Have one bigass search of a megapost.

Somewhere

-Alduin the Hydreigon and Tiamat the Kindgra are eating together on a date when Seishirou and Fuuma approach-

Fuuma: <Hey Alduin! Hey Tiamat!>

Tiamat: <Oh, hello, you two!>

Alduin: <Hey Seish! Hey Fuu!> ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

Seishirou: < Mmph... I know I shouldn't, but I still feel likaan^translation weird about how different he is from- >

Fuuma: <Just roll with it!>

-To Alduin-

<Say... We all know you like the sweet stuff, right?>

Alduin: <Do I? DO I?! I live for it!>

Tiamat: <You might as well ask if rain is wet!>

Fuuma: -twiddling his little claws together- <Yes, good, good...>

<But can you actually bake anything?>

Alduin: <Of course! I've got all sorts of recipes I can->

Tiamat: -Suddenly deadly serious- <Alduin, no.>

Alduin: <Aww, why?>

Tiamat: <You know what happened last time! Everything you made was declared a biohazard due to the sugar content!>

Alduin: <Ah, ehehe, yeah... Sorry again about that...>

Fuuma: ...

Seishirou: ...

<...We'll be going now.>

-they both flee-

<That's why he weirds me out, alright?!>

Fuuma: <It's a minor setback! We'll find someone else!>

Somehow

-Asmodeus the Seviper is arranging colored blocks into some eldritch sigils for no apparent reason when Seishirou and Fuuma approach-

Fuuma: <Asmodeus!>

Asmodeus: -turns to them- <Yes?>

Seishirou: <Do you have any knowledge of baking?>

Asmodeus: <Oh, certainly! I was planning a charity run selling baked goods to increase awareness of discrimination against reptile mons in media!>

Fuuma: <Great! Can you do some baking for us then? It's for the tangentially related cause of us not getting horribly murdered.>

Asmodeus: <Oh, I'd love to... If it weren't for one unfortunate setback...>

Seishirou: <...Wait, what?>

Asmodeus: ...I don't have any arms. -_-

Seish and Fuu: ...

-Dual faceclaw-

Some way

-Puffstool the Parasect is tending to some mushrooms when Seishirou and Fuuma approach-

Seishirou: <OK, let's just get this out of the way: Can you bake stuff for us?>

Puffstool: <The mushroom most certainly can!>

Fuuma: <Great! We need you to->

Puffstool: <As long as the mushroom can put spores in.>

Seishirou: <...Spores? Why?>

Puffstool: <The mushroom needs to spread its progeny somehow!> ^_^

Seish and Fuu: ...

-back away slowly. "slowly" meaning "as quickly as possible-

Something or Other

-blablablah, Paul the Walrein. Blablablah, those two jerk dragon brothers.-

Seishirou: <...It's Paul, right? Can you do some baking for us?>

Paul: <Most definitely, my fine draconic gentlemen. Baking's an underappreciated art form, man. I can whip you up a sample.>

Fuuma: <Please do, thank you.>

A bit later

-Paul's prepared a platter of brownies-

Fuuma: <Brownies! Perfect!>

Seishirou: <Can we taste test?>

Paul: <Sure thing, dragons of the earth.>

-both dragons nom a peice-

Seishirou: <These are delicious!>

Fuuma: <These just might work!>

Paul: <The secret ingredient is wifi.>

Fuuma: <...Wifi?>

Paul: <It's the latest thing, dudes. You'll feel it in just a sec.>

Seishirou: <...Please tell me you're somehow talking about wireless interne->

-Both mons' pupils suddenly dilate as they fall to the ground, twitching-

Dragon Bros' Trip

-Fuuma is cavorting through a colorful landscape of sunshine and happy clouds and rainbows with this playing in the background-

-Seishirou, on the other hand, is sulking in a dark landscape filled with dreary fog and rain with this playing in the background-

Seishirou: -looks over to Fuuma's situation- <...Why'd you get the good trip?>

Fuuma: <Don't know~ I'm just lucky I guess~>

Seishirou: <...You could show a little more sympathy, brother.>

Fuuma: <Don't care~ I'm having the time of my life~>

Seishirou: <...Liin hi.^translation fuck you, lit. mate you>

Reality

-The two come to, Fuuma with an ecstatic look on his face and Seishirou with a disgruntled one-

Paul: -strumming a guitar- How was it, dudes?

Seishirou: <It sucked.>

Fuuma: -waves a claw at Seishirou dismissively- <Don't listen to him, they were wonderful! Now you're going to have to make us qui->

-Seishirou promptly konks out Fuuma cold with a Dragon Claw to the head and drags him off-

Some sammich

-This post has a Scyther Klunk the Exeggutor, Seishirou, and Fuuma in it!-

Fuuma: -insert some variation of asking Klunk to bake here-

Klunk: <Sure thing! We know that stuff! We can help you out!>

Seishirou: <Waitaminute, he's just like Asmodeus! No arms! How's he gonna help us?!>

Klunk: <Oh, we're Psychic type! Telekinesis does the trick! That's not an issue at all!>

Seishirou: <...Oh, carry on then.>

A bit later

-Seishirou and Fuuma are happily munching pastries-

Fuuma: <These are really good!>

Seishirou: <Don't seem to have anything nasty in 'em either!>

Klunk: <Yay! Glad you like 'em! Do we get the job?>

Fuuma: <Most certai->

-both dragons freeze-

<...Wait a minute...>

Seishirou: <...These all have... Coconut.>

Klunk: <Uh, yeah? We always bake with coconut. What's wrong with that?>

-Seish and Fuu look back and forth between Klunk and the pastries several times-

-Then promptly sulk off with their heads hanging and tails dragging-

Sometsdwfrt

-Seishirou. Fuuma. Sam the thieving dragon-bat. You know the drill-

Fuuma: <SAM WE NEED YOUR HELP>

Seishirou: <WE NEED YOU TO BAKE SOMETHING WITHOUT PARASITIC SPORES OR DRUGS OR WEIRDASS IMPLICATIONS OF SORTA-CANNIBALISM>

Sam: -blinks- <Baking?>

-fidgets a bit-

<Well, I did serve on the S.S. Gourmet...>

Fuuma: <THAT'S GREAT NOW JUST BAKE SOMETHING WE'RE DESPERATE HERE>

A bit later

-Seish and Fuu are waiting outside a kitchen-

Seishirou: <What's taking him so lo->

-They both jump at an explosion from the kitchen-

Fuuma: <...We should probably check that out.>

-They both rush in to find Sam next to a grotesque mass of something.

Seishirou: -pointing a claw at the mass in horror- <STAHDIM IKIN BOVAALIK,^translation HOLY FISH PASTE, lit. holy fish slime WHAT IS THAT?>

Sam: <That's the appetizer!> ^_^

Fuuma: <I thought you said you were the head chef on the S.S. Gourmet or something?!>

Sam: <...Oh. No, I cleaned the bathrooms on the Gourmet. I was the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea, though!>

Seishirou: ...

<...We probably should have seen that coming by now.>

Fuuma: <...Yep.>

Sam: <...Given the pop culture reference I'm making I should get rid of this before the "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES EVERYONE IT'S THE APPETIZER" part.>

-Gleefuly noms the mass in one bite-

Banannas

-Seish and Fuu are curled up in balls next to each other as much as their respective species' body structures allow.-

Seishirou: <That's it, we're doomed, those fangirls are gonna tear us to shreds and feast on our entrails...>

Fuuma: <To be fair our entrails would probably be a better meal than most of what the other mons->

Seishirou: <NI HIIF, ZEYMAH!^translation NOT HELPING, BROTHER, lit. not help brother>

-beat-

<...Wait... You specifically told the fangirls we made brownies... Was that because of...>

Fuuma: ...

-radiating pure happiness-

<Champloo... Champloo's brownies...>

-Seishirou promptly starts drooling-

Seishirou: <So tasty... Too good for this world, too pure...>

Fuuma: ...

-sits up-

<I know what we have to do.>

Seishirou: <...What?>

Fuuma: <Get Baking 101...>

<...From Champloo himself.>

Also, Echoing Silence, I can throw a character at you once I get something with Crow and Bitters started. :P

edited 4th Dec '15 6:42:28 PM by Umbramatic

Ever Grande

-Silas sees the Honchkrow and the Salamence-

Silas: Huh. Care to talk to them Hacks?

Hacks: *Narrows eyes*

Silas: You know I can't talk to Pokemon. I don't know what they are staying.

Hacks: ~True enough. You're lucky to have me you know that?~

Silas: I am well aware.

-The two walk over to the Salamence and the Honchkrow-

Hacks: <Hello there. Do you two happen to live around here?>

Pacifidlog Town

-Notices Jacob-

Shall we?

Ever Grande

-The Salamence hears Hacks and gives a roar which doesn't really convey anything outside of disagreement-

-The Honchkrow notes Silas' attire and feels a bit of reservation, but tries not to do anything to indicate it-

Honchkrow: <Oh, uh, no, we don't. We travelled here.>

Palace of Shadow

-Slightly is walking with Maggie, Jones, and the defected X-Nauts outside of the tower towards where the noise came from-

Slightly: <Seriously, is it now that the adventure decides to start throwing the darker stuff at us?>

Jones: <Well, given what we know about this place, it does make sense...>

Maggie: "Let's just keep going and deal with what we need to deal with."

Ever Grande

Hacks: <That figures. My trainer and I are travelers ourselves. We've been exploring the Regions of the world. What brings you here?>

Ever Grande

Honchkrow: <Watching some... humans and their Pokemon do battles.>

Ever Grande

Hacks: <Really now? Why watch them? And why do I feel you are hiding something?>

Silas: Sounding a bit accusatory Hacks. Something up?

Hacks: ~Sorry about that. Just a odd pause in the Honchkrow's statements.~

Silas: *shrugs* What does that matter?

Hacks: ... ~You're right~ *turns back to the Honchkrow* <Sorry for that.>

Ever Grande

-The Salamence raises an eyebrow at the reaction while the Honchkrow continues-

Honchkrow: <Er, it's fine.>

<Anyway, I've just been hanging around with some of them for a while now, admittedly.>

Ever Grande

Silas: *Takes notice of the Salamence* Aura users. They sometime read too much into things. *Shrugs*

Hacks: <Can I take a wild guess as to the group of individuals you've been hanging around?>

Palace Of Shadow

Arika: Slightly, you have no idea. And on a related note I think I know which boss is next...

Near Silas

-A Pangoro paw suddenly reaches over the back of Silas' head and tries to pry the mask off-

Ever Grande

Honchkrow: <Oh? If you think you know, go ahead.>

-He does not notice the Pangoro paw-

-The Salamence does, though does nothing but look on-

Palace of Shadow

Slightly: <Eh? Who?>

edited 30th Nov '15 6:01:50 PM by CorvusAtrox

Ever Grande

Silas: *Grips the Pangoro* Don't touch the mask... Only I pull it off.

Hacks: <We've met at least a few in the past little while. So I am going to say you have been traveling with The J-Team.>

   Palace of Shadow   

-Maggie, Arika, Nico, and co. might hear a familiar cackle-

???: <Mweeheehee! We've been waiting for you...>

Vivian Was Totally There The Whole Time Shut Up: <Oh, no...>

Near Silas

Bang The Pangoro: -scowls and pulls his paw back- <Since when do you make the rules, short stuff?>

???: Bang. Stop this instant.

-Bang grumbles and steps back as a redheaded woman approaches Silas

Lina: Sorry about him, he's-

-blinks-

...Have I seen you around before?

Palace of Shadow

Arika: -turns to Slightly and thumbs to the source of the voice- Right in front of you.

Nico: -snarls- You!

Kaguya: -looks at Vivian worriedly- <Are you OK...?>

edited 30th Nov '15 6:22:09 PM by Umbramatic

Ever Grande

Silas: *Turns to Lina* Can't say we have. Then again very few people know my face.

Hacks: *Looks at Bang* <He's had people trying to pull it off for years. He's aware of when it is and isn't on his face.>

Silas: *Looks straight at Lina and tilts head* You are?

edited 30th Nov '15 6:16:02 PM by EchoingSilence

Pacifidlog

Jacob: -He nods- "Yeah, let's."

-He sends out Ferris, and carefully gets on the Aggron's back as she starts swimming-

-Looking up at the giant tower- "... Funny story. The first time I snuck in there Rayquaza lit me on fire."

Ever Grande

-The Honchkrow nods-

Honchkrow: <Yeah, you're right.>

-He then notices Lina-

<Uh, hey, Lina.>

Palace of Shadow

-Slightly sees who Lina indicates-

Slightly: <Oh, these guys again.>

-The two former X-Nauts tremble a bit-

X-Naut A: <B-Beldam?>

Maggie: "Oh joy."

edited 30th Nov '15 6:25:06 PM by CorvusAtrox

Ever Grande

Hacks: *smiles* ~Well whaddya know. Hey Silas. These two are with the J-Team.~

Silas: *Looks back over at them* Hm. Seems the J-Team is everywhere around here.

Hacks: ~You say that like it's a bad thing. They are famous!~

Silas: Celebrities are people like everyone else. They aren't really all that different. Has Amber reading off more of those rumors to you?

Hacks: *Shoots him a smug look*

Silas: I may need to revoke her internet privileges.

Pacifidlog

-While using Muddy and a raft-

The first time I made it to the top was when a possessed Kyogre was trying to kill us while we flew on Rayquaza's back. The old days were wild...

Route 131

Jacob: ಠ_ಠ

"... This whole "meteor about to destroy the world" thing is pretty much par the course for you, huh?"

Ferris: -Looks at Muddy like she's going to say something, then thinks better of it-

Jacob: -Sighs and sits back- "Well. Hopefully this will shed some light on things. How much about Hoenn mythology and history do you know? I know a bit, considering I lived here."

   Palace of Shadow   

-A Froslass, a Dusknoir, and a Lampent all phase up through the ground.-

Vivian: <Heeheehee... I hate to turn on—>

-Record Needle Scratch-

Vivian: <...>

Vivian: <...>

Vivian: <...>

Vivian: <...>

Vivian: <...YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!>

-"Vivian" grumbles and reverts back to being a Ditto-

Doopliss: <I thought you'd left this bunch of losers!>

Vivian: <I was just really quiet for a while, okay? I'm here now.>

Beldam: <Would you two nincompoops be quiet already?! I was about to gloat here!>

Marilyn: <Guhhh...>

-To Jacob-

Pretty much, and a decent amount.

Muddy: -Notices Ferris looking at him- <Hey, I wasn't there for that one, but Draca was.>

Route 131

Jacob: "... Alright then. There's a loud buzzing in my head for all the philosophy stuff I want to rant about now, but I'm not going to."

Ferris: -Nods- <O-Okay then.>

-After a couple minutes, they reach their destination-

Jacob: -Sends out Regina as Ferris climbs up on the shore- "Well. Let's go take a look, shall we?"

Near Silas

Bang: -grumbling- <I bet he's hiding a really dweeby face under it...>

Lina: -To Crow- Hey Sholto.

-To Silas-

I can confirm your words are true, though I'm one to talk given my situation's... Complicated.

Lina. You?

Palace Of Shadow

-Arika assesses Bedlam, then whispers in Nico's ear. He nods, then she turns to Doopliss and scowls-

Arika: So you're one of the Dooplisses that fucked up Chapter 4?

Kaguya: -To Vivian- <I'm assuming you ditched these three for a reason?>

JERKBRO BAKER SEARCH BONUS ROUND

This bonus was written due to a suggestion by Pippi where she reminded me I'm currently in control of an old character of hers that would be perfect for it. Assume it happened between Asmodeus and Puffstool in the original.

-Seish and Fuu rush up to a certain Krookodile-

Fuuma: <Kamina! Please, can you make baked goods?>

Kamina: <NO! ONLY MAKE SANDVICH. WHY HAVE NEED TO MAKE ANYTHING ELSE?>

Seishirou: <Prevention from being murdered by fangirls.>

Kamina: <VICIOUS FANGIRL MONSTERS DON'T LIKE BABY FOOD. THEY ONLY LIKE SANDVICH!>

Fuuma: <...Alright, give us those, then.>

-Kamina whips out two sandwiches, which Seish and Fuu taste-

-Only to spit them out in disgust-

Fuuma: <Ack! Not gonna fly.>

Seishirou: <...Is this even meat?>

Kamina: ...

   YOU INSULT SANDVICH?!   

Seish and Fuu: O_O;

-exit pursued by angry Krookodile-

edited 30th Nov '15 7:54:41 PM by Umbramatic

Ever Grande

-The Honchkrow now known as Sholto nods and switches to a manner of speech Silas would be able to understand-

Sholto: "Uh, well, I don't know exactly how famous I'd be..."

-The Salamence looks a bit unsure about something, then gives a snort-

Palace of Shadow

Maggie: "...Okay, can we just get whatever mind games you had in mind over with? We've all got peoplemons waiting for us."

edited 30th Nov '15 7:54:07 PM by CorvusAtrox