- Harmony: Tell me something, Doctor. The place where you sleep at night, is it guarded?McKay: I know what you're trying to do, and it's not gonna work, OK? And I'm not scared of you. You're just a kid, a bratty little kid. I couldn't care less that you're going to be queen. In fact, nothing could impress me less! So, why don't you just cool it with the backseat act, and go back to ignoring me!Harmony: Surely, they can't guard you all the time?— McKay meets his match
Visiting with princesses Flora and Mardola on a planet they have friendly relations with, Sheppard and McKay are conscripted into a Live-Action Escort Mission protecting their third and even more beautiful sister, Harmony, chosen to be the next queen. The only trouble is that Princess Harmony is 13 (but looks more like 9) and a royal brat - literally. Our heroes have to escort her on a day long hike through the forest to some ancient ruins and back, so that she can perform the ritual that will allow her to accede to the throne.
Young Harmony develops an instant (and mutual) dislike of McKay, and an equally instant (but far less mutual) crush on Sheppard. Hilarity Ensues. The otherwise simple mission is complicated by the sudden appearence of Genii troops, who demand that Harmony be handed over to them. Tempting as it is, the three elude them and continue heading towards the ruins, while the Genii are stalked and killed by a mysterious entity known only as the Beast, which, according to Harmony, protects the royal house.
The ruins turn out to be the control station of an Ancient testing ground, where mini drones were developed. The drones are activated by the pendant of queenship that Harmony carries (and, of course, having the ATA gene). They are the "Beast" that has been attacking the Genii. Unfortunately, the Genii have gotten there first and have been mucking with things, and the control station no longer works. McKay shuffles control crystals while Sheppard keeps a lookout and Harmony tries vainly to get her pendant to glow and complete the ritual. McKay does manage to get the machine working, but the Genii show up and start shooting everything, and he has to drag Harmony to safety. Pinned down, and figuring that anyone with the ATA gene can control the drones, Sheppard grabs the pendants, activates the machine, and drives off the rest of the Genii.
Harmony, naturally, is unimpressed, calls him a usurper (for stealing the pendant), and decides to shower her praise and affection on a stunned McKay instead. She completes the ritual and they return to the palace, where it turns out that Mardola hired the Genii to take care of them so she could be queen instead. She is arrested, Harmony is crowned Queen, and the adventure is commemorated in a painting that should really be seen rather than described.
Tropes:
- Cain and Abel: Mardola, who was Refused by the Call, hires some Genii mercenaries to eliminate her sister during her Magical Girl Queenliness Test.
- Crocodile Tears: Harmony fakes crying at one point to gain Sheppard's sympathy. Sheppard sees through it, but plays along to make her more tolerable (he does at least reassure McKay)
- Little Miss Snarker
- Live-Action Escort Mission
- Magical Girl Queenliness Test: a variant
- Mistaken for Badass: During the climax, McKay accidentally yanks Harmony to safety while flailing around when he trips. Harmony thinks that he did it on purpose.
- Not That Kind of DoctorHarmony: You're a doctor, right?McKay: Yes, yes, I mean, I'm not a medical doctor.Harmony: So, you're a liar?
- Out of Focus: This episode focuses entirely on Sheppard and McKay. No other characters are seen, nor is Atlantis itself.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Princess Flora has worked with Atlantis to help the poor and impoverished people of her planet. When her thirteen-year-old sister Harmony is selected to be the new queen instead of her, Flora accepts this gracefully and asks Sheppard and McKay to provide security for Harmony during her Magical Girl Queenliness Test. She's also lets them search her room for evidence about who tried to kill Harmony without being imperious or defensive about it.
- Royal Brat: The eponymous Harmony.
- That Liar Lies: Harmony, about McKay...except she's the actual liar.
- Written by the Winners: The painting in the throne room shows a heroic McKay and a cowardly Sheppard, which is the exact opposite of how the scene had played out. This is primarily in retaliation for how Sheppard had saved the day, which Harmony saw as offensive to her royalty.
