Let's jam with Body Slam!
A Beat 'em Up
made by Animation Magic for the Philips CD-i
The year is 2068. Things have changed. The Millenium Wars
ruined the World's cities. The Great Tremor Plague
of 2017 reduced the population by a third
. Radiation from the Thanatos Meltdown radically altered the gene pool. Technology advanced. Bioengineers have created Animal-Human hybrids
. Athletes are commonly enhanced with bionics
. The Cybernet, a fiber-optic communication network links everything. The rage of the Cybernet is Body Slam
The story begin as a team unusually composed of pure-breed humans called the “Naturals” join the popular show Body Slam
, hosted by Air J. Wolfjam. This doesn't please current champion Hectro-Genocide, who vows to defeat the Naturals to prove his belief that humans are obsolete. The story is presented by interviews conducted by Wolfjam with Hectro-Genocide and the other teams between each fight.
Made by the same animators as I. M. Meen
and the first two CD-i Legend of Zelda
games, it features the same brand
of deranged animated cutscenes and terrible acting, along with obnoxiously repetitive dialogue and ridiculous racial stereotypes.
This game provide examples of:
- After the End
- Animation Bump: The part of the intro where Airwolf introduce the Naturals is actually quite good, especially in comparison of the rest of Animation Magic's output.
- Artistic License - Biology: Apparently, the melting down of the gene pool means humans can suddenly give birth to pterodactyls.
- Beat 'em Up
- Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Sort of. The one female member of the Naturals merely has a couple of teeth knocked out at the end of the game, as opposed to the two male members, who both have black eyes and are clearly bleeding.
- Broken Record: Hectro-Genocide, you'd think his opinion on the Naturals would change.
- Captain Obvious: The unfortunate doctor in the intro.
IT'S A MUTANT!
- Cat Girl: Tina Felina, one of the bosses.
- Deadly Game: The "game" in question being urban gang-warfare.
- Deranged Animation
- Face Palm: Airwolf does this whenever one of the mutant team members is defeated.
- Fantastic Racism: The mutants hate humans.
Masher Komodo: Humans, we love to hurt them!
- Full Motion Video
- Gay Paree: One of the locations you fight in.
- Idiosyncratic Difficulty Levels: Easy is “Wimpy”, medium is “Savage” and hard is “Insane”.
- Mirror Boss: One of the enemies in the Beijing level copies your character during the boss battle.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Air J. Wolfjam is a furry caricature of the late Wolfman Jack.
- No Indoor Voice: HECTRO-GENOCIDE.
- No Transhumanism Allowed
- Off Model: Airwolf looks like a hunchbacked old-man in some of the cutscenes.
- Old Shame: Maddie Blaustein (credited as “Adam Blaustein”) apparently got her start on this.
- Production Throwback: One of the generic enemy type is called "Impa".
- Proud Warrior Race Guys: The Streets Sharks:
Budo Shinkage: The other teams, Mister Jam... lack the will to destroy. For us, it is a matter of honor... and enjoyment!
- Scenery Gorn
- Signature Line: THE KOMODOS WEAR SISSY PANTS! or THE NATURALS MUST BE USING SOME KIND OF GUN!
- Stock Footage: The same two bits of animation for both Airwolf and Hectro-Genocide are endlessly reused.
- Strictly Formula: Never mind the animation, the dialogue itself seems to have been written by a mad-lib program.
Airwolf: Ooh-wee! The Naturals left the [defeated team] in the [x]! What's your hit on these Naturals?
[Defeated team] are [x], Airwolf! Wait until the Naturals fight somebody [y]!
Hectro-Genocide: Cheaters, Airwolf! The [x] must be [y]! There is NO WAY [x] can be [y]!
- Technology Marches On: The ominous explanation of the advent of the Cybernet alongside such future horrors as plague, mass mutations and bioengineering sounds rather dated now that the Internet is so ubiquitous in real life.
- Verbal Tic: OOH-WEE!
- X Meets Y: Best described as Madworld meets Mutation Nation meets Zelda: The Faces of Evil/Wand of Gamelon. On drugs.
- YouTube Poop: A source of it.