Present in the Season 3 DVD.
Quinnmas was to be a Yet Another Christmas Carol episode, but was rejected for not being funny.
A commercial for El Cabron, a Mexican themed offshoot of Grizzlebee's, plays on TV as Quinn drinks heavily. It's interrupted by Kid (from Kid 'n' Play), an old friend of Quinn's, coming to warn Quinn of three ghosts coming to haunt him over his alcoholism. Quinn denies he's an alcoholic as he crashes into the TV and blacks out.
He comes to to meet Kenny, Ghost of Blackouts Past, who looks like a stereotypical bedsheet ghost. Kenny mistakes Quinn for Teresa Jones, another binge drinker who's due to have a baby. Kenny begins scrolling though Quinn's past, revealing that his mother drank while he was in the womb, he was regularly given vodka as a baby, a picture of Kenny and a woman ghost he slipped in, before finally settling on a memory of Quinn at college. Apparently going into the past is a lot like the Matrix, and Kenny talks slowly because he's paid by the hour.
At the fraternity, Kid is hanging out with Quinn's ex-fiancee Belle and discussing Quinn's alcoholism. Quinn comes in, with stolen medical-grade alcohol. When Kid tries to confront him, Quinn sets him on fire. Quinn is horrified to have killed Kid, only to realize that House Party V: The Quickening is on TV, making him think he was hallucinating. However, the Ghost of Blackouts Present, a green monster, shows himself, and apologizes for clogging up the toilet.
Quinn claims he's still dreaming, and when Blackouts Present says that all this is real, Quinn claims it's impossible, for Kid's still alive and making movies. Blackouts Present reveals that Kid has been made into a robot. He also reveals that right now, a blacked out Quinn is punching Hesh and demanding he lick an ashtray. While he claims the booze is driving Quinn insane, Quinn merely points out that Hesh fair game. What does convince Quinn that booze is driving him insane is finding out that he's now befriending Hesh. Then, as the blacked out Quinn goes drunk driving with Hesh, Quinn begs Blackouts Present to get him out of there, swearing that he'll never drink again.
However, Ghost of Blackouts Yet To Come, a lounge singer skeleton, appears to convince Quinn not to quit drinking, saying Blackouts Present is the office joke, which Kenny agrees with. Blackouts Present tries to punch Kenny and they start fighting.
As Blackouts Present complains about how Blackouts Yet To Come is ruining everything, Quinn makes himself a daiquiri. He proposes calling Belle, only for Blackouts Yet To Come to reveal she's now a spider cyborg with kids. Blackouts Present claims it's from drinking, but Blackouts Yet To Come reminds Quinn that plenty of scientists were alcoholics, such as Archimedes (who streaks while drunk), Issac Newton (who yells at the apple that fell on his head), and Alexander Graham Bell (who makes obscene phone calls to Watson while drunk).
The three scientists come in to join Quinn and the ghosts. Blackouts Present tries to get things back on track, but his schedule gets derailed as Kenny introduces Quinn to the scientists, whom he still mistakes as the pregnant Teresa Jones. Cleopatra then comes in declaring that they must have a baby shower while Quetzalcoatl brings nachos. Blackouts Present complains about the ruined intervention, while Quinn complains about the dead people, yet invites the ones in the hallway in.
A party is now underway with all the dead people and animals. Blackouts Yet To Come is telling Kenny and Quinn a funny story. Blackouts Present yells at Blackouts Yet To Come for driving Quinn back to drinking, to which Blackouts Yet To Come insults him. Suddenly the police come and knock him out.
Quinn comes to in the middle of the Deep Diver wreck, with the police asking about his drunk driving and Hesh's mangled body. Quinn declares himself in a pickle.
It cuts to Robo-Kid eating a jar of “Dr. Quinn's Olde Time Pickled Gherkins” as he warns the viewers about alcohol abuse and killer cyborgs with a taste for human flesh.
