Kisegach plans to bribe a fire inspectors (again); everyone does it anyway, right? Bykov disagrees and insists on doing everything legitimately, or he would break their relationship. And by the way, why give a crooked inspector any money if everything alright as is? It is alright, right?.. Right?.. She reluctantly agrees. She assigns Varya to force everyone to cease smoking for at least a day... but Varya quickly learns that no one takes her seriously. When everything else fails, Varya uses a fire extinguisher to exile Gleb and Semyon from a "smoking room".
Gleb accuses Semyon (who tells him various stories) of just making stuff up. Semyon has an opportunity to strike back when he finds out that his patient keeps an old bullet as a luck charm. He borrows it and creates a fake story about being shot at his childhood and now still living with a bullet in his arm. X-ray confirms this, because it shows a bullet being inside (actually just attached to his back with a duct tape). Everything gets ruined by the patient himself, who asks Gleb about his bullet. Gleb just mocks Semyon with a similar trick, only with a toy soldier, but otherwise no one gets offended.
Kupitman suddenly realises that cognac no longer "works" for him: it used to provide him inspiration, but that's gone. Now he wants to replace it. Kupitman has bought all kinds of other beverages to try them all and find the best one. Bykov agrees to help him, and one by one, they tests them, rejecting every single one, while becoming progressively more drunk.
Phil accidentally breaks a centrifuge. Fortunately, Lyuba has someone who would help to fix it — Ivanovich. Ivanovich indeed fixes it, and makes it spinning again... but once started, the centrifuge refuses to stop and quickly accelerates to the point of causing a short circuit — just in time for a fire inspector to finally arrive (and this is after he witnessed consequences of (mostly) Varya's screwups. After that, they notices Bykov and Kupitman during their "testing", but by this point it's just a double-tap, as inspector already saw more than enough. And then inspector sees even more. It seems that now there's no way out except to bribe the inspector... and it would be much more expensive, given how much he knows. Even Bykov tells Kisegach that, no matter what he said before, if she'd prepared that badly, it's better to pay a bribe now and just not repeat the same mistake again.
This episode provides examples of:
- Abhorrent Admirer: Lyuba and Phil needs Ivanovich's help to fix a centrifuge, but he yet again starts hitting on Lyuba with "subtle" hints at that he plans to bed her if she falls for him, which unsurprisingly makes her angry. Unfortunately, Ivanovich's audacious advances are the reason why neither Lyuba nor Ivanovich himself notices that "fixed" centrifuge is can't actually stop rotating and now is about to explode (Phil notices, but gets ignored).
- The Alcoholic: Kupitman no longer can receive "inspiration" from cognac... and needs something new. So, he bought several different beverages in attempt to find "replacement"; Bykov agrees to "help" him. They tries (and rejects), in order: balm ("yucky"), sake ("like someone peed into vodka"), schnapps ("crap, and grandfather would not forgive me for this"), tequila ("overcomplicated"); after that point, they stops even bothering to call drinks by name, just rejecting them one by one (and becoming progressively more dunk in the process). Last thing they rejects is bourbon, after which Kupitman decides to just stick to cognac. Then he proceeds to apologise before cognac, as if he "cheated" on it with some other booze.
- Authority in Name Only: Varya is tasked to stop everyone from smoking for at least a day, so hospital may pass a fire inspection. No one takes her seriously, and Gleb and Semyon openly mocks her. When they goes too far, she starts threatening them with a fire extinguisher. She actually uses it when they still refuses to take her seriously.
- Chekhov's Gun: The fire extinguisher Varya uses on Gleb and Semyon to make them stop smoking never gets replaced, and comes up as one of the many fire safety violations when inspector actually arrives.
- Comically Missing the Point: When Phil takes all fault for a centrifuge "incident" on himself, Lyuba tries to cover for him, only for Phil to stick with this version. Kisegach decides to just ignore them both anyway and replace a broken centrifuge, because at this point, it's the least of her problems. Enraged Lyuba calls Phil a "Colorado beetle"; his only objection is that he's from Boston.
- Cutting Corners: The reason why Kisegach always bribes that crooked fire inspector? Because she never has enough budget to actually organise a fire defence properly. She also saved some money on replacing wires, which leads to short circuit when Phil's centrifuge, "fixed" by Ivanovich, accelerates to the point of exploding. Right when the fire inspection was already failed utterly even without it.
- Epic Fail: Kisegach tries to pass a fire safety inspection legitimately. Everything goes wrong, to absurd levels, with everyone in the hospital contributing to this mess in one way or another:
- Varya's attempts to make people stop smoking for a day only resulted in them smoking in a warehouse (with no ventilation, so it's filled with a thick blinding smoke), while "smoking room" (which Kisegach accidentally calls just that at first, before correcting herself — having it in the hospital is a violation by itself) having a used fire extinguisher (the same one Varya used on Gleb and Semyon earlier).
- Ivanovich "fixes" Phil's centrifuge in such a way that it fails to stop rotating after being turned on and causes short circuit due to old wires. Ivanovich goes to Kisegach and complains about the wires, right after she lied that those are brand new.
- As a finishing blow, inspector and Kisegach goes into Kupitman's office and sees Kupitman and Bykov drinking (burning) alcohol right here. Later, in Kisegach's office, Inspector lists the other violations he'd seen: blocked evacuation routes, lack of anti-fire equipment... and those are just the first page.
- Gone Horribly Right: Ivanovich does make the centrifuge spinning. Unfortunately, it quickly accelerates to ridiculous speed (Phil actually notices it in time, but Ivanovich and Lyuba are too busy arguing to react to his warnings) and causes a short circuit, which in turn starts fire. Just in time for a fire inspector's arrival (not that inspection went good even without it).
- Good Luck Charm: That bullet Semyon used for his revenge on Gleb was used by its actual owner as a good luck charm. Why? Because, when he was a policeman, he was shot with it, but he was lucky and it barely avoided damaging anything significant. The way he was injured by it back then actually provides Semyon with an idea how to construct his prank around it. He fools Gleb for a short time, but then Gleb learns about bullet's origin from the patient himself.
- Instantly Proven Wrong: Kisegach claims that those wires are "brand new". Cue Ivanovich coming in and complaining about old wires which catches fire as soon as short circuit occurs.
- The Münchausen: Gleb accuses Semyon that all his "stories" he keeps telling are total bullshit and that he makes them up. Semyon gets offended by this, and creates a fake (but verifiable) lie about himself, in which Gleb would actually believe. How? By taking his patient's lucky bullet, attaching it to himself with a duct tape, and lying that he was shot back in his childhood. X-ray only confirms that yes, the bullet is here (because that same bullet previously ruined X-ray of Semyon's patient, who wears it on his neck). Then Gleb learns about bullet's origin from the patient himself. He proceeds to fake his own X-ray, with a toy soldier on it (there also was a toy car, but it was digested; bad quality!). Semyon instantly recognises that his lie was revealed, and the two just laughs together.
- Screw the Money, I Have Rules!: Bykov insists that Kisegach must pass that fire inspection legitimately, otherwise she would only reinforce corruption. But later, when he learns just how her attempt to pass inspection legitimately actually went, he calls her dumb: now, she's forced to pay that bribe, or lose her position (and harm the hospital in general), and it would be even more expensive since she would bribe not an ordinary inspector, but the ministry itself. Fighting corruption and working fairly is one thing, refusing to pay bribes when you're cornered and it's your only way of survival is stupid.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Usually, Kisegach just bribes a crooked fire inspector ("everyone does that!"), to avoid inspection altogether. This time, Bykov insists on doing everything legitimately, which kickstarts her plot.
- Stating the Simple Solution: Kisegach asks Varya to tell everyone to cease smoking for at least a day, to not sabotage un upcoming fire inspection. Varya suggests to just forbid smoking altogether... but Kisegach tells her that, formally, it's already forbidden, but no one cares. So, she gives Varya an authority to finally enforce the rules. This changes nothing, because no one takes Varya seriously, either.
- What the Hell, Hero?: When Bykov hears that Kisegach plans to bribe a fire inspector, he threatens to break their relationship (and even friendship) if she proceeds with this, and insists on doing everything legitimately. Anastasia reluctantly agrees. However, when he learns how badly she screwed up at doing it and what consequences it may have, he tells her that if the situation is just that bad, bribery is certainly the lesser evil.
