(The Board is a paranatural entity of interest that is, while in common contact to the Bureau, is only in direct communication with the Director through OOP3-UE. Director Jesse Faden has agreed to offer a transcript of all communications and pre-recordings of the Board. Only Bureau staff that are [REDACTED] or higher are allowed clearance to read this document. Any Bureau member that violates this rule or breaks Confidentially Code-1B in the employee handbook shall be questioned and subjected to [REDACTED].)
< Testing testing testing >
< We are broadcasting from the Pyramid/Other >
< We only speak to the Director and do not answer/respond to inquiries >
< or irrelevant questions/probes/invasion >
< We provide the Building/Tree >
< and the Bureau/TV Tropes provides Protection/Worship/Editing >
< Standby for instructions >
< All Tropes/Patterns >
- A Form You Are Comfortable With: < All Humans/Staff/Servants are only given memetic level awareness/clearance >
< We facilitate/advocate this to provide an Equal/Opposite deposit of information for your/our benefit > - Ambiguously Evil: < We agree to all terms/compacts made with the Bureau/House as arranged >
< We provide/offer better Bonus Package/Health Plan >
< If you leave, you will be sorry/dead and you will never work/exist in this Torn/Cosmic Reality again > - Berserk Button: < The Board is A-OK/Intact >
< The Rebel Faction/Dissent is Former/Fired >
< The Former/Dissent is Previous/Disappointment and is not part of the Board/Us >
< We Apologize/Deny All Knowledge for the inconvenience >
< It builds a Competition/Not Us >
< Do not believe/get hyped about the Former's lies/ads > - The Chooser of the One: < Only the Director can wield The Gun/Sword/Intentionally left blank >
< All Applications will be processed >
< Only the Director can bind the Service Weapon and Live/Die >
< This is the Ritual/Challenge > - Control Freak: < We appoint you, Director >
< You manage/tend and dispose/prune at your leisure, but the Building/Tree was our gift to you and will be tended too as instructed >
< Any infractions shall be met with punishment/salvation >
< We expect Independence/Dependence > - Eldritch Abomination: < We are broadcasting from the Pyramid/Other >
< This is an emergency test/trial broadcasting >
< Please respond in a Timely Manner/Orange Peel > - God's Hands Are Tied: < We cannot effect External/Not Astral regions >
< Please locate Corrupt/Chaos and terminate/pacify > - Meta Guy: < All notes/plot devices are left available for you in the manual/administrivia >
< Please read/confess before proceeding >
