Tearjerker / Shadows Over Hell

The official Tear Jerker entry for the fanfic.

Chapter 3 - Culture Vultures

• Chapter 3 is chockfull of these, as word spreads quickly of the playdate between Blitzo & Loona and Stolas & Octavia.
  • To start with, the chapter opens with Stella showing the article to Stolas and berating him for his narrow-mindedness and lack of discretion, making the family look bad in front of all of Hell. Stolas, struggles to form any kind of defense or response, and is forced to take the brunt of it.
  • Loona does not react well, to being portrayed like an idiot in a gossip mag. Out of a moment of blind rage, she takes it out on Blitzo.
  • The ridiculing article on him & Loona, on top of his daughter blaming him for the ordeal, utterly wrecks Blitzo's already low self confidence, causing him to harshly lash out against his employees, even as they try to help him. What's worse, it forces him & Stolas to cancel their planned dinner date, ruining a chance for them to grow closer.
  • Stella even gets a moment here, during her scene with Octavia. She tells her about the magazine, venting out her frustrations over the ordeal. When he daughter attempts to comfort her, Stella considers reaching out, but ultimately refuses and asks Octavia to leave, not wanting to appear weak in front of her. Once she's gone, Stella breaks down crying.

Chapter 4 - Out on The Town

• After being thrown out of a cafe and picked on by a rich couple in Chapter 4, Loona ends up breaking down in front of Octavia, revealing just how hard and miserable she has it, having to deal with racism and prejudice nearly her whole life. It's a near show of vulnerability from the hellhound, that we haven't never really gotten to see from her yet.

Chapter 7 - Fireflies

• Chapter 7, has a bitter moment between Stolas and Blitzo. After another night of passion, the two of them have a small talk together. From Stolas' thoughts it's clear he wants to be more to Blitzo than he is, but keeps his thoughts hidden so as to no jeopardise their relationship. This ends up screwing him over, as the words he does end up choosing, make Blitzo feel impersonal to him, causing the imps to further push him away.

Chapter 8 - Contracts and Conversations

• Chapter 8, is nearly one big Stolitz tearjerker. After feeling embarrassed during the prince's attempts to confront Warden Rufus, Blitzo storms out and does his best to ignore Stolas attempts at helping him. Finally he lashes out at the prince, revealing just how he feels more like a sex objects under the prince's care and less like an actual lover or friend. Stolas' attempts to apologize and his pleas that it is not the case, make it even harder to read through. It's is a sad but bittersweet moment, as the two finally confess how each other feels, and promise to do better from then on.

Chapter 10 - Going on Tour

• Chapter 10 is very heavily focused on Blitzo's past relationship with Verosika. And while it mostly leads to some biting insults and petty behavior, the chapter does not shy away from touching on their messy history and how the two feel about each other post break up. While Blitzo constantly insults her, he has moments of regret. He briefly considers apologizing for taking her parking space, before doubling down. Verosika in particular, seems to be hiding her grief behind resentment and insults, lying about what a terrible partner he was. Her shock at how far Blitzo's willing to go for Loona, is very telling of her real feelings towards her ex.

Chapter 11 - Temp Work

• Octavia's first real taste of action in here, in which she almost shot Moxxie, leaves the princess shellshocked and barely able to stand up. From the way it's described, it's very clear Via's just a hair away from breaking down and would've probably done so, had Moxxie & Millie not been there to comfort and help her through it.
• Throughout the Chapter, Octavia has been struggling to understand Blitzo and finally asks her dad what she sees in the imp, and why he jeopardized his marriage for him. The prince struggled to explain, but manages to tell her that the imp makes him happy, the same way Loona makes Octavia happy (though their relationship is strictly platonic). Given that Loona is the first real friend Octavia has made in a while, it paints a bleak, miserable portrait of what the prince's relationship with Stella was like for him. Similarly, Octavia seems desperate to want a return of how things used to be, before Blitzo came and feels conflicted at their relationship; as while Stolas and her are happier, it's making Stella more colder and distant from her family. The chapter ends on a bit of a happy note, though it's clear there's still plenty of issues that need to be worked out later on.

Chapter 13 - Moonlight in the Gardens

• Chapter 13, gives us a big, ugly look into Octavia's home life and her tense relationship with her mother. After being forced to keep up appearances of being a sophisticated, idealized Goetian princes at a Fancy Dinner with some other higher-ranked demons, Stella learns about Octavia continuing to spend time with Loona. Stella is furious at her daughter for being friends with a lower class demon, with Octavia barely able to get a word in, and this soon develops into a screaming fight between Stella & Stolas, where names are called and dishes are thrown. Octavia tries to ignore the fight by retreating into her room, drowning out the screams with loud music and falling asleep, but this ultimately fails. She calls Loona to help carry her away, and once both are outside, Octavia breaks down into ugly tears in front of the hellhound. It is devastating seeing Octavia in tears like this, knowing she has gone through these fights so often. We get an unpleasant look at her emotional turmoil and hopelessness at such a complicated situation, and it can be hard to read through. All she wants is for things to go back to the way they were, but knows that's impossible. And it's hard for her to accept.
• Later on in the chapter, she vents out her complicated feelings regarding her parents & home life to Loona, is also rather sad. Loona briefly considers ending their friendship, as she doesn't want Octavia to have to suffer so much, just by associating with her. Octavia reveals that as much as she hates the way her mother treats her sometimes, she can't bring herself to hate Stella, as she's still her mom and has compassion towards her despite her absusive tendencies. It's not hard to imagine it's the same way a lot of children of abusive parents feel towards their elders, despite how much they can go through.
• When Octavia mentions her classmate Slaanesh, she mentions she has a hellhound who often accompanies her. The fact she refers them as hellhound rather than name, is noted to be mildly offensive to Loona. She's forced to let it slide for now, but it's clear she isn't happy about it. It seems that, for as close as the two are, Octavia still has some mild bigoted views towards the hellhound species, that she might not be fully aware of. Wether or not this might impact their friendship in the future, we'll have to wait and see.

Chapter 14 - Daylight in the Gardens

• The melancholy opening, dealing with the aftermath of Stolas & Stella's big fight was very bittersweet. Both of them seem shaken and regretful over what they've said, but Stella doesn't seem quite ready to fully address the big problems behind their rocky marriage. She does finally give Stolas & Octavia a small peace offering, after her husband finds an old, handmade mug Octavia made her as a child, but there's still much work to be done between them, with neither fully ready to address it.
• Speaking of Stella, the chapter also gives us a further look into her mind, and the high standards she puts on herself and her family. She scolds herself, for something as little as sleeping in 30 thirty extra minutes. It's clear it's starting to wain on the swan, but she's too proud and worried about her family's reputation to let them go, insisting on keeping to her traditions, despite how much it's hurting her and her family. After her blowup in the previous chapter, it's an effective sympathetic look into Stella, that while not fully excusing her, can make us understand why she's so obsessed most of the time.

Chapter 15 - Going to the Dogs

• While the Chapter is mostly full of fluff and heartwarming moments, it can be very bittersweet seeing Octavia break into Tears of Joy, over find a group of friends who not only care about her but fully support her being as crude, relaxed and unladylike as possible. It further goes to show just how lonely Octavia has been up to that point and the toll of being a perfect princess in the eyes of her mother and the rest of society, has taken on the teenager.
• When Stella finds out about Octavia going to a bonfire with Loona, she sends her daughter that leaves her taken aback. No screaming or judgement, just a simple seven worded message saying: "Have Fun. Be Safe. I love You."

Chapter 16 - Growing Pains

• Loona and Octavia have their first fight, when the hellhound learns she can't attend her friends birthday. After seeing them getting so well along, it sucks seeing them act so bitter towards each other, especially since both of them are equally upset about the ordeal. Loona is especially so, with her inferiority complex and years of being treated like an animal, cause her to vent out on not only Octavia, accusing her friend of seeing her as a dog rather than a friend, but also on her coworkers, reverting back to her pre-story mode, drinking at work, getting snappy at M&M and even trying to sabotage Blitzo's date with Stolas. It's hard not to feel bad for her, despite her attitude, as she briefly feels betrayed by her closest friend.
• We also us some surprisingly feelsy moments with Stella. Even despite all her bigotry and perfectionism, her attempting and failing to make up with Octavia, and her lamenting how much their relationship has fallen apart, can be pretty hard to read through.

Chapter 17 - Birthday

• The reunion/apology between Loona and Octavia after their bitter fight last chapter, regarding the former being unable to attend the latter's birthday. It starts out well enough at first, if perhaps a bit awkward, but quickly develops into a heart-wrenching scene of Octavia tearfully apologizing to Loona for not trying hard enough to stand up against mother, believing herself a shitty friend and a coward. And while Loona is mostly over it by now and we know there was little Octavia could do, it's still painful to see Octavia so emotionally vulnerable and self-loathful of herself, as she breaks down over how much Loona means to her and how devastating it was that she couldn't be there for her. Luckily, Loona accepts her apology and is quick to reassure Octavia, that she shouldn't think so low of herself. Even after everything, is so sweet to see, she's still so caring towards her friend.
• It's here that we also learn some more about Loona's backstory, and as expected it was anything but happy. She was abandoned on the streets by her mother, while she was still too young to even remember what she looked like; only how she smelled and her shape. From there she spent most of her years on the streets, before getting caught and ending up at an crappy orphanage, where she would spend most of her life in and out of homes. She finally met Blitzo, when she tried to steal the wheels of his van, who was the first to show her any real kindness. But by then not only was she so distrusting that she left him the morning after, but she was involved with a rough crowd that got her hooked on various drugs. It wasn't until she was adopted by Blitzo, who later helped her kick off most of her addictions, that she finally started recovering. With a past like, it's no wonder that she's often so cold towards others.

Chapter 20 - A Charming Family Dinner

• First of all, we have Octavia slapping her mother and screaming at her about how much she hates how she's treated her and how she's doing all she can to ruin her friendship with Loona. It's cathartic no doubt, but just the way how naturally and easily Via's words and frustrations come flying out her mouth, makes it extremely bittersweet to watch. Like Octavia's had all this pent up emotions building up inside her, long before she even met Loona, and now they're finally breaking out in a messy, tired rant.
• Stella's reaction is also incredibly bitter. At first, it seems to start out as another screaming throwing fit between Stolas and Stella…until, she finally calms down and breaks into tears, her daughter's word leaving her an utter wreck. The fact that she, the usually in control and emotionless Stella, does so in front of Stolas, with her describing herself as a flithy plebeian for doing so, also goes to show how much she's been hiding her true feelings. That she too has had these feeling building up inside her, refusing to let them out, out of fear of how she might be seen. This would be the first time she's been publicly sad, realizing how her behavior has effected her daughter and you feel bad for her.
• During their talk together, Stolas reveals he knew about Stella's abusive parents, and the equally abusing tutors they would assign her. Having meet Svetlana Goetia in a previous chapter, it's clear some of their parentage methods and teachings have robbed off on her, wether she realized it or not. It not only does it give us some bitter insight into how she became so bitter over the years, it's sad to see her swear to never be like them, and have this finally make her realize what she's doing to Octavia.
• After the two finally have a nice, peaceful conversation, promising each other to be better for Octavia's sake, Stella asks Stolas if he's still going to see Blitzo. He says yes, much to her disappointment, saying that he's makes him happier than he's felt in a long time. And even though Stella doesn't react as poorly as usual, you can still tell this is hurting her, as she did have feelings for him and feels like she didn't matter to him, as much as Blitzo. Even after they both accept this and agree to just be friends, it's clear she's broken up by this.

Chapter 21 - Mending Fencing

• It's here that we learn why Octavia loves Taxidermy. When she was a child, she would play and feed a Phoenix that lived near Stolas' garden. Eventually, she bird passed away when she was 12, and not wanting to lose her friend, she stuffed him to the best of her abilities; later doing the same to its mate and eventually making it into a hobby. It makes her odd hobby into something much more personal and relatable to anyone who's ever lost a pet. The fact that she gives each of her pieces a name and story further adds to how much this means to her.

Chapter 23 - An Exercise in Desecration

• The ending. Everyone returns to Hell utterly wrecked and near death's door; Millie especially come close to dying after being shot from behind, by a surviving cult member. And when they return, everyone blames Blitzo and for good reason. Moxxie nearly goes through with killing his boss right there, Millie while talking her husband out of it shows she's very upset with Blitzo over the ordeal and Loona breaks down in front of her dad, scolding him for his carelessness. It's clear everyone's faith in Blitzo has been rocked, and it's clear that a lot of building will need to be done, if they're ever going to forgive him. It's a bittersweet note to end the chapter on, leaving I.M.P.'s future possibly shaken.
• Then there's Blitzo's reaction to it all, as he has to see just what his recklessness, greed and selfishness has done to the team. Even after everything he's put his team through, on a level you can feel bad for the imp as he did his best to make sure they wouldn't get hurt, and only agreed to it under threat and for everyone's financial benefit. But, even he realizes it's a poor justification and he's left a regretful mess with shaken relationships, breaking down into tears. When Moxxie demands his boss give him something to justify what they've been through, Blitzo doesn't answer, because he knows he can't give him anything. His slow meltdown as he does his best to treat Loona, seeing the injuries she recived because of him, before finally breaking down in front of her, admitting to be a selfish asshole leaves the chapter ending on a big downer note.
• Blitzo briefly considering letting Moxxie kill him, by telling him about the spare ammo nearby, is also quite depressing, fully showing just how guilty he feels and how willing he is to let himself die. It's probably the closet he has come to letting himself die, and our first show of his self loathing in a while, showing that even with his business doing better and a much improved relationship with Loona & Stolas, Blitzo still hasn't overcome his hatred of himself.

Chapter 24 - Personal Loyalties

• Picking up directly from where the last one left off, addressing the trauma and issues I.M.P. are going through after their last mission. Of the four of them Moxxie & Blitzo have it the worst. Moxxie, having nearly lost Millie on this mission, is left very disillusioned and furious at his boss, for this and his past behavior, causing him to nearly consider quiting and leaving the company behind for good. Blitzo meanwhile, is reluctant to call Moxxie or make amends, blaming himself for the whole ordeal and would've probably killed himself had Stolas not intervened. The latter especially is rough, as we're giving a rough look into her mind and just how badly his guilt & self-loathing is pushing him.
• Their later talk when it's just the two of them, gives us plenty more of these moments; including Blitzo admitting to pushing them to hard and how much he resents being looked down upon just for being an imp, Moxxie revealing that he's unsure he can trust his boss anymore, calling him out for his behavior through the years. It's painful, but a necessary talk, both need to finally move on and try and improve their relationship.

Chapter 25 - The Uproar and 26 - Pandemonium

• Octavia has several breakdown during her journey to her parents' place, and each one makes you really feel for the girl. After having already been through much and just seen a little violence in her life, this poor princess is now forced to witness several displays of death, madness, murder and horror, even participate in a few. While everyone in her group is equally exhausted and traumatized by it all, it's clear that this is affecting Via, especially having already gone through plenty of hardships in her life. Even when she finally returns to her father's home, she is absolutely shaken and close to breaking down every second. Considering up until then, the most action she experienced was the monster coming through the portal during her internship, it's a miracle she hasn't been completely broken down after all of this.
  • We explore more of her trauma from this in the later chapters, in particular 29, where she becomes focused on her political work and refuses to open up about her trauma and true mental state to anyone, even her own mother. It takes Loona, having to drag out a rise out of her, causing her to furiously shout at the hellhound, before finally breaking down and revealing just how shaken and horrified she is, from having to be forced to witness and live through so much in a single day. Even with Loona's help and comfort, these experiences might never truly go away. The only big comfort she has right now, is Loona's assurance that she wasn't the only one shaken by this and that Loona and her friends will help her deal with this however they can.

Chapter 29 - Life Among the Ruins

• In chapter 29, we finally see Rufus brought to a vulnerable, self-loathing state, when he discovers Polaris dead…having been killed by him, after he unknowingly shot her during his crusade towards Stolas' with I.M.P. The usually gold and stone faced sinner, is rocked with guilt and horror of his actions, and things don't improve, when he goes to deliver the news to her sister and his close friend Andromeda. The hellhound is devastated and furious, blaming the Warden for her death, rejecting his apologizes, demanding that he leave and never show his face to her again; her boyfriend Vortex forced to agree. For once in a long time, we see the normally calm and in control Rufus so devastated, vulnerable and wrecked with guilt, that he almost neglects his date with Yoshimo, instead going to drown his sorrows, and breaks down in front of her, cursing himself for not being good enough.

Chapter 30 - The Taking of Octavia Goetia

• We find out in Chapter 30, that while their apartment was raided, someone found Blitzo's secret vault and stole all the money they had earned from the traumatic Canada mission. Meaning they went through all of that, have nothing to show for it. As if that wasn't bad enough; apparently she and Blitzo still have to pay rent for their home and business…and with their bank having gone up during the chaos, they only have enough for one month. The whole situation is enough to nearly cause Loona to break into tears, at the blatant, cruel unfairness of it all. By the end, you just wanna give the poor girl a hug.
• We also learn that they held a funeral for Polaris offscreen, with Stolas donated a some of his earth and plants for the burial cite; showing us some more clues of how Loona and Octavia were affected by the devastating news. Andromeda is still struggling to recover from the loss, rely on her pack for support.

Chapter 31 - Precipice

• Stolas goes to check on Octavia, before leaving to a meeting of the Wardens & ruling class of Hell. At first it seems that she's simply sleeping, but when he goes to see her again upon returning, he finds her motionless, having been apparently killed by her nightmare demon. It is every bit as devastating as you can imagine, with Stolas desperately trying to bring her back, bringing her to a hospital demanding the doctors heal her and becoming furious and violent when they try to tell him there's nothing they can do. And you can't blame him. Octavia was his daughter, the most important thing in his life and his most loved part of his being during his many years of marriage, now taken from him completely unexpectedly and seemingly for no reason. Stella's reaction is equally devastating, as she lost her child just when their relationship was repairing, causing her to temporarily blame and assault Stolas for not noticing anything sooner, before grieving over her lost child. As does Stolas after telling Loona the bad news and being forced to accept the ugly truth.

Chapter 32 - A Bouquet of Broken Hearts

• The entirety of Chapter 32, is one bitter tearjerker, as we follow the characters after the aftermath of Octavia's death. It does not pull it's punches in show how devastating this is for everyone. Everyone is heartbroken and shattered over the unexpected passing. Even Rufus is noticeably much more sullen and hollow than usual. And then we have Octavia's parents and Loona.
• Out of all of them, we see Loona's breakdown the most and it's just as painful as one might expect. The usually moody and grumpy hellhound, doubles down on her fury, lashing out and cursing her family, refusing any shows of sympathy and comfort from them and is constantly denying how devastated she is. Not just over losing her best friend, but by how Hell keeps taking away everything she holds dear, and never gives her anything in return. Considering all she's been through, from a rough childhood, to racism, to a poor life and now this, she sounds so defeated and bitter at everything and it sucks. It finally takes Blitzo confronting her at home, for her to get vulnerable again admit how much she hates that her best friend's gone, burying herself into her dad's chest and weeping openly. Even after that, she still feels bitter and disillusioned with the world, turning to drinking alone on the roof, pushing herself from others. And possibly even suicide, had Moxxie not gone to check up on her and give her the encouragement to try and move on from Via's death.
  • Blitzo's reaction when his daughter is weeping onto his chest, seeing her break like this? He mentally tells off God, hammering in just how bad Loona's emotional state is right now.
  'God, if you're up there. If you ever gave a tin shit about anything down here', he thought, while his daughter raged and wept, 'you need to try a little fuckin' harder.'
• Stolas has turned into a shell of himself, drinking away his sorrows, lazing around the palace not knowing what to do and refusing to leave as it all reminds him of Octavia, who he's not ready to let go of yet. As shown when he visits Octavia's room, begging for any sign that she might still be alive. It hurts seeing Stolas, who's often so upbeat, hopeful and sweet turned into a broken man, who's lost the most important thing in his life, with no ability to recover, now alone and consumed by his grief.
• And then there's Stella. While we see her pain the least, it's clear she's absolutely rocked by this, cursing out Loona at the funeral, demanding she leave and that it should've been her who died instead of her child. By the end of the chapter, she leaves Stolas and the palace, ending their rocky relationship at the moment on a sad note, being unable to bare living any longer in a place, where she's reminded of the daughter she finally regained and then lost. Even with everything she put Via through, it's clear she loved her and having to lose her now, is devastating.

Chapter 33 - Resilience

• We see some more of how Rufus has been dealing with Octavia's death, as the warden buries himself into his work, and fortifying Hell for the upcoming Extermination, neglecting to check up on Loona & Blitzo and others, to keep himself distracted from the pain, having already closed Polaris, until now. Given what we learn later, you can truly feel that the warden loved Octavia like a daughter. So having to lose another one, is a gut punch for him.
• Stormy gives us an update on the Hellhounds, and things aren't looking good. Andromeda is still grieving her sister's death, leaving her shop in shambles and most of the hellhounds have been left homeless, penniless and struggling to fend for themselves, with no one caring about their plight but Rufus. We all knew they had it rough, but this gives us a harsh insight into how little they are valued in Hell.
• Despite being in a slightly better state than her previous chapter, Loona is still in deep mourning and grief over losing Octavia. It's just now instead of being angry and violent towards others, she's become lazy and depressed spending most of her days on the couch watching cartoons, suffering from nightmares she won't talk about and trying to keep her distance from others, instead of truly trying to move on. It goes to show how much Octavia meant to the hellhound. Her first real friend is now gone and she no longer had any motivation to go on.
• Blitzo & Rufus go to confront Stolas, in hopes of getting his help to protect Imp City from the upcoming Extermination. And it's here that we see how far Stolas has fallen. He's neglected his passions and duties, leaving his beloved garden rotting into decay, he's turned his back on his servants and even Loona when she tried to talk to him and does little more than lounge around in his room, drinking himself to death. When the pair try to talk him back to his senses, the depressed prince angrily lashes out at them, refusing their help and demanding they leave, wanting to simply die, now that the most important thing in his life is gone. It was painful enough last chapter, but in here you it's clear he's lost all hope and just wants to die, rather than being stuck in a world that forces him to deal with things he hates, while the things he loves is taken from him. He's fully ready to die, and it takes Rufus and Blitzo being completely vulnerable with him, to finally knock to bring the prince back to his senses. It's just miserable to read through.
• While we were given a hint to it in Chapter 5, it's here that Rufus reveals his past life before his death to Blitzo and Stolas. And it's a real heartbreaker. He started out as a German clockmaker during the time of the First World War, who had to become a gunsmith in order to keep his family alive when the Second World War began. Only to become consumed by the greed and power he gained from his skills. When his wife and daughter finally confronted him about it, they were all killed together at the plant he worked in, his daughter's crushing death haunting him as he perished. They are dead because of him and he knows it. And he can never make amends with them, as they went to Heaven while he remains forever trapped in Hell. It's a tragic life for the ruthless warden, completely recontextulizing his relationship with Loona & Octavia and why he takes his duties so serious.

Chapter 36 - Extermination

• Blitzo having to watch the angels release and slaughter all of Prince Stolas' horses, while he can do nothing but to stop them is heartbreaking for the imp. It feels like a child watching his pet dog, being killed by a wild bear. It really feels horrible, as you see how much this hurts him to see.

Chapter 37 - The Ravages of Heaven

• The chapter does not gloss over the fact that Stolas & company had to sacrifice several hundreds of people, to ensure the survival of others. Everyone is clearly shaken and distraught about it, even though they all ultimately agree it was the best solution to an impossible problem.
• Rufus & Andromeda have a reunion here, after not seeing each other for so long, and it's very bitter to read through. Andy is still incredibly furious with the Warden for what he did to Polaris, but even she expresses disappointment, that he didn't attend her funeral. And while she agrees that he was not wanted and would've been in poor taste after what he did, Andy tells him Polaris would've wanted him to have come, which helps soften her anger on the Warden. But not by much. Even by the end, where she acknowledges he did the right thing by helping Loona & Via, and wanting to try and move past it, the hellhound makes it clear she will never forgive him for what he did.
• It's here we find out that Andromeda's own aunt Nebula was one of the crazies, that emerged during the Uproar. Her own aunt tried to kill her, her friends and several hellhound children, and even as she was close to killing Castor, Andy couldn't bring herself to kill her aunt, the woman who raised her since she was a child. She could do nothing but watch, still holding her gun, as Vortex had to take her out. Onto of leaving her traumatized, the hellhound has become self-loathing for being unable to do anything, while Rufus had no trouble doing when the chips where down.
  • This gives us extra context as to why Andromeda blew up at Rufus for killing Polaris despite the unavoidable circumstances. One of her immediate family members were driven mad and had to be put down before she could kill anyone else by a male friend. She was no doubt hoping that her sister was spared this fate. Instead, the same scenario happened again, with Rufus replacing Vortex and Polaris replacing Nebula. The double whammy of losing her closer family members to the same scenario destroyed any self-control she had.

Chapter 38 - Solidarity

• The building where I.M.P. operates gets condemned due recent damages to its main supports and is slated for demolition. While no one was hurt inside the building, and they were able to get some of their things out before, this is still a devastating blow for the group and especially Blitzo. The place had become like a second home to them, being where they celebrated their victories, planned their hits, passed the time and generally grew together. To have it be completely ruined, after everything else they've already lost. It's heartbreaking to see them say goodbye to the place as it collapses, with Blitzo cursing Heaven for taking this away from him.

Chapter 39 - Remembrance

• This chapter is largely focused on Loona and Stolas trying to move on from Octavia's passing, and trying to accept the ugly truth for what it is. While much time has passed since her death, the two are still haunted by her memories as they experience frequent nightmares of her calling out to them and they bury themselves into their work and bad habits, being unable to cope with her loss. Which is why Stolas asks for Loona's aid to help him get through his pain. She was the only other one who truly understood Octavia. Possibly even mores than him. Only she can give him the answers to why she suddenly died, and comfort Stolas desperately needs at this time and only together can they help each other process their grief and get better.
• This chapter reveals how lonely Stolas is without I.M.P. Stella continues to live with her brother, the two infrequently talking over the phone now and usually never about Octavia. It's a bitter show of what's become of their relationship.
• As it turns out, when Stolas was fortifying the palace, there was one place he couldn't fully bare up. Octavia's room. The prince heartbrokenly and tearfully breaks down, admitting that it was too painful for him to return to that place, after having lost his daughter. While Stolas knows it's not his fault for her death, he cannot fully believe it as he was her father and should've done better to save her. It's heart wrenching to see a father mourn their child like this, as all the bottled up guilt and shame come breaking through, all at once, with the equally effected Loona having to comfort him through it all. It's hard to read through in the best way.
• We get a brief but bitter display of Loona mourning Polly's death, as it's revealed she has one of her scrunchie in her pocket. Seeing it again stirs up painful memories for the hellhound.

Chapter 40 - A Soiree in Sloth

• A lot of the chapter is spent exploring Stella, still grieving the loss of Octavia. The once proud, loud, outspoken and prideful warrior and politician swan of the Ars Goetia, has become a lot more withdrawn and disillusioned person, forced to put up with her brother's parties, constant attempts at hooking her up with another royal. Throughout it all, it's clear there's no energy or life in Stella, as she simply goes through the motions despite her dislike of it all. Made even worse, is how the royals of Sloth view her. While she's a respected and prideful woman of business and war in Pride, everyone in Sloth view her as either a bargaining chip or a potential trophy wife, to increase their own power. None of them even care about Octavia's passing, thinking of it more as an unfortunate setback, rather than the awful, tragic loss that it was. Even her own brother is more than happy to marry her off, for his own benefit. All of this makes you really feel for the grieving Stella, as she's forced to deal with all of this so shortly after her death, and makes it all the better when she finally has enough of it all by the end.

Chapter 41 - Haunted

• During Blitzo's talk with Loona, the imp gets surprisingly emotional and melancholy, admitting that despite all his bravado and optimism, there's a big chance that his company will never rebuild after all their losses, including their office, their money and many of their records, even with Stolas' backing. He has no idea what will happen from here on out, he only knows that he doesn't want to lose the family he's build with I.M.P. It leaves you with a saddening possibility of I.M.P. either having to disband or go forward onto an uncertain future, which will be difficult to navigate through, even with help from each other.
• Regardless of circumstance, seeing Loona reunite with Octavia, after the former's long, painful, exhausting grieving period and the latter spending weeks, possibly months, trapped in a nightmare world begging for her friends to come rescue her, will not fail to get a tear from anyone reading.

Chapter 42 - Abomination

• Despite all the progress they've made, the growth they've gone through as a couple and how much they've come to care, Blitzo still can't bring himself to truly, openly tell Stolas how much he loves him. Even though his self-loathing has faded with time, he's still too guarded and afraid to take the next step with his boyfriend.
• Everyone's reactions to the reveal of what really happened to Octavia can be absolutely heartbreaking to read. Especially for Stolas. The man had to bury his young daughter, fell into a long state of depression and hopelessness for several weeks and even while making a recovery, her memory continued to haunt him. So for him to find out that his daughter is not only alive, but trapped in a prison he was unable to save him from is gut-punching to read. As is Loona's reaction, as she crumbles in relief and grief at the firm proof that her best friend's not dead.

Chapter 43 - The Archive

• In order to access the information they seek, Rufus, Stolas, Loona and Blitzo are forced to make a wager with the keeper Pendergast. They must each reveal a Dark Secret about themselves and see if together they match the weight needed for them to proceed. Each other is equally as traumatizing and bitter in their own way, and gives us a heartbreaking look at the teller.
  • The first story comes from Rufus, as he reveals he once cheated on his wife, with Karl one of his male assistant at his work. The two had a series of affairs behind his wife's back, without telling anyone…until Karl was caught and sentenced to execution by the higher ups, as a warning to their workers. The real kicker however was that not only did Rufus, a man with enough money and influence to spare his life, not try to save his friend out of fear of being ousted, he willingly pulled the trigger that killed Karl. But the story doesn't end there, as Rufus went to meet up with Karl, after tracking him in Hell, during a point where he was most broken, and when his apology was unaccepted, he openly mocked his former affair, beating him to a pulp and destroying his new bar and life out of spite. A few weeks later, Karl would officially die in an Extermination. It is a tearjerking, haunting show of the cold, selfish, heartless man Rufus used to be in life, and to a lesser extent, continues to be in death.
  • Stolas confesses to almost letting Octavia get killed, during her youth. It was during her infancy, after a night where he and Stella had been exhausted and worn out from Via keeping them up with her frequent night terrors. With Stella away on duty, he was kept in charge of Octavia. But while he was busy watering the plants, he absentmindedly let Octavia wander on her own, eventually leading her to the open cellar door. When he finally noticed her, Via was right at the edge and he had to roughly yank her back to keep her from falling, accidentally dislocating her shoulder. Young Via was so terrified of him, she became afraid of her father for weeks, adding further guilt to Stolas' mind. And when Stella found out, he could not bring himself to admit what he had done, blaming it on a servant, whom Stella killed shortly after. It's a rare but bitter look at Stolas' shortcomings as a father, and one stretching as far back as Via's youth; and no doubt what made her supposed death even more heartbreaking for the prince, as this one fatal failure as a father forever haunted him.
  • Loona admits to trying to track her mom, sometime after the founding of I.M.P., even stealing money from their saving to fund her search, allowing Blitzo to take the blame. When she finally found her, Loona is distraught to discover that she's not only living a comfortable, happy life as a singer in Gluttony, and that she's married, but that she has two twin boys. She abandoned her on the streets to die, but replaced her with some other kids. The discovery was so earth shattering, it crushed any resolve to confront her mother, even after all the pain she put her through, not wanting her children to learn what she had done. Instead, she haunted their garden for a while, watching her mom play with her new children, and then flee in fear of her upon being discovered, after which she went to drink and cry away her sorrows. The tearjerking tale further shows why Loona felt so alone and unwanted from the people around her, and her break down in front of her father, is heard to read through.
  • Finally Blitzo reveals that there's a very likely but ambiguous possibility, that he caused the death of his parents. After his mother got sick, his life in the circus started becoming increasingly rough, as his greedy, bad-with-money father turned to drinking and beating his children to deal with the stress. While young Blitzo was willing to take most of the hits, he secretly grew to hate his father and wanting to kill him, if only to escape the constant abuse he put him through. Then one night during a show, the rope holding his father snapped, causing him to plummet to his death. During which the circus caught on fire, which also resulted in Blitzo's home getting destroyed, Fizzarolli to lose his limps and his mother to die in the flames. It's an incredibly affective and sad take on Blitzo's past and loss, that helped shape him into the self-loathing, bitter, lonely, affection-craving man he is now.

Chapter 45 - Old Wounds and New Recruits

• Rufus reveals why he was so reluctant to visit the Archive. In exchange for the information needed to fix and improve IMP's weapons, Rufus gave up the first five years worth of happy memories he made with his daughter Sophia. Including her first steps and words. In a cruel twist, the Archive allowed him to keep the painful ones, including when he fist spanked her, yelled at her and missed her birthday. It's a sacrifice no father should have to make, and emphasizes the Archive's cruelty and how much Rufus has lost in pursuit of the truth and his failings as a parent.

Chapter 49 - Night Thoughts

• Vaggie's frustration and blow up at Charlie for volunteering her for this mission, without her consent, is completely understandable. She may love her girlfriend, but her rash decisions, almost blinding optimism and tendency to jump to things before thinking things through, get to her. She's already having to deal with helping to run the hotel, so to have not only this mission but the reveal of eldritch gods and Mother dumped on her lap, one can feel the frustration and misery of having to deal with all of this.
• Moxxie's small breakdown, once he has the time to fully reflect on his choice and understand the consequences is rather bitter. He reveals how afraid he is of this mission, not wanting to lose Millie or any of his newfound friends to unknown horrors he can barley comprehend. They've already had to deal with so many horrors lately, but this might be the straw breaking the camel's back.
• Loona breaking down into tears inside Octavia's bedroom is heartbreaking. Once again she has lost something, as her contacting Octavia, lead to her and Blitzo's apartment to be contaminated with one of Mother's beasts, forcing them to leave. When she tries to sleep in Via's room, she is constantly reminded of her best friend, and how she failed to save her. All of it culminating in her venting her frustrations to Blitzo, of constantly having to lose so much in her life and being unable to save her friend for so long. Even with her dad and Stolas comforting her, you can feel her anguish from everything that's happened.

Chapter 50 - Prefatory Preening

• Both of Octavia's parents have a breakdown in this chapter. Stolas has his during a shower, confusing his handprint for his daughter's causing him to cry in anguish over letting his daughter getting abducted by eldritch horrors and being unable to save her as for now. While Blitzo finds him and manages to comfort him, it's heartbreaking hearing the prince in such pain, now that he's had time to fully process what's happened and the sheer horror and unfairness of it all. Of being unable to save his own daughter or even realize that something was wrong, despite all the clear signs and his own power, and now being scared of what might happen.
• Stella meanwhile, has a breakdown in front of Stolas during the closing parts of the chapter. Not only because of Octavia's predicament, but for being unable to take an active part in her rescue, instead having to stay with Lucifer and Lilith to manage the portal, acting as a homing beacon for the war party. You can feel her stress and anguish, as her daughter's life is in danger and she's being relegated to being the stay-at-home-mom, unable to do anything but watch. She wants to make things right, after all she's done, to save her daughter and yet it feels like that's being taken from her.

Chapter 51 - Forged in Fire

• While the Forging Scene is a sight to behold and moment for awesome for the canines, there is a brief moment where the resultant melted metals reenacted the sound of artillery shells due to all the various substances combining. It is easy to forget that with his age, Rufus would've served in World War One as a teenager and this actually gave him shell shock for a brief movement, something that none of the previous encounters, be it hellish, heavenly or eldritch, managed to do. When asked what is Verdun, he states that the fires there surpass Mordor.
• Yoshimo reveals her past to Millie and Vaggie. And it's not for the faint of heart. She lived during ancient China, during the time of the Mongul Invasions. When the invading Khan set his sights on conquering her walled city, Yoshimo agreed to become the Khan's wife, in exchange for her son's life and entry into the keep. From there she spent her remaining days under the man's rule until she died, at which point she would spend a good deal longer rising to power by continuing to serve other men, including becoming the dancer for a fallen sultan and a call girl. It was only though years of patience and pain that she managed to get to where she is today. Hearing what she's gone through is painful but satisfying by the end.

Chapter 52 - Familial Bonds

• The bittersweet opener follows Andromeda and Tex as the pair awaken for a final day of weapon forging with Rufus. Both of them are exhausted and Rufus' unusual reticence about the true nature of his quest has Andy particularly on edge, especially since she's already lost three members of her immediate found family during the Uproar. The amazon escapes to her bedroom where she takes down a box of Polaris' keepsakes and spends a few moments quietly mourning a sister only six weeks in her grave and longing for the days when life was easier. It's a bitter reminder of just how much Hell has taken from the Dog Park. A bit of sweetness comes in Polaris' phone, which is still packed with family photos and includes the hounds' favorite playlist heavily featuring Dance with the Dead, which Andy plays to lift everyone's spirits while the group puts the finishing touches on Rufus' weapons.

Chapter 53 - Parting Words

• Shortly after her death, Stella discovered a stack of letters between her daughter Octavia and Charlie. Among the many topics discussed, the most frequent were of her many troubles and frustrations with her family, the constant fighting and the expectations of her mother. Not only is it sad to imagine Octavia writing all of this to her friend, but Stella's sadness of how long this has been going, and that her own daughter didn't trust her own mother to be open about this is heartbreaking for both of them.
• Charlie and Lucifer get into a fight, over the former's disgust at her father secretly keeping the source of the ritual blood from everyone. While it ends on a sweet note, the fight itself is incredibly agonizing and sad to read through as both finally air out their frustrations towards the other. Lucifer chides Charlie for being overly optimistic and childish at times, while Charlie calls him out for never having faith in her and often treating his daughter like a foolish child he's embarrassed by. It's satisfying to read by the end, but still very bitter.
• Loona admits to Stella that she was always jealous of Octavia, not due to her money or power, but because she had a mother, who despite all her griefs, genuinely loved her. Unlike her own mother who then abandoned her as a child and started a new life and family, without ever given her as much as a passing thought. This goes a long, sad way to further explain why she was so protective of Via and why she was so antagonistic of Stella during their first few encounters.

Chapter 54 - The Nameless City

• Loona gets a flashback to a traumatic moment in her childhood, when she picks up the smell of kennels and a man who tried to kidnap her during her childhood. We're then treated to said flashback, as Loona was nearly captured by the creepy, possibly perverted man, having to fight for her life just to escape him. After being so strong, it's painful to see her briefly reduced to her frightened, vulnerable child-self, unable to fight back against the overwhelming forces against her.

Chapter 55 - Whisperers in Darkness

• Even though it turns out to be a member of the Choir, Moxxie freaking out over Millie's dying body can be quite tearjerking. Not only was she dying but the Choir had made him believe he had killed her, further adding to his painful grief. Thankfully, it turns out to be false.
• Similarly, Millie's own reunion with her dead brother Tommy, who died tragically young, is quite moving.

Chapter 56 - Dreams Beyond the Veil

• While the scene of Charlie being reunited with the corpses of the children is horrifying, it is also absolutely devastating as she's forced to confront one of her deepest regrets. The ghostly visages of her students all flock to her, accusing her of leaving them and begging her to stay with them now. Charlie is devastated and tries her best to comfort the children, but is ultimately forced to kill the children in order to escape the Choir's hold. Sure, they weren't the actual children themselves, but the sight of Charlie breaking down as she's not only confronted by her former students but forced to kill them all over to get out, is heartbreaking.
• Stolas gets a few during his experience with the Choir. In particular he is briefly reunited with Octavia, who helps to snap him out of his delusion. The prince desperately tries to reach out for her, but sadly she is dragged before he can save her. After over 30 chapters, you hope beyond reason that Stolas will finally be able to save his daughter, after all the hardship they have endured, even with the great distance between them. Only for that hope to be shattered as Via is unable to reach him and is dragged back with the father forced to watch. Special mention also goes out his mother's funeral, the matriarch begging her son to stay with her, but the Prince forced to abandon her too.
• Blitzo of course, is given a rough throwback into his past, where the circus is in flames, his family is dying, his new friends are being hurt as a result of him and everyone mocks the imp for his many, many mistakes, including his mother and Barbie. After having to relive so much in so little time, you almost expect him to give in, before Stolas and his newfound family manage to bring him back.
• After the end of all the madness, with everyone having escaped the Choir, feelings are not happy. Especially not for Loona, as the poor hellhound breaks down in terrified tears overall she has witnessed. For a moment it seems everyone's ready to give up, after all they've been through and now having seen that, things truly feel helpless as the team is left exhausted, traumatized and nearly broken-down by all they had endured.

Chapter 57 - The King in Gold

• Octavia's state, when she's finally found, is quite horrific. Malnourished, dehydrated, freezing, pale, exhausted too weak to stand and with trauma too horrible to imagine. She's almost believed to have died at first. Any longer and it's likely she might've.
• Despite Octavia's state, it's hard to keep your eyes dry at seeing her finally reunited with her family. In particular Stolas, as she wakes up to see her father looking down at her, bursting into tears as she embraces him and then Loona. After 27 chapters of waiting, she's finally together with her loved ones.

Chapter 58 - The Last Stand

• No one is spared from the final battle, as by the end just about everyone is knocking on Death's door from the sheer numbers and power of Mother's army, leading to some desperate heartbreaking moments.
  • Both Moxxie & Millie are forced to watch their beloved spouse nearly killed moments from each other. First Moxxie watches as his wife is knocked out by a surprise attack and then surrounded by legions of monsters. In a desperate, near suicidal move to save her, he is forced to detonate one of the bombs at near point-blank. While it does get them off her back, it knocks him completely unconscious, with Millie desperately begging her husband to stay awake, fearing for his life. And given the ominous last part of his section, one can't blame her.
  • Just as everything seems to be going well for Blitzo & Loona, their winning streak is brought to an abrupt and terrifying end, as a luckily blow tears through the imp's armor and guts him. Loona's terrified shriek is bad enough, but seeing the hellhound fight through hordes to retrieve his body, then racing to get him to safety, even after breaking her leg, fighting back tears and cries of despair is painful.
  • As if the previous part wasn't bad enough, we take a moment to hear it from Stolas' POV. The instant he hears Blitzo suffering a fatal attack, he desperately tried to rush in and save his lover, only for Charlie and Alastor to remind him, they need his power to keep the spell up; the three of them alone barley being able to hold it as is. With a heavy heart, Stolas is forced to ignore Blitzo's state and fatal wound in order to do his duties. And the description of his emotional pain is heartbreaking.
  • Upon seeing Loona's state after her leg gets shattered, Rufus experiences a flashback to his last moments, where he watched his daughter die in the factory so long ago. For a brief moment, Rufus almost lost his second daughter.
  • Yoshimo having to watch Rufus almost die and then comforting him by his side, begging him to hold on just a while longer, breaking down at having to lose another husband, all the while the Warden fades in and out of life. After all they've been through together and the long road it took for them to get married, you feel the Captain's pain as she's close to losing the one thing she loves most and forced to fight on, despite it all.
  • Stolas' sacrifice. Everything seems hopeless. The rescue party is on it's last legs, the army of Eldritch horrors are closing in, the spell is starting to come apart and Mother has now joined in and is utterly defeating everyone. With no other options, Stolas draws in every bit of magic inside of himself, fueling it with his own life-force and soul to keep it going and hold back Mother, causing his already broken down body, to start to fall apart, feathers and flesh molting off him as he feels himself die. With his possible last moments, he gives sobbing, gut punching goodbyes to Blitzo, Loona and a breaking down Octavia, before helping Charlie complete the spell, finally getting them home. It's an incredibly bittersweet victory, as Octavia and the whole team are able to return to Hell, though only through his death. And after everything that's happened, it's hard not to sob at the very likely possibility that Stolas is dying.

Chapter 59 - Aftermath

• Upon returning home Stella has spent almost all her time by her daughter and the rest of the party's side, becoming increasingly skinny and more withdrawn with each passing day. While she seems to be on track for a slow recovery by the end of the first week, her grief is truly heartbreaking to see.
• Once Stolas wakes up, Blitzo finally has a chance to confront him over his near suicidal move, angrily giving him a slight smack and chewing in at him for his move. Stolas reminds him that he didn't have many other options, after which the imp's anger soon melts away into grief and worry as he reveals that he can't lose the prince again, pulling him in for a comforting hug and begging him not to leave him again. The two confess their love for each other and seemingly make piece, but not after quite the heartbreaking fight.
• Everyone is left with scars and mental trauma after all they've experienced and the chapter does not sugarcoat any of it. From the cast spending the first days screaming and laughing mad, to small moments like M&M being unable to sleep and Octavia suffering from terrifying nightmares even weeks after she's able to walk again, it sets it home that they might never fully recover from any of their time there. Charlie becomes a full-on Stepford Smiler by the end, trying to keep up her usual happy, optimistic self, but her patrons and friends quickly being able to notice something's up, trying to get her to tell them what's wrong, but the princess being unable to say a word both as a promise to her father and not wanting to drag them with her.
• The closing melancholic segment between Charlie and Alastor, showing even someone as depraved as the Radio Demon is struggling to overcome his experiences, becoming slight more withdrawn and somber, turning to the bottle for comfort. His short and uneasy replies to Charlie's offer of company and talk, all the while his mind is still reeling from the time spent there, while all he can do to drink up liquid courage, made for a very effective show of how he's struggling to cope with it all.

Chapter 60 - Krampusnacht Gifts

• Sadly, not even the holidays can cure everyone from the numerous, awful experiences they have gone through while in Mother's Realm. While many manage to pretend everything's okay and even get through the holidays in good spirits, finding moment of levity and genuine happiness, it still hurts to see them struggling both physically and especially mentally from their numerous scars. The opening sequence with Millie is a good show of this, as the usually peppy and optimistic imp has become withdrawn and distant from her family, much to her mother's concern, being unable to even talk about it with her.
• The sections within Stolas' household gives us some saddening looks into their states at the moment. For one Stolas is no longer stargazing as much as he used to and his love for space has been greatly impacted, after what he's been through; the Prince now feeling haunted with Mother no doubt looking for him. Blitzo has also started to become more reflected of how short his and Loona's life with the family will ultimately be, as the royals will undoubtedly outlive the both of them by millennia, making their love bittersweet at best.
• Octavia begging Krampus to take away the pain of what she's been through and the horrible memories of Mother's realm away from her, is enough to make most sob. In particular her requesting that he make her normal again. This coming directly after the princess has another episode, forcing the spirit to ease the pain, somberly telling her that even his power isn't enough to heal this level of trauma. The poor child has been through far too much in this story, and sadly it will never truly go away, even when it gets better to deal with.

Chapter 61 - A Warm House in a Cold Hell

• The final scene with Alastor has him learning what happened to his mother, from Captain Yoshimo. She too ended up in Hell, living the simple life of a Deli manager, frequently talking with Yoshimo. She knew her son had become the infamous Radio Demon, never seeking him out as he had his own affairs to attend to, but telling the peacock, that despite what Al had become, she never feared or lost any love for her boy, thinking of him fondly to her grave. All the while Alastor remains quiet, finally remarking that she was a good cook and thanking Yoshimo for finally telling him his mother's fate. It's a surprisingly somber note for the Radio Demon to go out on, showing more of his humanity, through his beloved mother, whom he never got to say goodbye to.