After forgetting the words to “I’m a Country Boy” in the shower, Cam remarks that he’s losing touch with his country roots. The only logical course of action, Cam feels, is... to get a chicken. Yep. Prepare to suffer, Mitch!
Meanwhile, Alex is up for a prestigious government job, and is about to have a family interview at the house. Phil suggests to her that they should put the family heirloom in view— a sketch of Mickey Mouse from 1931 seemingly by Walt Disney himself— whilst Claire can’t stop micromanaging everything. Fresh off reading Chapter One of his Psychology book, Luke notices the archetypes found in his family: Alex (all brains, lack of empathy), Claire (obsessive, controlling), Haley (refusal to grow up, “Peter Pan” complex) and Phil (dreamer, gullible). This insight causes doubt and fear to slowly seep in.
Joe, in the other hand, is about to play a soccer game, but refuses to eat his beets. Gloria lets it slide, as she informs Jay that he’s an umpire at the game. Knowing Jay, Joe won’t be able to get away with not eating that for long.
The interviewer is at the Dunphy’s, and is in the process of talking with Haley about Alex. Haley simply reveals more of her Peter Pan Personality. (“She inspired me. When I turned 21, I said, ‘Haley, time to be your own woman’, and I moved into the basement.”) The same occurs with the rest of the family— Claire being controlling, and Phil expressing his naivety in unwillingly becoming a Russian spy when he was young. Alex is mortified by her family, and suggests to the interviewer to name the report: Alex Dunphy: The Apple That Fell Very Far From The Tree. She yells at them and storms off.
The chicken— with its name changing from Princess Layer to Egg Ryan to Chicki Minaj— has unearthed another egg, seemingly delighting Cam. However, Cam reveals how much he hates the chicken and its smell, eager to get rid of it. After discussing his annoyance of going to the feed and grain store again, Mitch, however, loves the chicken and going to the store. Plot twist!! Though, he accidentally left the cage open, screaming “Hennifer” to find the chicken.
At the soccer game, Jay is ordered to be the umpire for Joe’s team that Gloria is coaching. Jay is delighted to have Gloria listen to him, even if he failed to bring his whistle and has to call out “whistle” instead. After forcing Gloria to leave the game, she chants in Spanish and deflates the soccer ball, making known her fury.
Luke’s assessment of his family really rattes the family, Haley and Phil especially. Haley calls Dylan to go to a play instead of a circus, purely out of spite. Phil investigates the article written about him, and realises how stupid he was to not see it coming that he was a spy for Russia.
Mitch and Cam pretend to be happy and annoyed, respectively, about the chicken being missing. They check the security footage, with Cam saying that the chicken was attacked by a raccoon, as the footage clearly shows Cam grabbing the chicken. Mitch says that Hennifer could still be out there, as her body was never recovered, so they set out to find her.
Whilst at the line for the play, Haley and Dylan realise that they would be the youngest there, whilst at the carnival, they would be the oldest. They ditch the play, and make their way to the bumper cars.
Jay apologises to Gloria, and says that they need to be on the same page for Joe and his vegetables.
Phil begins to doubt the authenticity of his Mickey Mouse picture. He asks Alex, who suggests that it has to be real. Subsequently, Alex reveals she got the job, and hugs and thanks Phil for always believing in her. Aww!
Cam reveals the truth about the chicken, and he and Mitch go back to the grain store.
At the bumper cars, in the midst of reapplying her lipstick, Dylan knocks her, sending the lipstick up her nose. At the hospital, the doctor informs Haley that she didn’t break her nose. However, Haley will have to grow-up, as she takes on the biggest responsibility of all: she’s pregnant!
Tropes:
- Adult Child: Haley, Dylan and Phil.
- Farm Boy: Cam is constantly this, whilst Mitch begins to show shades of this.
- Four-Philosophy Ensemble: As explored by Luke.
- Insane Troll Logic: The reason for Cam getting a chicken.
- Picky Eater: Joe hates beets so much that he’s willing to manipulate his parents.
- Surprise Pregnancy: Since Haley had no idea she was pregnant, it was either detected really early, or Haley haven’t realised her period had stopped.
- Wham Line: You’re pregnant.
