet of yellow cartilage landed on Radbury 's shoe. He thought about his cousin.

(To Pentigan) Nah, it was just that awesome.

(On the newest chapter) .....what.

edited 29th Jul '11 8:54:41 PM by memyselfandI2

Getting a bit creepy, now...
Do you think Jane knows about this?

Sunny: <It works because of pure awesomeness!>

Chapter 5: The inquisitors were torturing Jane. First, Ignatius used the rock. Then Billy asked Jane if she wanted to read liveblog. Jane was so surprised that her pants flew right off. She was wearing men's underpants. The inquisitors were women's underpants. They realized that they were all men (and women) of the lord.

...Cartilage?

(To Sunny) That's right! -offers high-five-

(On the chapter) .....-blink- Okay, that's just weird. I WANT MORE FUCKFIRE!

Oh Arceus. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Sunny: <I know. That's what makes it so great.>

-Stops and turns around-

I'm sorry, it's just that I've got a lot to think about and it's getting to me. The whole end of the world thing and my depression and oh look I'm rambling again aren't I?

What does that even have to do with...?!

-is confused as everyone else is-

Chapter 6: Jane awoke to the throaty grumble of a TV Tropius. Not a TV Tropius, but the TV Tropius, the last of his kind after the subjugation of the tropeforest. His species once graced above the canopies, their snarky comments and clever ways of cataloguing media clichés proudly sweeping through their minds as they flew gracefully through the night, their hundreds of snide comments a now-fetid memory in the TV Tropius's watering eye. As his ocular ducts began to well with ancestral pride, so too did the countless fruits from the TV Tropius neck. The fruits swelled with sorrow and birthed a deluge of excreted cry-juice. Jane observed this with consternation, as she was tied to a table. Neither magic nor supracosmic strength would free her from her bonds. Had this creature access to an unknown material of deistic strength? Or did the TV Tropius have a secret yet more baffling? Jane squinted so she could see the subatomic strings of the ropes. She began tossing antimatter at them with her mind as a group of young Pokemon entered the TV Tropiuses hiding place. They were well-groomed and impeccably attired, and there were 5.8 of them, just enough to represent an array of genders and species that would leave no mon unhappy, save for the Stunfisks. They were on their own, as far as the TV Tropius was concerned.

-frowns as Sunny ignores my high-five-

Yeah! Stick it to the Stunfisk!

What, was the sixth missing a limb or something?

-at the Minute Clan cave-

Scratch: <You WANT to talk to her?!>

-The insufferable Marowak emerges from her quarters-

Iron Marrow: <What, what is it- ...>

<Well. The fiends.> -glares at Nadia- <I guess you can't expect them to have the honor to respect their banishment... but if you'll excuse me, I have business to work on. Time trail remapping, no sense in explaining it to philistines. So just go drool in a corner or something and don't touch anything important. That's everything, not that you rubes can tell.>

-picks up bone and starts towards a side passage-

Red Skull: <Wait, Iron->

-Iron Marrow sighs loudly-

Red Skull: <We need your lore to detail what the appeals ritual is to allow this Salamence to visit normally.>

Iron Marrow: <...>

Red Skull: <Your duty, Iron.>

Iron Marrow: <Ugh. Fiends don't get appeals, only pardons. You pardon a fiend by inducting them into the tribe...>

Red Skull: <And that is done how?>

Iron Marrow: <You tour the filthy beast around an adoptive clan, while swearing them in along the way...>

Red Skull: <I see. Well, we need this Salamance initiated, then.>

Iron Marrow: -glares- <...>

<very well, Elder. I defer to your judgment.>

-to Nadia- <...>

-through gritted teeth- <Fiend, and any yokels who want to witness, follow me...>

-Hugs Tagg again-

Please don't be mad...