Release: October 27, 2008
Movie: Double Dragon (1994) (1994)
This review contains examples of:
- Call-Back: To the Street Fighter/Mortal Kombat review:Koga Shuko: I JUST WANT TOTAL DOMINATION OF ONE MAJOR AMERICAN CITY!
Critic: (sigh) All right... (cues Street Fighter movie clip)
M. Bison: Of COURSE!
Critic: Hehe... I'll never get sick of that joke. - Celebrity Paradox: Referenced by the Critic:Critic: WAIT A MINUTE! (Record Needle Scratch) The Double Dragon arcade game is right behind him?! THAT. MAKES. NO. SENSE!!! How can you make a Double Dragon arcade game movie, based on the Double Dragon arcade game, if the arcade game is in the background?... Has everybody lost their minds? It's like seeing Frodo in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings movies, READING the book, J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings! IT MAKES. NO. SENSE! The movie's universe should've just imploded!
- Failed Future Forecast: Referenced:Critic: It turns out he [Koga] is the evil ruler of New Angeles, which takes place in the futuristic world of 2007! Oh yeah, I remember that year: When global warming flooded the entire earth, nuclear missiles destroyed all the major cities, and then within one year's time, we cleaned it all up! Funny couple of months, I wrote a lot in my calendar those days, I can tell ya!
- The Hero Dies:Critic: I think now's the time that filmmakers will stop worrying about money and simply concentrate on making decent, entertaining films about video games. May God strike me down if I'm wrong! (is shot in the head and keels over; after a pause, he gets back up) Is it me, or have I been dying a LOT recently? (keels over again)
- Ho Yay: Invoked:Jimmy: I'm not gonna ask Marian for help.
Billy: Fine, then I'll ask her.
Jimmy: Good, then ask her.
Billy: I'm gonna!
Jimmy: Ask her!
Billy: I'm gonna!
Critic: Oh will you just propose to him already?! - The Hyena: When Bo Abobo laughs hysterically with one of his cohorts:Critic: Jesus, these guys will laugh at anything! (as Abobo) Hey, next week I'm getting a root canal! (laughs heartily) Hey! I just found out, I have cancer! (laughs again)
- Obligatory Joke: See Call-Back.
- Tempting Fate: "What's next: Andy Dick as the weatherman?" (cut to Andy Dick as the weatherman)
