ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

A Pokémart somewhere

Two guys set up a bunch of sliced pecha berries connected to a circuit board connected to a laptop running a DAW. When they get it set up, they do this:

Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of pechas
Movin' to the country,
Gonna eat me a lot of pechas
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of pechas
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of pechas

Pechas come from a can,
they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way,
I'd eat pechas every day
Sun-soakin' bulges in the shade

Take a little nap where the roots all twist
Squished a rotten peach in my fist
And dreamed about you, woman,
I poked my finger down inside
Make a little room for an ant to hide
Nature's candy in my hand or can or a pie

Millions of pechas, pechas for me
Millions of pechas, pechas for free

Look out!

Petalburg

-A certain trickster deity blips into Petalburg-

Human!Alphos: It's the most wonderful day of the year again! Hmmm, what shall I do this year?

-snaps his fingers, summoning Team Umbra to his location-

Lina: -growls- You again!

Robin: Wait, what's going on? Who's the blond guy in the white suit?

Umbra: A trickster deity from another universe named Alphos. He torments us this day every year... Safe to say he's trouble.

Human!Alphos: Shucks, Umbra, I'm flattered!

-Looks Umbra over-

Hmmm... You're already kinda like your author... But what if you were MORE SO?

-overwrites Umbra's personality with his author's-

Umbra: ...

I'M IN THE POKEMON WORLD! This is the best day of my life! :D

-runs off-

Human!Alphos: -turns to Lina- You want to be the world's most powerful sorceress, right? Wish granted~

Lina: -is suddenly in her sorceress robes◊ and has phenomenal Obscuric power-

...

POWER! UNLIMITED POOOOOOOOOOWER!

-floats off, cackling and shooting Obscura lightning bolts everywhere-

Human!Alphos: -to Ammy- You haven't had any epic battles as an Arcanine lately... Let's fix that!

Ammy: -is suddenly a white Arcanine again-

-is also being challenged by the Ark of Yamato-

Ark of Yamato: -roars-

Arcanine!Ammy: Hoo boy. ._.

Human!Alphos: -to Arika- How about I compensate you for missing out on the Paper Mario adventure?

-Arika is suddenly in a Mario-ish outfit and wielding a hammer-

-Ren is there too as Luigi-

Mario!Arika: Come on, Ren! Let's stomp some Shroomish!

Luigi!Ren: But I like Shroomish...

-they run off-

Human!Alphos: -to Nico- So you wanna be a famous hero, huh? why don't you be TWO CHAMPIONS AT ONCE?!

Nico: -is suddenly Wallace in Steven's clothes-

...Awesome!

-runs off-

Human!Alphos: -to Robin- And finally, the newbie. Let's see what happens when you act like a typical player of your game!

Robin: -has his personality changed to a typical FEA player's-

...

I must breed an army of supersoldiers! >:|

-runs off-

Human!Alphos: Let the games begin.

-Sits in a levitating comfy chair and eats popcorn-

Contact Me!

Somewhere

<Kaminari: And it seems that Sixth has thrown down the gauntlet with musical fruit! Surprisingly, NOT BEANS! Meanwhile, a trickster has laid down some serious transformation, including fourth wall breaking and granting a worrisome amount of power to Lina! I do say, things are looking INTERESTING! Stay tuned folks!>

edited 1st Apr '15 7:00:21 AM by BluBeriPi

Ball

-In ball, not doing much, when suddenly awoken-

<Huh? What going on?>

-Suddenly get lots of information about Trainer's Team that shouldn't have a way of knowing-

<...Wait, what going on?>

-Then hear voice explaining stuff-

<...Okay, so normally narrator of story, but want me be narrator for day?>

<Why can't do self?>

-Voice says more stuff-

<...Ergh, fine.>

Gloomy Building

-Pirate Sneasel look up at door-

Pirate Sneasel: <...Wait, how get up there?>

Trainer: <Unless want float, should probably come this way.>

Ball

-Will not bother writing stuff with voice, but can assume voice is saying stuff-

<Okay, that good?>

<...For whole day?>

<...Weird thing do if going be busy.>

<Hm, fine, but curious.>

<Know much about what happened old trainer?>

<...>

<...>

-Start laughing a lot-

<Oh mon, how get so wimpy now?>

edited 1st Apr '15 7:11:52 AM by CorvusAtrox

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

<Kaminari: Not quite sure what's going on with this one, but I believe it to be NARRATORIAL SHENANIGANS! Interesting stuff - good job on confusing even me, CHAOS ITSELF!>

Petalburg

-as Ever Memito awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic-

Ever: Spaaaaaaaarce.

-What has happened to me, he thought?-

Ever: Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarce.

???: And that there appears to be a giant Dunsparce! Now, we just have to be very quiet...

Ever: Sparce?

-and Ever is tackled by Amanita-

Amanita: Okay, now I'm just gonna open his mouth and take a look at those beautiful choppers. Dunsparce have very small teeth, made primarily for eating lichen, so I'm not too concerned.

Ever: SPAAAAAAARCE! -tries to bite Amanita-

Amanita: CRIKEY!

-there is a burst of flame, and a girl in a bright green spandex outfit and a cape appears-

Brie: Did somebody say, "Crikey!"?

Amanita: A superhero!

Brie: Yes, it is I, Interjection-Lady! When interjections are uttered, I arrive to save the—

Amanita: -tackles Brie-

Brie: Hey! A ver, eso fue una interjeccion, no? Necesito salvarme?

Amanita: -places Brie in a headlock- Now, the average superhero will most likely use their superior strength to escape this sort of predicament, so with any luck I will shortly be—

Brie: -tosses Amanita to the side-

Amanita: That's incredible! So amazingly strong, I reckon I was just tossed around like a ragdoll!

-Brie flies away-

Amanita: Ahaha, that was great.

-Ever, meanwhile, has slithered off to wreak some havoc-

edited 1st Apr '15 7:19:37 AM by memyselfandI2

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Petalburg Center

-Nadia yawns and stretches.-

Wait...why am I still human in the morning? And when did my human form gets so short?

-Morgi yawns.-

<Nadia, zat you? You sound diff...> -Opens her eyes.- <...rent.>

Morgi!Nadi: April 1st?

Nadi!Morgi: <April 1st.>

Somewhere

<Kaminari: More bodyswaps, and some form changes! A name has been played, and meanwhile we have a Animal Planet host and a superhero! FUN TIMES! Stay tuned!>

- ... And then, the Zoroark showed up! Oh no! -

Zoroark: (blasts the door of the candy house with a Night Daze attack, destroying it)

Grumpig: <Ah! He broke the door!>

Female Meowstic: (looks over at the Grumpig) <Why did you think building your house out of candy was a good idea, again?>

Zoroark: <Haha! Now I've finally caught you!> (grins) <And don't think about fighting back, because I've got the type advantage!>

Grumpig: <Darn!>

Linnéa: I... I don't know what's going on, but...

- Linnéa runs out in front of the Grumpig -

Zoroark: <Hmm?>

Linnéa: I-I won't let you hurt him!

Zoroark: (smirks) <Oh? Well, I suppose I'll just eat you first, then!>

- The Zoroark prepares to lunge, Linnéa looks frightened for a moment, but then her expression changes... -

Linnéa Ray: (giving the Zoroark a Death Glare) I won't let anyone hurt Linnéa.

- Ray manages to dodge the Zoroark's attack -

Zoroark: <Oh? You intend to fight me?>

Ray: (continues to glare at the Zoroark) ... I don't think we can beat this guy... Meowstic, open a path for us to escape!

Female Meowstic: (uses her powerful psychic powers to blast open a hole in one of the walls of the candy house) <Done.>

Grumpig: <Aww...>

- And so, our heroes tried to outrun the big bad Zoroark. However, the Zoroark was pretty fast, so if they didn't think up something quickly, they'd probably get eaten! I guess the Zoroark didn't like candy, because otherwise he could've eaten the candy house... or maybe he was saving it for dessert? I don't know. Anyways, where was I? Oh, yes! Suddenly, they came across a giant beanstalk! -

Ray: Huh? What is this doing here?

Grumpig: <Maybe we can escape the Zoroark if we climb this!>

Male Meowstic: (tilts head) <You know how to climb?>

Grumpig: (nods) <Sure!>

Female Meowstic: <I just hope the Zoroark doesn't know how to climb too...>

- Ray, the two Meowstic and the Grumpig begin climbing up the beanstalk -

Petalburg

-Robin is talking to Sam and Florence-

Robin: We need to breed you two together!

Florence: Wait, why?

Robin: So your offspring can have Galeforce!

-Sam and Florence happen to be their namesakes right now, meaning Florence is a humanoid wolf and Sam is an alien in an environment suit-

Sam: Er, I'm currently in a form that's sterile and would die after mating anyway?

Robin: I'LL FIND A WAY

Commentary Box

Gino: -is currently an RL cat with dragon wings- Ooh, Irwin Amanita seems fun, but Robin seems dead-set on his army, nyan. And Goggles is at it again, nyan! What do you think, Kami?

Contact Me!

Petalburg

-Amanita is still trying to tackle Brie to the ground, and the two are currently floating several feet up, Brie struggling to get away-

Brie: Stop this nonsense! I have situations into which I must interject myself! You see what I did there? That was a pun.

Amanita: A lot of the time, superheros will try and throw you off guard with their rapier wits! That's why I always bring earplugs when superhero-chasin'!

Brie: Ow!

Meanwhile

Skyfire: Okay, so our trainers have gone nuts.

Ares: Yep.

Salamence: Without the slightest shadow of a doubt.

Skyfire: So what do we do about it? We're not exactly much good like this.

-she attempts to flap her wings, but only succeeds in wiggling the long blue cape she's wearing-

Salamence: Yeah. -taps a shoe on the ground- At least I've got shoes though.

Ares: -has put an umbrella over his head to shield him from the sun- I am so very uncomfortable right now.

-meanwhile, a girl all in white and blue is huddled in the corner, curled in a ball, while a large woman in blue and wearing spikes, and a tall man in blue and red are attempting to coax her out-

Dinacia: Come on, dear, it's not that bad. And it should be over soon.

Spathi: It's not like we'd let something happen to you.

Ephemera: -hisses, and continues shuddering in her corner-

Spathi: ...She's not adjusting well.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Commentary Box

<Kaminari: Gino, old pal, I'd say that Robin may just get his army - the determination in his eyes is something FIERCE! And story time with Goggles is proceeding wonderfully - the derailment is interesting. THIS JUST IN! It appears that there are EVEN MORE SUPERHEROES about! Stay tuned, folks, this is just getting better and better.>

edited 1st Apr '15 7:36:21 AM by BluBeriPi

Petalburg

-Oblivious to the rest of the J-team's problems, there is a Skiploom, well, skipping around in the sunshine-

-Zeal is now a character who exists in this RP. He is with Ŝafo, Batali, and Glavo (Zeal X Glavo OTP). He may see another person's character.-

Zeal: Oh, look, it is another person's character. I shall interact with that other person's character.

"Even if everything has been predestined, will you not oppose it?"

Petalburg

-A fire boy turned Flareon is about. And a Luxio may be about.-

-Poof!-

Skitty!Crash:<...w...wha...?>

Commentary Box

<Kaminari: A multiplicity of Zeals makes for one weird day! Your thoughts, Gino?>

???

-Zeal finds himself in the hall of a great mansion. On the wall opposite him is a portrait of a woman in an elaborate dress. Beneath the portrait is an epitaph.-

Behold the sweetfish river running through my beloved hometown.
You who want to reach the Golden Land, follow its path downstream and seek the key.

If you go down the river, you will find a village.
In the village, search for the shore the two will tell you of.
There sleeps the key to the Golden Land.

The one who lays hand on the key will have to travel according to these rules.

On the first twilight, offer as sacrifice the six chosen by the key.
On the second twilight, those who remain shall tear apart the two who are close.
On the third twilight, those who remain shall praise my honorable name on high.
On the fourth twilight, gouge the head and kill.
On the fifth twilight, gouge the chest and kill.
On the sixth twilight, gouge the stomach and kill.
On the seventh twilight, gouge the knee and kill.
On the eighth twilight, gouge the leg and kill.
On the ninth twilight, the Witch shall be revived, and none shall be left alive.
On the tenth twilight, the journey shall end, and you shall reach the Capital of the Gold.

The Witch shall praise the wise, and bestow four treasures:

One shall be, all the gold of the Golden Land.
One shall be, the resurrection of the souls of all the dead.
One shall be, even the resurrection of the lost love.
One shall be, to make the Witch sleep for all eternity.

Sleep peacefully, my most beloved witch, Beatrice.

-Zeal turns around and sees a woman identical to the one in the portrait.-

Zeal: I take it you're the Golden Witch Beatrice.

-She nods then waves her pipe, and the two are suddenly in a garden of golden flowers.-

Beatrice: Forget the epitaph. This is a different sort of game from usual. I bear you no ill will.

-She smiles crookedly.-

Beatrice: Today's game will use some of the same rules as the games following the massacres on Rokkenjima. You're going to try to make sense of everything that's happened to you.

Zeal: I have no idea what you're talking about, but are you saying April Fools' Day is going to be helpful to me for once?!

-The witch cackles.-

Beatrice: Don't get too excited. No one is dying and no one is challenging my existence, but I am still your opponent. I won't go too easy on you.

-Zeal grins.-

Zeal: So what do I need to know?

Beatrice: When I speak the truth, I will use red.

Zeal: Huh?!

Beatrice: Everything I speak in red is the truth. There is no reason to doubt it.

-Zeal's grin widens.-

Zeal: Interesting... If this is going where I think it is, I can't wait!

-He slips on his Hazama outfit, minus the hat.-

Zeal: Bring it on, Golden Witch!

I'm done here.

Near Zeal

-Walven!Nico waltzes up to Zeal-

Walven!Nico: Hello there! Aren't I totally awesome and fabulous and heroic?

Commentary Box

Gino: Indeedy it does, nyan! And it just got weirder! Also Nico's getting used to his new body, nyan!

edited 1st Apr '15 7:57:25 AM by Umbramatic

Contact Me!

Zeal: Of course, after all, by saying that, you're implying that you're the hero of this story, which I shall take as true due to being new and not knowing enough about this RP. Besides, Steven and Wallace are both awesome, so their combination must be the greatest person to ever live!

Glavo: <He is definitely the hero.>

Ŝafo: <VERY HEROIC!>

-Batali nods.-

"Even if everything has been predestined, will you not oppose it?"

Commentary Box

<Kaminari: Goodness me, so he is! Let's see how this develops! Meanwhile, Zeal #1 is having difficulty separating player and character information! STAY TUNED, FOLKS!>

edited 1st Apr '15 7:55:29 AM by BluBeriPi

Iri Manor

Lucius: So... you're really Alyssa.

S!Alyssa: -munchmunchmunch- <Mmhmm.>

Lucius: Switched into Skye's body.

S!Alyssa: -munchmunch- <Mmhmm.>

Lucius: And now whatever eating disorder Skye has, it hasn't transferred to you and now you're eating more than any average human should.

S!Alyssa: -indignant munching- <Mmph!>

Lucius: Sorry, sorry.

Petalburg

Float: <Oh, Hey Cra->

-Poof? I think you mean *poof*-

<Skitty~!>

-The skiploom skipilly pounces the now skitty Crash as Blitz wanders off, sniffling slightly after his recent sneeze-

edited 1st Apr '15 7:56:29 AM by BlitzTrain

Petalburg

-Skitty!Crash is pounced and rollrolls.-

Skitty!Crash:<Mya!> >_<

<Hi...Float...what happened?!>

Near Zeal(?)

Walven!Nico: Thank you for all the attention! Yes, bask in my glor-

-is suddenly Steven in Wallace's ORAS clothing-

Stellace!Nico: What the?! AGH! I FEEL SO EXPOSED

-Runs off-

Contact Me!

Petalburg

-Float clings to the Skitty as they roll-

Float: <You make a super cute skitty, Crash! How'd you do that?>

^_^

edited 1st Apr '15 8:06:53 AM by BlitzTrain