ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

[Undisclosed Banana Republic], Presidential Palace, Somewhat Recently

In the bedroom of the daughter of El Presidente, there are two women sleeping in the ridiculously large, four-poster bed. One of them, said daughter, is being spooned by another woman who could be called, stature wise, a textbook example of the amazonian beauty. Tall, well muscled, her skin is of a lightly tanned complexion, and crisscrossed here and there by various scars. She sits up, getting out of the bed. Her companion stirs.

[ ] = Translation Convention for [Spanish].

Girl: [Don't go.]

???: [I am sorry, sweet, but I must. I don't think your father would approve of your choice of bedmate.]

She starts changing, pulling on leather pants and a white short sleeve t-shirt.

Girl: [Are... are you sure?]

???: [Yes, hon. He does hold that what we've been doing is... an abomination.]

The daughter sighs. Throwing on her leather jacket, the woman steps back over to the bed, leaning down to give her companion one last kiss.

Girl: [Will you ever come back, Clara?]

Dr. Clara Lawrence, PhD.: [I'll certainly try, hon.]

Grabbing her belt of Pokeballs, she walks over to the window and opens it.

Clara: [If not, we'll always have these last few days. I'll try and write. It's been real, kid.]

She dives out the window, rolling as she hits the well-manicured grass of the lawn below. Above and behind her, guardsmen burst into the bedroom, quickly followed by El Presidente.

El Presidente: [WHERE IS SHE?! THAT WHORE! Stole my artifact and sleeps with my daughter!]

On the grass, Clara smirks as she checks the inner pocket of her jacket, said artifact tucked away safe. She sends out a Bouffalant.

Clara: Get us out of here!

<???: Really? Again?>

Clara: What can I say, she was just so beautiful! Worth every bit of hardship.

She hops on the buffalo's back, leaning low.

Clara: Go Chris! RIDE THE LIGHTNING!

<Chris: Arceus you can be such a dork.>

Chris accelerates rapidly, riding hard for the fence. Out of the palace's shadow, the two are spotted by the guardsmen above.

El Presidente: [FIRE!]

A variety of ranged attacks blast over and past the pair as they reach the fence, Chris leaping over it.

Clara: Hahahaha! Oh, this never gets old.

<Chris: I beg to differ.>

Clara: Shoosh you.

<Chris: Did you at least get it?>

Clara: Yep. Dangerous, weaponizable artifact secured.

<Chris: Thank Arceus for small miracles.>

They make their way through the streets of the capital towards the docks, dodging patrols on high alert. Reaching their contact, they get on a boat headed straight for international waters, and safety.

<Chris: Now, if we're quite done, I'd like to get back in, thank you.>

Clara: You sure?

<Chris: Yes I am sure!>

Clara: Fiiiiine.

She recalls the buffalo, laughing.

Clara: Well, here's to another successful acquisition! Time to get this back to the University for analysis and storage.

Fortree, Today

Clara, in the same outfit, strolls into town, an odd looking Sableye◊ sitting on her head.

Clara: Well, that was a good ride. Glad to be out of there.

<Moony: -grunts->

edited 25th May '15 9:29:01 PM by BluBeriPi

Fortree

-After a while, the camouflage begins to drain off of the being like water colors in the rain, revealing a Kecleon.-

Kecleon: @_@

-A rather unconscious Kecleon.-

??? <Oh, come on Phil! You had one job, and that was to get donuts!>

-Another Kecleon crawls over the side of the bridge, this one having apparently changed it's color to a solid brown.-

Brown Kecleon: <Oh, for the love of->

-The brown Kecleon facepalms.-

Brown Kecleon: <What, did you think too hard again?!>

Fortree

-having little better to do than sit around the room watching J-Team reruns, Joe and Munn sit around the room, watching J-Team reruns. In particular, a certain scene that was experienced by the two of them firsthand, in a small bar in Summerland...-

Krabby Klub

-Joseph is off in the corner, distracted by Arceus only knows what, while Munn seats himself next to a certain stranger, who is simply drinking some bottle or another with little fuss-

Munn: Hey, there.

-the man stares at him with a particular look that made it seem as though he interrupted something quite important-

Garrett: Hello.

Munn: I was watching you from the sidelines, and I couldn't help but notice that you seemed to be an asocial loner who walked about alone in the world, with only your mad, mad thoughts.

-Garrett gives Munn a long stare-

Garrett: That would be right.

Munn: Well, I'm afraid that I've done you one better.

Garrett: Hmmm. That so?

Munn: Indeed, it is so. As it happens, I insinuated myself amongst the outsiders of society in order to fight the true evil, true love being the only thing keeping me from falling off the deep end.

Garrett: ...hmm. And these outsiders of society...are they particularly strange?

Munn: Exceedingly so.

Garrett: Give an example.

Munn: Well, I remember quite clearly one day, long before I met my love, that I ate cold chow mein at a street corner, before heading inside a dingy bar to shoot pool with a midget until the rain stopped. At which point, I went outside to a convenience store to acquire gum, a lighter, a pocket knife, and a pack of cards with women on the back to play solitaire with.

Garrett: ...sir, are you attempting to out-Tom Waits me?

Munn: I don't believe I've said anything to give you that impression.

Garrett: Well, you have. And I can assure you, whelp, that that is a game that you will lose. At least you have Tori Amos over in the corner there.

-Joseph has downed a bottle of absinthe and is giggling madly-

Joseph: Look, the green fairies are coming out to play!

Garrett: I have devoted myself entirely to fighting the evil that is Mega Evolution, and in doing so I have been alone more in one day than you have in your entire life. Why, practically my every move is complemented with a deranged oompah band! I am, simply put, a Tom Waits song given physical form. Now, I ask again: are you attempting to out-Tom Waits me?

Munn: I suppose when you put it like that, yes, I am.

-this is met with a long stare shared between the two of them-

Garrett: I suppose that the only way to settle this is with a duel.

Munn: You would be correct. Now...

-he takes out two packs of cigarettes-

Munn: Shall we shove these down our throats now, or have the traditional warm-up?

Garrett: Let's savor the moment and put those aside for now.

-Munn does so, and clears his throat. Here, the amount of smoking that he had done in the past is evident-

Munn: Have you, at any point, rolled up a blade in your trick towel?

Garrett: Many times. Have you, at any point, observed a [German] dwarf dance with the butcher's son?

Munn: The German dwarf was named Dieter, and the butcher's son had palsy. They were delighted in each other's company, and both died within the year. Now, have you ever fallen to your knees to pray in the middle of Zerelda Lee's candy store?

Garrett: ...

-he's sweating. He knows he'd been had, here, so the only solution is to bark at the top of his lungs like he had just gargled with glass-

Garrett: WE SAIL TONIGHT FOR [SINGAPORE] WE'RE ALL AS MAD AS HATTERS HERE

-Munn begins to growl and snarl back-

Munn: WEEEEEEEELL SETTLED DOWN IN THE VALLEY AND HUNG HIS WILD YEARS ON A NAIL THAT HE DROVE INTO HIS WIFE'S FOREHEAD!

Garrett: INSIDE A BROKEN CLOCK SPLASHING THE WINE WITH ALL THE RAIN DOGS

Munn: I COME HOME LAST NIGHT FULL A FILTH OF OLD KROW AND YOU SAID YOU WERE GOIN TO YOUR MA'S BUT WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?

Joseph: CEEEEEEEEEE IS FOR COOKIE AND THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME~

-both stop, and slowly, slowly turn to stare at Joseph-

Munn: Way to kill the moment, sugar.

Garrett: Go back in the corner and sleep with the butterflies.

Fortree Room

Joseph: ...huh. I don't remember this.

Fortree — Yesterday

-Eskay takes a moment to recall Lifealope-

Eskay: ...Aaaaah... that... does explain a lot.

Fortree — Today

Vierr: Hey, don't blame me. I gave him options for lies he could have given.

Fortree Gym

-Winona watches Jacob's entry, raising an eyebrow.-

Winona: ...You certainly are the epitome of grace.

-It is incredibly difficult to tell if she's being sarcastic or not.-

Winona: Anyway, yes. I assume you're a bit more prepared this time?

Fortree

-The Brown Kecleon facepalms loud enough to sound like two boulders had crashed together.-

Brown Kecleon: <Phil, I just... Eugh, you know what? You're not going out alone again for as long as I can convince the Commander.>

-The Kecleon grabs Phil and starts to drag him off. The Brown Kecleon stops and turns around for a moment.-

Brown Kecleon: <Here.>

-He tosses Vierr a pouch filled with berries and coins.-

Brown Kecleon: <You didn't see anything.>

Fortree Gym

Jacob: "I was prepared before. Just not thinking clearly. Okay, let's get this started, Arondight!"

-Sends out the Aegislash-

Fortree

-Vierr gladly accepts the pouch-

Vierr: <Most definitely not an incompetent Kecleon and his immediate superior.>

Fortree Gym

Winona: Fair enough.

Charizard: <Rawr! Again!>

edited 25th May '15 6:42:52 PM by Eskay64

Fortree

Brown Kecleon: <Good man.>

-The Brown Kecleon disappears as Phil's head bounces off of every uneven board the Brown Kecleon can find as he appears to slide across the ground unassisted.-

Fortree Gym

Jacob: The board is set... time to wrap this up.

"Swords Dance!"

Arondight: <A dragon? HAH! I WILL SMITE THEE!>

-Does a spinny sword dance as her attack increases-

Fortree

Charizard: <Raaaaargh, why is nobody ever scared of dragons anymore?!>

Winona: Will-O-Wisp.

-In frustration, Charizard spits a weird purplish flame at Arondight-

Fortree Gym

Jacob: -Extends his arm- "Protect."

Arondight: <DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??> -Flips around and throws her shield covered in a beehive barrier into the flames, deflecting them-

<I AM THE SWORD OF THE HERO LANCELOT! I HAVE FELLED DRAGONS>

<Also you're allergic to pixies so I can't take you seriously any more.>

edited 25th May '15 7:13:01 PM by Verax

Fortree Gym

-Blinkblink-

Charizard: <But... I'm not allergic to them...?>

Winona: Jacob, I thought you'd be aware enough that Protect does little more than take up a move option in most single battles. Will-O-Wisp again.

-More purple flames!-

edited 25th May '15 7:18:15 PM by Eskay64

Fortree Gym

Jacob: "I'm aware. What you seem to be forgetting is that exploiting that means we already know what you're going do." -Snaps-

Arondight: -Takes advantage of the blinking to do nothing-

-Then actually dances around the flames and tries bashing the Charizard with a Head Smash-

Fortree, Duniree's Temporary Secret Base

-Deziree flips through some of her (sorted and re-theorized) notes.-

Deziree: Hmmm... So, the amulet isn't actually necessary for the split to occur.

-Deziree stops.-

Deziree: ...

-She flips her table, causing it to do a perfect three hundred and sixty degree flip before landing back on it's feet.-

Deziree: I FORGOT ABOUT THE AMULETS!

-She rushes over and takes out her aethergemology set and the two only-partially-reconstructed amulets and gets back to the same steps she left off on.-

Fortree Gym

-Yeeeowch. That hurt. A lot. Like, too much for Charizard to handle.-

Also a lot on Arondight too, because, y'know, recoil.-

Deziree's Secret Base

-A small red lizard thing comes crashing through the ceiling, landing face-first on the ground behind Dezi-

Igneous: <Ugh... Not cool, bananasaur...>

edited 28th May '15 1:49:42 PM by Eskay64

Duniree's Temporary Secret Base

-Deziree jumps back, her multi-layered magnifiers bouncing around her face like spring-loaded tentacles.-

Deziree: GAH!

-She defensively points the small laser she was using at Igneous, which on a macro level probably does little more than tickle.-

Cid: <Hm?>

Deziree's Secret Base

-Igneous flails at the more-or-less-just-tickling laser, jumping to his feet-

Igneous: <GAH STOP>

Duniree's Temporary Secret Base

-Deziree blinks as she finally takes her magnifiers off.-

Deziree: Wait... Aren't you Igneous? That one Delta Tyranitar?

Cid: <Oh, this will be grand...>

Secret Base

-Igneous recovers his senses, and gives an exasperated sigh-

Igneous: <Do I look like a Tyranitar now?>

edited 25th May '15 8:51:12 PM by Eskay64

Duniree's Temporary Secret Base

-Deziree puts on her magnifies again and fiddles with the settings.-

Deziree: You do now!

-Igneous might notice just how freakishly large Deziree's eye looks under the arrayed magnifier lenses.-

Deziree: But that's aside the point. Why did you coming falling through my ceiling?

-She scrutinizes the Larvitar through the magnifier.-

Secret Base

-Igneous brushes some flaming leaves off of himself-

Igneous: <Let's just say I didn't make any friends today.>

edited 25th May '15 8:51:00 PM by Eskay64

Duniree's Temporary Secret Base

Deziree: Oh. Huh.

-She takes out the laser again.-

Deziree: If you're going to stick around, a few ground rules. Don't disturb me, don't mess with the couch, and don't attack my boyfriend when he comes back from the store.

Secret Base

Igneous: <...To what degree are we talking "mess with"? As in, "don't touch the couch at all" or just "don't set it on fire"? And... er, why not?>

edited 25th May '15 8:50:49 PM by Eskay64

Duniree's Temporary Secret Base

Deziree: Don't damage it. Because it's our pullout bed.

-She takes the stool she kicked away when Igneous dropped in.-

Deziree: We don't go furniture shopping much.

Secret Base

Igneous: <Pullout bed, got it. Don't burn. Burning bad.>

-He stomps out a flame from one of the still-burning leaves-

Igneous: <Anyway, er... I'll try not to attack Dusty or whatever his name is.>

edited 25th May '15 8:50:40 PM by Eskay64