Title: They Call Me Mayday
Directed by: James Burrows
Written by: David Angell
Air Date: December 1, 1983
Previous: Manager Coach
Next: How Do I Love Thee, Let Me Call You Back
Guest Starring: Dick Cavett, Walter Olkewicz
"They Call Me Mayday" is the ninth episode of the second season of Cheers.
This episode basically has two A-plots. In the first, none other than Dick Cavett—author, raconteur, former late-night talk show host and rival to Johnny Carson—shows up in the bar for a drink. Diane is thrilled to see a real live intellectual in Cheers and bores Cavett with her poetry. Cavett eventually recognizes former MLB pitcher Sam Malone, and, after Sam talks a little about his past, Cavett recommends that he write a memoir.
In the second plot, Norm is still mired in depression, jobless and separated from Vera. Into the bar wanders Wally, Norm's old high school friend and former wrestling teammate. They both knew Vera in high school, and after Norm mentions that he and Vera are separated, Wally decides to pursue Vera for himself.
In the C-plot, Coach decides to start exercising and get more fit.
Tropes:
- Achievements in Ignorance: Coach is able to do handstand push-ups (one-handed handstand push-ups, even) when he remembers doing them during Spring Training. When Sam points out it was actually someone else who was able to do them, Coach immediately collapses.
- As Himself: Dick Cavett plays Dick Cavett, who gets off a couple of one-liners then recommends that Sam write a memoir. He later returns to tell Sam that he needs to sex the book up.
- Brick Joke: Sam and Diane retreat to the office to spice up Sam's memoir with stories of his skirt-chasing days. Diane dashes back into the bar, throws a glass of water into her own face, and then says "Boy can I write!" At the end of the episode Sam does the same thing.
- Crazy-Prepared: Apparently Diane carries around some of her poetry just in the off chance someone might come into Cheers who could get it published.
- Damned by Faint Praise: Dick's initial appraisement of Diane's writing is that it's alright.
- Green-Eyed Monster:
- Diane pesters Dick with her poetry, and then fumes when Sam, a former athlete, is instantly able to get an offer of a book from Cavett, insisting Sam somehow "stole" her opportunity.
- Norm gets very upset when he finds out that Wally is courting Vera. One of many times throughout the series where Norm reveals that he doesn't mean any of the nasty things he says about Vera.
- Hidden Depths: Norm turns out to have been a wrestler in high school.
- Pen Name: Diane gives herself a posh, pretentious one: "Jessica Simpson-Bourget".Diane: (on making the book trashier) I would never prostitute my talents that way.
Sam: Well, would Jessica Simpson-Bourget?
Diane: (grinning) That little smut peddler? In a minute! - Reminder of Impossibility: Coach immediately stops doing his handstand pushups and falls to the ground after Sam reminds him that it was actually someone else who did them.
- Sex Sells: Dick Cavett's recommendation as to how Sam can make his memoir more attractive to a publisher. Sam and Diane then decide to throw in stories about Sam's Casanova days as an MLB player on the road.
- Special Guest: Dick Cavett gets a Special Guest Star credit As Himself.
- Three Lines, Some Waiting: Two A-plots, Sam's memoir and Norm's marriage problems, with a C-plot about Coach getting some exercise.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: The memoir that Sam is writing with Diane is never mentioned again.
- Wimp Fight: Norm's wrestling match with Wally leads to Norm and Wally being locked together on the floor for seven hours. Finally, Norm pins him. Coach informs him he's won the affections of Vera; Norm responds, "Who?"
