Title: An American Family
Directed by: James Burrows
Written by: Heide Perlman
Air Date: November 29, 1984
Previous: Diane Meets Mom
Next: Diane's Allergy
Guest Starring: Dan Hedaya, Jean Kasem
"An American Family" is the ninth episode of the third season of Cheers.
Carla's loathsome ex-husband Nick (Dan Hedaya) and his idiot wife Loretta (Jean Kasem) pay one of their periodic visits to the bar. After the usual unpleasantries, Nick reveals why he's there: it turns out that Loretta can't have children. And since Loretta wants children, Nick wants Carla to hand over one of the five kids they had together. Carla refuses, but Nick exerts his bizarre Kavorka Man powers on her, and soon she is about to sign a paper to turn over custody of Anthony to Nick.
In the B-plot, Cliff and Norm argue about Sam Malone's big-league batting average. In the C-plot, Diane is annoyed that Sam is taking his latest girlfriend to the romantic inn that he once stayed at with her.
Tropes:
- Artistic License – History: Jesse Orosco never hit a home run.
- Continuity Nod: In Nick's previous appearance in "Battle of the Exes", Sam pretended to be Carla's boyfriend so she wouldn't be lonely at Nick's wedding. In this episode Nick asks if they're still going together, and Sam says they broke up.
- Disappeared Dad: As Carla angrily tells Nick, he has no claim to fatherhood when he wasn't there for most of his children, and the only ones old enough to remember him at all remember him walking out.
- Dumb Blonde: Loretta. She asks for a Coke at the bar. When Nick tells her to get something fancy, she says "Coca-Cola".Loretta: Nick, we're gonna be late for that Menudo concert!
- Fainting: Nick's whispering into Diane's ear gets her to faint right before the Smash to Black.
- Funny Background Event: When Diane stands up on the foot rail of the bar to get everyone's attention, Sam can clearly be seen to lean back and look at her butt as she gives her big speech. He nods and smiles appreciatively.
- Grew a Spine: Subverted. Loretta realizes she can't stand the thought of forcing a woman to give up one of her children. Nick asks her to speak with him in Sam's office. She protests along the way that nothing Nick says will change her mind. One second after entering the office, Loretta tells Carla coldly to give Nick one of the kids.Sam: (amazed) Even a dose of Vitamin Sammy doesn't work that fast!
- Kavorka Man: Another episode about gross, hairy Nick's bizarre ability to bend women to his will. Loretta says "Whenever Nick gets a woman alone, he can wrap them around his little finger." At the end of the episode he makes Diane weak in the knees just by whispering into her ear.
- Pyrrhic Victory: Cliff wins his argument about with Norm about Sam's batting average, but as Norm and Coach point out, the baseball encyclopaedia he bought to look up the answer cost him $30, and he did it to win $20. Norm, meanwhile, broke even thanks to his side-bet with Coach that Cliff would act obnoxiously if he won. Diane is baffled that Norm and Coach find this so hilarious.
- Shout-Out: The title is a Shout-Out to 1970s PBS miniseries An American Family, often said to be the Ur-Example of Reality Television.
- Side Bet: Norm and Cliff make a bet about Sam Malone's baseball batting average. Cliff has to go and buy a baseball encyclopaedia (which costs more that the amount of money he's bet) in order to prove that he's right. After Cliff rubs Norm's nose in it, Norm collects $20 from Coach and says "I made a side bet with the Coach that if you won you'd be obnoxious".
- Skewed Priorities: Nick's more concerned with the notion that Carla dumped Sam, rather than Sam dumping her.
- Verbal Tic: Nick's habit of pronouncing his wife's name in a hyper-correct manner, hitting the T's hard, "Loret-ta". (Most Americans would pronounce it more like "Loredda".)
