Ross is still torn between Rachel and Julie, so Chandler and Joey decide to help him by making a list of each girl's pros and cons. Monica finds a new job where her task is to come up with recipes involving Mockolate, a synthetic chocolate substitute that she and the rest of the friends find disgusting.
Tropes:
- Amusingly Short List: Played for Drama. Ross has Chandler type out a pro-con list to help him decide between Rachel and Julie. The only thing in Julie's con list is "She's not Rachel". Rachel is upset when she finds the list, and is not reassured when she finds the Julie's con list, as Chandler has typed it as "She's not Rachem".
- Bait-and-Switch: Ross gets Monica to tune to a radio station, where Ross has the DJ play U2’s "With or Without You" in an attempt to make up with Rachel. Rachel thinks about it for a moment, then makes a call while Monica is watching. As the scene cuts to Ross, the DJ stops the song and tells everyone that Rachel called her and told her what Ross did. Now, the DJ doesn't want to help.
- Bittersweet Ending: Monica's subplot ends with her not getting the job because the FDA didn't approve Mockolate. Though she still gets paid for the work she did do.
- Downer Ending: Rachel finds out about the pros and cons list Ross made about her and becomes too angry at him to think about starting a relationship with him.
- Made Out to Be a Jerkass: Since Chandler hastily typed out Ross' list several of Rachel's cons came out worse than intended. The crowning one was "Just a waitress". Rachel took that to mean she wasn't successful enough for Ross when it was really referring to the fact Julie being a paleontologist gave her and Ross a lot of common ground.
- Mars and Venus Gender Contrast: Rachel and Ross respectively tell the girls and the guys about their kiss in two contrasting scenes. Rachel paints a very colorful picture of it to Monica and Phoebe, who swoon dreamily. Ross' description and Chandler and Joey's reactions to it are as perfunctory as they come.Ross: And then I kissed her.
Joey: Tongue?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Cool. (goes back to eating pizza) - Mock Meal: Monica is asked to prepare some recipes for a synthetic chocolate substitute named Mockolate. Let's just say real chocolate has nothing to worry about.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Neither Phoebe nor Monica are happy to learn that it was Chandler printing off the list that caused Rachel to getting angry over hearing the "pros" and "cons" about her.
- No Sympathy: Chandler is incredulous when Ross refers to having to pick between Rachel and Julie as a nightmare scenario.Chandler: Oh, I know, this must be so hard. "Oh no, two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties AND MY DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT!"
- Shout-Out:
- Partway through working on Ross' list Chandler asks the other guys if they want to use his computer to play Doom instead.
- Chandler gets mad at the technical support worker he calls when he realizes the guy is watching Star Trek: The Original Series during their call.Chandler: So, Spock actually hugs his father?
- Tastes Like Feet: Phoebe tries some "mockolate" and has this to say:Phoebe: Oh, sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like!
