Tonight's special guest is Glenda Jackson. Unfortunately for Kermit, Glenda is convinced that she's a pirate, nothing he can say will convince her otherwise, and she's prepared to take over the show.
Songs and Sketches:
- "Workin' at the Car Wash Blues", sung by Gonzo and the Chickens.
- "Tie-Aye-Aye the Man Down", sung by the Pirates.
- Fozzie's Comedy Act: Glenda only gives Fozzie one joke.
- "The Walloping Window Blind", sung by Glenda and the Pirates.
- UK Spot: "Carolina in the Morning", sung by Eric the Parrot while being chased by The Swedish Chef.
- At the Dance: Pirates dance as the ship tilts from side to side.
- Muppet Sports: Louis Kazagger presents a new sport — yardarm hanging.
- "Battle At Sea" medley: Glenda and the Pirates sing "Sailing, Sailing", but are interrupted by Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, and the Chickens.
This episode provides examples of:
- Cloudcuckoolander: Glenda. Her looniness seems to actually warp reality itself, turning the theatre into a pirate ship... somehow.
- Distressed Damsel: Miss Piggy tries to get Glenda for upsetting her Kermie. Captain Jackson just orders her Muppet minions to tie Piggy up.
- Et Tu, Brute?: Upon finding out that Sweetums joined Glenda's motley crew in taking over the show, Kermit exclaims, "Et tu, Sweetums?", to which Glenda replies, "Actually, I think he ate three. You'd better check the chickens."
- Full-Body Disguise: Glenda's penguin friend is actually a parrot in a full-bodied penguin costume.
- Green Around the Gills:
- Scooter suffers from a bad case of seasickness, resulting in this trope.
- Parodied when Fozzie says Kermit is looking green, to which Kermit reminds him he's always green.Fozzie: How do you know when you're sick?
- Here We Go Again!: At the end of the episode, it looks like Glenda's calmed down and stopped pretending to be a pirate. The minute she's freed from the ropes, she's right back to being all piratical.
- Human Cannonball: During the "Battle at Sea" medley, Glenda's crew runs out of cannonballs, so the Flying Zuccini Brothers volunteer.
- Hostile Show Takeover: Glenda is convinced that she's a feared pirate captain and tries to take over the theatre, but the Muppets give as good as they get, and fight her off.
- If I Were a Rich Man: At one point during the "Working at the Car Wash Blues" number, Gonzo has a brief fantasy about being an executive instead of a carwasher, imagining himself spinning around in a swivel chair, asking his chicken secretary to take a letter, and then taking the afternoon off to make out with said secretary.
- Large Ham: Glenda may or may not be a pirate, but she definitely talks like one. Yar!
- Pirate: Kermit greets Glenda in her dressing room, where she introduces herself as Black Jackson, the Heartless Pirate Captain.Glenda: Bilge-wash, I'm glad to see you run a tight little ship.
Kermit: Uh... uh, Glenda, do you have any connection with the sea?
[Glenda laughs, then takes off her jacket to reveal a pirate outfit.]
Glenda: Meet... Black Jackson, the Heartless Pirate Captain! Ah-ha! - A Pirate 400 Years Too Late: Glenda reveals herself to be a pirate in the then-present day of 1980 and takes over the show, which has somehow turned into a ship.
- Pirate Parrot: Glenda, the Heartless Pirate Captain, has a companion: Eric, the Heartless Pirate Parrot.
- Sanity Slippage: Poor, poor Kermit is driven to distraction by Glenda's pirate antics, and right before the final number, he snaps and tries to end the show early.Kermit: Uh, ladies and gentlemen, they say the show must go on, but they never say why! Well, right now, the show must not go on! Because I quit! I give up! Our guest star's a pirate, the theater's sailing out to sea, and I'm losing my mind!
- Unfortunately for him, though, Glenda refuses to stop before the show's big musical finale, despite his protests.
- Wingding Eyes: Scooter gets spiral eyes after getting seasick.
- [The two geezers are in the crow's nest.]
Waldorf: I wonder why they call this thing a "crow's nest"?
[A crow in pirate's garb pops up.]
Crow: Get outta my nest, ya dummies!
[Statler and Waldorf laugh, while the crow caws.]
