The Continuing Antics of Konata Izumi

The Logic Barrier

By Edmond Dantes

—-

Once, quite by chance, Edmond and Konata were walking the street. It was a full moon night, but the clouds had hidden the moon for awhile now.

Konata sighed.

"What's up?" Edmond asked.

"I've been thinking, Edmond. Do you remember that thing those guys on the internet said?" Konata was referring to a guy who had told her off for believing that her mother still existed as a spirit, citing that there was a lack of evidence that spirits even existed.

"What about it?"

"Well, I was just thinking. What if they're right? What if ghosts and spirits really are just an old superstition that we should outgrow, now that we're in the age of reason?"

Edmond's immediate answer was to put his hand behind his back and say "Konata, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"I don't know. I can't see your hand."

"Exactly," Edmond said.

They walked on for a little bit, then Konata admitted "Okay, I admit it: I don't understand what you mean, at all."

Edmond looked confused for a moment until he suddenly remembered what they had been talking about (being a flake happens to even the best of us) and added "You were saying you believed some internet nerd because he sounded 'rational'. I just demonstrated one of the dirty little secrets of rational thought—it kinda breaks down when there are unknowns. There's an extension to that: A lot of people fill in those unknowns by making stuff up. You could've, for example, said I was holding up three fingers and then accused me of cheating if I wasn't. And you'd never be able to find out if you were right or not."

"Yeah, but I knew your hand was there. I don't know about my mother's ghost."

"Your dad once took a ghost photo, right?"

"I brought that up. They said it could've just been a malfunction."

"With an expensive, high-quality camera?" Edmond pointed out.

"Even the best machines have problems."

"Did it ever malfunction before that time?"

"No."

"Afterwards?"

"...No."

Edmond smiled, "Then it seems to me like you've got more evidence than those guys at 2chan ever did! Oh look, the moon's coming out!"

Konata looked up. Yep, the moon was showing through the clouds all right.

Edmond asked "You know why the moon is coming out?"

"Because there's a gap in the clouds?"

"Because the sky is trying to say I'm right."

Konata smiled and decided not to argue with that type of logic.

End Story

Edmond?

This is no longer funny.

Actually I doubt if it ever was at all.

This isn't gonna be like the IJAM stories. Give it awhile and see where it goes before pouring on the criticism.

edited 21st Jan '11 11:56:37 PM by MoeDantes

\*walks into thread* Knew it before I even clicked it. *promptly walks out of thread*

I shall hold my breath in great hope and expectation.

Don't let me down, son.

I have no idea what you guys are talking about up there.

edited 22nd Jan '11 8:09:46 AM by Dealan

^ Edmond/Moe Likes to write Konata shipping fics and then advertise the entire story here rather than link us to it.

edited 22nd Jan '11 11:04:03 AM by Vorpy

Locking per request.

I recommend the OP reread the About the Forums page. [1]

Edit to add: Unlocking per request. If the OP is looking for feedback to their work it would be a good idea to state that.

edited 22nd Jan '11 2:15:21 PM by blackcat

I've posted stories here in the past with no request for feedback and nothing came of it. This is the first I've heard of a "you must require feedback" rule.

But to comply: To all the people who found my older stories "creepy," what if I said there's going to be minimal/no romance in this version?

Anyway:

The Logic Barrier, part Ni

by Edmond Dantes

Konata told her problem to Kagami, and then told her what Edmond said. They were at a restaurant and Edmond happened to be with them, sitting next to Miyuki and discussing the practical applications of a light-wave sword, when Kagami said "Edmond obviously wasn't serious. What rational person could believe in ghosts in this day and age?"

"A very rational person!" Edmond answered, hearing Kagami.

Kagami looked at Edmond, wondering how to approach the problem. If this was Konata, she'd just say Konata was being unrealistic and wishy-washy, but Edmond wasn't like that.

Kagami finally said "Okay, so your premise is that because we can't for a fact rule out that ghosts exist, they might exist. Correct?"

"Yep," Edmond confirmed. "Seems logical."

"And yet, every supposed ghost sighting in history has had a plausible explanation, and in more recent cases we can even confirm those explanations first-hand. So it seems more likely that ghosts do not exist."

"Well that's the thing, it seems more likely. But plausibility is not truth. Just look at a good lie: It works by constructing an explanation that seems plausible. The only way to tell a lie from the truth is either have the facts beforehand, or else listen to your feelings."

"Okay, now you're sounding a little—"

"Yeah, I know, but I've noticed they're right nine times out of ten. How many times have I known something was a mistake before I did it, and when I did it anyway nothing good came of it? Humans suffer because they don't listen to this part of themselves."

Miyuki replied, "I had an experience like that, one time when I felt that getting on the train was a very bad idea."

Kagami, Konata, and Edmond all looked at Miyuki. Konata asked "And what happened?"

"It turned out a part of the train's electrical circuitry was damaged, and we stopped in the center of the track. I was there for three hours until the rescue team arrived."

"There you go," Edmond said.

When Kagami got home, after doing her homework she logged onto the internet and thought about this conversation.

She then posted a topic about it and asked "So, guys, what would you have said?"

...This is that topic, guys. So, what should Kagami have said?

(Keep in mind that Kagami doesn't want to alienate anyone, so nothing inflammatory)

To Be Continued

wow, there is a sizable hatedom for your works, Edmond.

Good job continuing with your writing despite that. I can can definitely see marked improvements!

Thanks!

The Logic Barrier, part San

(by now I imagine you all know who the author is)

Kagami couldn't think of anything, and her post got no responses.

It turned out to ultimately not matter, because she and Edmond both moved on to a different subject. At lunch at school, she noticed Edmond seemed troubled over something as he played a game of Paper-Scissor-Rock with Konata, multiple times.

Edmond sighed, and Kagami asked what's up.

"Little bit of self-disappointment, is all." Edmond said.

"Over what?"

"When I was twelve I used to know a technique to always win paper-scissor-rock."

Kagami blinked, impressed with the claim. "And what was the technique?"

"It was actually kind of cheating," Edmond explained, "But basically what you do is you choose your object a split-second after the challenger reveals there's. So really what's happening is you're seeing what they chose and then choosing whatever beats it so fast that, to them, it looks like you both opened your hands at the same time."

"That... sounds impossible."

"Well, when I was twelve, I could do it. You understand: twelve-year-olds decide a lot of things based on paper-scissor-rock. It kept me out of a lot of trouble."

Edmond sighed a despondent sigh. "But it seems like its one of those skills I lost as I got older."

"Maybe you're just out of practice," Kagami suggested.

Edmond shrugged. "But you know, sometimes I think age has something to do with it. Like the world literally changes to fit our perception."

Kagami giggled. A part of her was already quoting Sam Beckett: "Oh boy..."

"For instance," Edmond said, "Another thing I used to always win was the coin flip."

"How?"

"Well, as a kid, I had this belief that the coin would always land on the side opposite of what it launched as. So if it was heads-up when you flipped it, it would land twelve, and vice-versa."

"Could be coincidence."

"Could be. But once flipped a coin 1000 times in a row, and kept a record, and this pattern held, except for when I would drop the coin or apply one of those stupid house rules."

"Like what?"

Edmond pulled out a coin to demonstrate. "When I flip a coin, I do this." Edmond flipped it and caught it. "But there were some people who did this," Edmond flipped it, caught it then put it on the back of his other hand. "Actually, it was when I met people who did the back-of-the-hand thing that the technique stopped working. I think because it shook my confidence. You never knew what rule a coin-flipper was going to apply."

Konata hmmmed, and then said "So basically, if you believe in something hard enough, that makes it real?"

"Konata," Kagami started, but then Edmond sighed.

"Actually, I think its more complicated than that," Edmond said. "See, reality is divided into three stages, I think: The definitely true, the possibly true, and dreams. Definitely True is the food right in front of us. Possibly True is the ghost of your mom. I think you know what a Dream is. Anyway, I sometimes think the things that are Possibly True have the ability to become Definitely True, but only for a short time. I'm not sure what makes them change states."

"Oh, that's easy." Konata answered, biting into her chocolate cornet.

"What?"

"Haruhi's emotional state!"

Kagami giggled a bit. Edmond smiled, but didn't think the joke was especially funny.

Kagami then said "Hey Edmond, what do you think of those Chi Bracelets they sell on TV?"

"Eh? Those are frauds."

"Really? I'd expect you to at least say 'try them and see if they work'."

"Well, the thing is, if there really were magical objects in the world, they'd be one-of-a-kind, not something you could mass produce."

"Like in an RPG?" Konata asked.

"Yes, Konata, like in an RPG." Edmond answered.

Konata looked at Kagami, then back at Edmond and said "You know, I think you've had a positive effect on Kagami. She never talks this long about unrealistic stuff!"

Kagami was quick to cover herself. "It's-its not like I believe in it or anything!"

Edmond then asked "Say Kagami, wanna play a few rounds of rock-paper-scissor?"

"...Sure."

And they played rounds until the next class period.

To be continued.

Question: Is this the Edmond Dantes from The Count Of Monte Cristo? For if so, this defiles canon so badly I don't know whether I should laugh or weep.

Eh, no. It's a self insert.

I can't relate to the Edmond character, he seems to be written flatly and feels like a talking post more than a character. You need to add depth to him and flesh out some characteristics for him.

Okay, I'll see what I can do towards fixing him and making him less of a blatant mouthpiece/self-insert.

I also just noticed that this is called "The Continuing Antics of Konata Izumi" and yet so far she's played second fiddle to Kagami and Edmond. Let's fix that...

The Logic Barrier, part Yon

Edmond never did figure out his Rock-Paper-Scissors technique, but ironically Konata did.

It was after school, and she happened to run into Misao who was challenging Kagami to a game in return for some favor or other (probably who got certain after-school duties), when Konata stepped up and said "I'll take you up on it."

Misao apparently didn't care who she challenged, so she took Konata up on it. But before the first go, Konata asked up-front (knowing Misao was the type to make up new rules if she lost) "Is this best two-out-of-three?"

"Ummm... yeah!"

"Remember, you said that in front of witnesses."

Misao urked, but then recovered and said "Right, let's do this!"

The first time, Konata picked rock and Misao picked Scissors.

Then, as they were rearing for a second go, Konata suddenly had a thought and stopped in mid-motion, her eyes on Misao's hand. The new thought had emerged so suddenly that she for a second forgot about the game. Misao didn't realize this, and thought Konata's untightened fist was Rock. Misao had, of course, picked paper, figuring Konata would pick the same thing twice.

"One more go!" Misao said. "You ready?"

Konata hmmmed, and then said "Yeah, sure!"

And through the motions, Konata kept her eyes on Misao's hand. One... two... three!

Both chose paper.

To Konata, it was something else. She had, in fact, seen what Misao was going to make and made something in response... or was it a fluke? Since it was a tie, they had to go again.

One, two, three... both chose scissors.

Agan, Konata thought she might've seen Misao's hand for a split-second before making her own choice, but she couldn't rule out the possibiity of coincidence either.

The next time, both chose paper again, then rock.

"Ugh!" Misao said. "Okay, new rule! If we're in a tie again, you lose! Got it?"

"That's not fair!" Kagami said, but then Konata said "No, wait! I accept!" Misao, for her part, was sweating profusely at the prospect of losing, and having to take on whatever responsibility they were competing for.

And so the final match of the day was declared. The sun beat down on them. A tumbleweed rolled across. Nobody ever figured out what a tumbleweed was doing in Japan.

"Aw right, city slicker!" Misao said in a Texan drawl. "It's just you and me now!"

"Think you're the fastest draw in the west?" Konata answered, tipping her ten-gallon hat towards the sun.

"Reckon I am!"

"Then draw!"

Misao's choice: Paper.

Konata's: Scissors!

Misao fell to the ground, physically wounded. "Ya got me, pardner..."

Kagami laughed. "Okay you two, come off it. It looks like you lost fair and square, Misao."

Misao began to argue, but then Kagami said "Now now, there are witnesses. You heard her promises, right Minegishi?"

Ayano nodded. "Come on, I'll help."

"Th-thanks..."

At that moment Edmond came up, and said "Hey, Konata! Ready to hit up Gamers?"

But then Misao's eyes brightened, and said "Oh, why'd you wanna go there with someone like her?" Misao grabbed Edmond's arm, causing him to make a very audible eep! "Wouldn't you rather go with someone like me?"

Edmond stammered out "K-k-k-Konata! Why is there a guy in a skirt and why is he coming onto me?"

...

Misao was instantly crying to Ayano. Edmond stammered out apologies. Kagami whispered to Konata "Let's say we leave him to work out this mess?"

And so Kagami and Konata went on their way.

Possibly to be Continued.

But... but... Edmond Dantes...

... Do not compute.

Please clarify?

I think that troper is just a member of your Hatedom who dislikes the fact you can make a self insert be likable.

I see little reason why the other Tropers have to hate on this. I quite enjoyed reading these quirky shorts — keep writing!

If he's a diehard Monte Cristo fan I see no reason why he wouldn't be somewhat shocked at Edmond Dantes playing with high school girls. Edmond Dantes breaks out of prisons when you've falsely accused him of conspiracy and gains massive fortunes. Edmond Dantes will kick your ass in a fencing duel. Edmond Dantes is one individual you do not want to cross.

Note that I have not actually read the Count of Monte Cristo (I should), but my grandfather and father both being fans, I know about it.

To elaborate:

I do not exactly mind Self-Insert Fic, and actually believe that it, like anything else, can be done right. The issue here is, out of all the names to choose, you used Edmond Dantes, a classical antihero that has absolutely nothing to do with Konata Izumi? That alone kinda sorta turned me off.

No offense though. Any other name, and I might have enjoyed this work.

oh, I did not know that.

I gotta admit I chose the name "Edmond Dantes" for possibly the laziest reason out there: because I thought it was a Cool Name.

Besides the name, This Edmond has one thing in common with the literary one. I never really brought it up because it brings him right into Wish-Fulfillment territory (though it could probably be inferred through his owning a lot of expensive Japanese collectibles), but this story's Edmond also came into wealth through a stroke of luck. I can strike that from the canon though if you guys think that veers too much into Mary Sue territory.

Kinda having a dash of writer's block right now. This story was originally going to be an Author Tract about rationalism, but I think Konata having found the Game-Breaker of Paper-Scissor-Rock is far better a premise and I'm trying to think of where to go with that (I'm also working on a horror/mystery story at the moment that has nothing to do with Lucky Star and that's taking up some of my attention. I'm heavily considering posting that here and asking for opinions).

edited 25th Jan '11 2:15:51 AM by MoeDantes

And another thing that might draw eyebrow is the presence of a foreigner in a Japanese (read: A country that has a tradition of low tolerance to foreigners - I might be wrong about what this is like in modern times though) high school environment as one of them without some incredibly convoluted scheme.

This issue has plagued me when I try to plug a Polish Szlachta into a Japanese high school setting for long enough to gain a harem. There is no easy solution to that.

All of this could be avoided if you had chosen another name.

The actual anime/manga has Patricia Martin, so there's precedent for foreigners in a high school environment.