Wait a minute, aren't folk songs
traditionally written anonymously?
Well, yeah, but someone had to think them up. This is a tongue-in-cheek guide to some of the most common tropes and concepts.
- Unless it's a comedic song, and sometimes even then, someone has to die.
- It should involve strong drink. Especially if it's Irish.
- The protagonist should have a dangerous, physically strenuous, and poorly-paid profession.
- Romance is always good, but is commonly played with — the lover is missing, dead, or disguised.
- Criminal actions are common, in which the protagonist is a rebel, smuggler or highwayman.
- The chorus should either repeat half the words of the previous verse, or consist of lilting ("toorali-oorali-oorali-ay"), or both together.
- The song should begin with one of the following lines:
- "It was in eighteen-hundred and (insert date here)."
- "Come all you bold (whatevers) and list to my song."
- "As I was a-walking down by (wherever)."
- "My name is (whatever), I'm a (profession)."
- With regards to time periods, it should begin one morning in May, though June and bleak December are okay in a pinch.
- How will someone die in your song? Murder is the most common option, but other possibilities include execution, suicide, drowning, fighting the law and undescribed illness (this last is especially good for spurned lovers).
- What does your protagonist do for a living? He might be a soldier, sailor (especially a whaler), logger, miner, homesteader, outlaw, moonshiner, or rebel against the perfidious English.
- Where does the story take place? The ocean is always popular, as are pretty much any fair, town, valley or mountain in Ireland, Scotland or the American West. Common specific locations include Botany Bay, Carrickfergus and Dublin.
- How are women portrayed — do they wait for their lover to return from his adventures, or does absence make the heart go yonder? Do they betray their lover, or murder their baby? Are they disguised?
- The song should not be set in:
- The White House.
- A private jet or yacht.
- Job categories not found in folksong:
- Government (except for prison guards).
- Banking (unless robbery is involved).
- White-collar crime.
Suggested Themes and Aesops
Set Designer / Location Scout
The Epic Fails