Sound Effect Bleep / Radio

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• The BBC Radio 4 spoof quiz show I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue includes a round called "Censored Songs" in which the teams sing well-known songs while bleeping out innocent words to create a Double Entendre effect.
  • Particularly egregious example: [beep] rabbit, [beep] rabbit/[beep], [beep], [beep]/Here comes the farmer with his [beep], [beep],[beep],[beep]....
  • And "I Whistle A Happy Tune" - "Whenever I feel a[buzz] / I hold my [buzz] erect / And whistle a happy tune / so no one will suspect / I'm a[buzz]". Not to mention "All Through The Night", in which they bleeped out every single word except "...all through the night"!
• Radio 1 also did a spoof quiz called 'Badly Bleeped TV' in which sections from tv shows, news broadcasts, etc. were played with some of their (completely innocent) dialogue bleeped out; listeners had to guess what the words were. The bleeped-out sound clips end up sounding... well, just listen.
• Similarly, radios will often censor popular songs by replacing curse words with humorous sound effects. The result of this, ironically, often makes the effect much naughtier than the original. Example: The Gwen Stefani song "Holla Back Girl" replaces the word shit with a sexual moan. This "sexual moan" is bananas?!
• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1978), one of the new radio series. The book Life, the Universe and Everything on which it was based featured an award for "The Most Gratuitous Use of the Word Fuck in a Serious Screenplay"; since it was scheduled to be broadcast at 6.30 pm the word was still uttered by the actor but completely masked by the sound of a starship engine.
• An I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again episode did the censored song thing to Tom Jones' "What's New Pussycat", and a medley of other works by the same artist.
  • This was in fact a running gag on the show, which was done with the Julie Andrews songbook, the Rolf Harris songbook, etc. As a BBC censor played by Graeme Garden commented on one episode, "In this way, we can change songs which are mildly suggestive at first and make them sound positively filthy."
  • Also, one episode had Jo Kendall read the rules of broadcasting to the rest of the cast.
  Jo: There are to be no swearwords.
  Bill: Damn!
  Tim: Bugger!
  David: Knickers!
  Jo: Such words will be obliterated by this noise. [honk-honk] Is that [honk-honk] well clear?
• In The Castle, a parody of TV chef Gordon Ramsey has a "bleeper" who follows him around in public so he doesn't offend anyone.
• Marcus Brigstocke on The Now Show, complaining about the Media Watchdogs:
  [imitating vox pop] "I think there is too much swearing in the media." Surely that depends on what's happening in the world? I mean, sometimes there clearly isn't enough swearing, is there? Peter Mandelson's back in government. How THIS SECTION WAS REMOVED FOR COMPLIANCE PURPOSES. on a spring!
• On NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the host and guests censor themselves (usually when reading news quotes) by yelling "BLEEP!" loudly during the sentence.
• The Reduced Shakespeare Company Radio Show presents what is claimed to be William Shakespeare's "long-lost children's play" Cardenio, which includes a sex scene covered up by copious and varied use of Sound Effect Bleeps.
  Thank God we had these sound effects
  To cover up the sound of sex.
• This was mocked in a Royal Canadian Air Farce parody of the ING Direct commercials. Walking along the street, the dude selling the bank says, "What can you expect from the [car honk]ing Bank? Well..."
• Unexpectedly used, or at least implied, in Adventures in Odyssey. Jason struggles to get an uncooperative answering machine to work...
  Jason: Operate! Operate, you worthless hunk of- [BEEEP!]
• During the late 70s and early 80s, WBZ Radio in Boston used a rather... unique... bleep noise that sounded something like someone trying to hypnotize a Rubik's Cube... It Makes Sense in Context.
• Used in the Hudson & Landry skit, "Obscene Phone Bust". A variety of sound effects are used to censor the Badmouth's insults to the cops, what exactly he said to women on the phone, and also his name and how it is spelled.
  Officer: Now just a minute! What's your name, badmouth?
  Badmouth: My name is George [squeak honk].
  Officer: Did you say [squeak honk]?
  Badmouth: Yeah, I said [squeak honk].
  Officer: Spelled [xylophone]-T?
  Badmouth: Yes, spelled "[xylophone]-T.
  Officer: Just like it sounds.
• Similarly on Jim Backus' "Dirty Old Man," where the codger uses vulgarities (covered by Hanna-Barbera sound effects) and making dirty malapropisms of women's names.
  Sir: (going through the phone book) Oh, here's a good one...Melanie (horn)!
  Gwendolyn: No, I believe that's Tate, sir.
  Sir: What the (various sounds) is the difference?
  Gwendolyn: Shall I dial it for you sir?
  Sir: Was Geronimo an Indian?
  Gwendolyn: As far as I know, sir.
  Sir: (sarcastically) "As far as I know, sir..." you're a pain in the (tweet)! (Gwendolyn dials the number)
  Voice on phone: (elderly) Hello?
  Sir: How do you do. How's your (jalopy horn)?
  Voice: I beg your pardon?
  Sir: Is this Melanie (whistle)?
  Voice: That's Tate.
  Sir: That's tough! You're too (whistle, trumpet) old for me!
• The Doctor Who Big Finish audio episode ...ish features the eponymous syllable as its Monster of the Week (it's complicated). In order to protect Peri from the Ish, the Doctor uses Applied Phlebotinum to bleep the syllable out whenever she says it. The effect on her dialogue is ... interesting. (Hilariously, they don't bleep out any of her actual swearing.)
• Averted with Eric Idle's "I Bet You They Won't Play This Song On The Radio", which they don't play on the radio, as the words are too strong.
• François Pérusse's Les Deux Minutes du Peuple uses this in some of his skits (who aren't usually ashamed of being subtly graphic), the most notable one being the skit "Chanson Grivoise" in which a Georges Brassens expy sings about the porn movie he saw last night. It becomes comically inverted in the last verse, in which the overwhelmed censor bleeps everything except the sex words. There is an official animation of this skit which can be watched here.

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