We're back on the couch, but this time Lisa isn't present. Instead, Lincoln has brought Luna, Lucy, Lana, and Lily. The reason Lisa isn't present is because she's at MIT, giving a lecture. Today, they'll be reading In Memory of a Mascot, and it's by AnimationFan15— let's hope he doesn't have Lincoln send anyone to the hospital this time!
The story opens on Lincoln with some boxes of pizza. He claims it's the best pizza in America, but Luna (the real one) disagrees, saying that's in New York. Lana instantly wants to go to New York upon hearing this, but Lincoln says no.
Fanfic Lincoln starts to bring home the pizza when he sees that a new Muscle Fish game has been released, but it costs $60, and he only has $10. He brings the pizza home, claiming it tastes like paradise, and the real Lucy writes a poem about what paradise tastes like. Fanfic Rita and Lynn Sr. enter, so Lincoln gives the remaining two pizza slices to them.
The next day at school, fanfic Lincoln tells Clyde about his situation. Clyde suggests asking his sisters, but he claims that they'd say no, and that Leni (not Luna for a change) is his nicest sister but needs money for sewing supplies. On the couch, Luna is a bit bothered by the glorification, but is glad they aren't doing it to her, then Lily wants to be the nicest sister.
At the cafeteria, fanfic Lincoln sees an ad saying:
The real Lincoln only kind of has school spirit, doesn't really want to let it loose, and doesn't even know what people they're talking about, so he'd only do it for the money. Fanfic Lincoln is grinning widely (which the real Lincoln disagrees with, since he wouldn't actually be that happy) and decides to sign up (without his sisters finding out).
At the auditions, fanfic Lincoln meets a girl named Maddie Mann and the real Louds talk about non-indicative names (like how her last name is Mann but she's a girl and Lucy's last name is Loud but she's quiet). Fanfic Lincoln explains that he's auditioning to play a game, while Maddie explains that she's auditioning because she's energetic (even though, as Lana points out, she doesn't sound that way).
They train, and fanfic Lincoln and Maddie do it perfectly, while the rest are clumsy, so they're chosen and the rest get participation awards (which Luna, the real one, hates). Fanfic Lincoln and Maddie want to be friends, but he's worried he'll fall for her because he already has a "girlfriend" and he saw a movie which "told" him that a guy and a lady can't be platonic friends. Luna points out that that isn't true — Chunk and her are platonic friends... then again, maybe that's just because a middle-aged man dating a teenage girl would be creepy.
Fanfic Lincoln initially feels tired, but Luna gives him a massage and he feels better. He starts to practice on the couch while his sisters aren't in the living room, and meanwhile, on the real couch, Lucy is missing. She comes back with a glass of water and we skip to the next day.
Fanfic Lincoln decides to stand in the back of the costume so that he doesn't get BO in Maddie's face— although, as the real Luna points out, he could just take a bath. Lana freaks out because she thinks Luna is asking her to take a bath. Then, when the coach asks if fanfic Lincoln and Maddie are comfortable, the real Lincoln brings up the "squirrel suit incident" again. Then, Lisa texts him to correct the grammar somehow.
Fanfic Lincoln goes to leave on the day of the game, but his sisters want to come too. Back on the couch, Lana remembers "The Loudest Yard" and goes over to sit on Lincoln's lap. Lily wants to sit on Lucy's lap, so Lucy puts her on her lap. Luna wants a lap to sit in too, but she can't sit in one because she's the biggest.
Fanfic Lincoln reluctantly lets his sisters tag along and he slips off and gets suited up. At the game, Leni notices Lincoln's absence and they go off to search (with Lisa putting holograms of herself on the empty chairs). The sisters go onto the field for some reason and bump into the wildebeest mascot. Lincoln screams and they recognise the voice and chase him.
They eventually reveal who's in the costume and laugh at Lincoln (even though, as the real Lana points out, teasing someone in public is a lot different from teasing someone at home, and a wildebeest isn't even a very embarrassing thing to be dressed as). Lily tries to say "mean" again and, in the fanfic, the announcers send everyone home while everyone else is "appalled" at the sisters and throw things at them.
Maddie throws a pebble at Leni and claims that siblings are meant to be supportive, causing the fanfic sisters to feel guilty. They drive home, while Lincoln goes to stay at Maddie's. At home, the parents got a call from the Manns and are very unhappy with the girls, so they disallow them to use phones, make dresses, jam, tell jokes, play sports, write poetry, hang out with the animals, or do experiments. They also confiscate Lori's phone, Leni's sewing kit, Luna's guitar, Mr. Coconuts, Lynn's sports equipment, Lucy's poetry book, Lana's pets, Lola's dresses, Lisa's chemistry set, and Lily's blanket. They then tell the girls that they won't get their objects and privileges back until they make up with Lincoln, so the girls go upstairs sadly.
At the Mann house, Lincoln is disappointed because he didn't get the money but Maddie shows him a video game and they begin to play.
The next day, the fanfic sisters call up the Mann house and tell Lincoln and Maddie to meet them at the football field at two. When they get there, it turns out that they're apologising by having a do-over. Their team wins and everyone hugs. So Lincoln gets a new game and a new friend.
With the fanfic over, Lincoln says that it was flawed, but better than the author's previous one. Lana wants to go to New York and Lincoln says no, but eventually they go to New York anyway.
This episode provides examples of
- Alliterative Name: The auditioner is named Maddie Mann.
- Boomerang Bigot: Maddie thinks girls are nosy and obsessive, even though she is one herself.
- Continuity Nod:
- Lincoln remembers how in another story by the same author, The Diary of a Loud, his fanfic counterpart sent Lola to the hospital.
- Lincoln mentions that he wouldn't want to be a mascot, especially not if it's on the beach (which happened in "No Such Luck"). Then later, he complains about how hot the squirrel suit was.
- Lana remembers how scared she was for Lincoln when he lost the game in "The Loudest Yard".
- Luna remembers the "Zombie Bran incident" from "Cereal Offender".
- Lucy reveals that she didn't really mean her "I have no brother and this time I mean it" line from "Making the Case".
- Death Glare: Lincoln glares at his sisters when he remembers being a mascot on a beach.
- Gamer Chick: Maddie plays a video game called Splatterfield.
- Genki Girl: Maddie is meant to be energetic, but it doesn't show.
- Got Me Doing It: This exchange:Lucy: Questions end in que-
Lincoln: Oh, don't you start, too! - Inexplicably Awesome:
- Lisa somehow manages to read the fanfic while giving a lecture at MIT.
- How the Louds teleported to New York in the middle of Lincoln's sentence is left unsaid.
- Informed Attribute: Maddie claims to be energetic, but she doesn't do anything energetic or sound energetic.
- Just Friends: Fanfic Lincoln is concerned that a boy/man and a girl/woman can't just be friends as a movie "told" him they can't.
- Non-Indicative Name: It's brought up that Maddie's last name is Mann, but she's a girl, and Lucy's last name is Loud, but she's quiet.
- My God, What Have I Done?: The fanfic sisters feel very guilty upon being told they're being unsupportive.
- Pun: Luna says, "You like wildebeests? That's gnus to me!", but Lincoln thinks that Luna telling puns "doesn't work".
- Stealth Hi/Bye: Lucy goes out to get water and comes back, without anyone noticing her.
- Still Sucks Thumb: Lana sucks her thumb because she's afraid that they'll force her to take a bath.
- Tastes Like Purple: Fanfic Lincoln claims the pizza tastes like "paradise", so the real Luna wonders what paradise tastes like.
