Charlie is very offended when Alan chooses their cousins to be Jake's guardians if he dies.
Tropes:
- Amusing Injuries: Alan reveals to Charlie that last summer Jake actually fractured his ass doing a cannonball into the bathtub.
- Blatant Lies: When Jake asks if uncle Charlie knows where the hospital is, Charlie replies "Of course I know where it is". He is frantically looking around for it.
- Comically Missing the Point: When Jake arrives at the hospital, he's more concerned about being hungry and asks the nurse for a chili cheeseburger and fries. Charlie thinks he's hallucinating due to his head injury.
- Deadpan Snarker: Charlie to Alan when he's denied as Jake's caregiver in case Alan dies: "Gee, Alan, you think I can handle the responsibility? I mean, what if he wants to go to college or something?"
- Innocently Insensitive: Alan reminding Evelyn that who gets custody of Jake is only if both him and Judith both die. And they're not dying, at least not before Evelyn dies first.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Charlie's reaction when his playing a game of rough basketball resulted in Jake's injury.
- No Bisexuals: Charlie poking fun at Judith's changing sexuality, calling her "sexually ambivalent". Judith claims she's not ambivalent, she's exploring her sexuality.
- Oh, Crap!: Charlie, when Jake falls and busts his head open during a basketball game.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: At the hospital Charlie gives another hospital patient a large $50-$100 dollar bill so that he and Jake can go ahead of him first for medical assistance.
- Secret Test of Character: While not planned or intentional on the part of Alan, Charlie taking care of Jake after his injury ends up being this. Charlie immediately rushes Jake to the hospital, hands out a bribe to get Jake treatment as quickly as possible, and stays with him during the treatment. Charlie initially believed he had failed by letting Jake get hurt in the first place, but Alan is so impressed with how Charlie handled things he changes his will so Charlie takes custody of Jake if Alan dies.
- Shout-Out:
- This exchange between Alan and Charlie
Charlie: Who am I thinking of that lives in Kansas?Alan: I don't know. Dorothy and Toto? - Who Will Take The Kids?: The whole episode revolved around this, as Charlie is upset that Alan would rather have their college professor cousins take care of Jake instead of Charlie in the event that something happens to Alan and Judith. Then Jake suffers a head injury while playing basketball with Charlie, who immediately takes him to the hospital (well... immediately after he finds one, anyway) and earns Alan's trust.
