Title: Games
Directed by: Gennaro Montanino
Written by: Jordan Moffet
Air Date: December 10, 1981
Previous: Stress Analzyer
Next: Homeless
Guest Starring: Sarah Kennedy, Carol Eve Rossen, Leo Hadden, Philip Sterling
"Games" is the sixth episode of the eighth season of Barney Miller.
Unlike most episodes of the show, this one doesn't have a personal plotline involving the detectives, but instead just the two wacky cases. Wojo hauls in one Alice Grant, a pretty, petite blonde who propositioned him as he was going into a diner. Miss Grant reveals that this was her first day as a hooker and in fact Wojo was the first person she ever propositioned. When Miss Grant gives her place of residence as Fort Dix, NJ, Wojo realizes that she's in the Army. By this point he's regretting busting her, but the wheels of justice are in motion. Barney tells Wojo to call someone to come get her, which brings Miss Grant's superior, Sgt. Lake. Sgt. Lake says that she will not cut Miss Grant a break—but then Sgt. Lake is revealed to have some desires of her own.
The second case involves a petty thief who was caught stealing a box of computer chips. Sharp-eyed Dietrich notices that the chips were in a box that was addressed to Poland, then part of the Eastern Bloc. The guy who was sending the chips, one Leo Hadden, explains that they're for computer games and not a security concern, but at Barney's insistence Dietrich calls in the feds. Agent Frank Rilling of the FBI arrives and surprises the 12th by telling them that Mr. Hadden is an KGB spy.
Tropes:
- And the Adventure Continues: Mr. Hadden and Agent Rilling chat about their retirement plans, with the former saying he has a condo in Hawaii and the latter saying he's got a place in the Catskills. Hadden leaves, then Rilling is leaving when, at the door, he suddenly mentions "Pearl Harbor...Schofield Barracks" and all of the other sensitive military outposts in Hawaii. Then he says "I'm going to get that sucker if it's the last thing I do!" and takes off.
- Captain Smooth and Sergeant Rough: Even though they're not in the same chain of command. Capt. Miller suggests that maybe Sgt. Lake could be lenient and sweep this incident under the rug. Sgt. Lake sternly says no, Specialist Grant must be punished for her actions—although eventually Sgt. Lake says too much and reveals some sexual hangups.
- Continuity Nod: It was a running joke throughout the series that Wojo, while highly judgmental about prostitutes and prostitution, also had something of a fetish for hookers. Sure enough, at the end of this episode he is inviting the lovely Miss Grant out for dinner.
- Death Glare: Barney insists that Dietrich pass the spy case on, saying "Why don't you let the FBI handle it?" After the FBI agent and the Commerce Department bureaucrat have both turned up and the whole thing has become a giant mess, Dietrich repeats those very words back to him. Barney shoots him an impressive death glare in response.
- Friendly Enemy: As it turns out, Agent Rilling has been attempting to build a case against Mr. Hadden for years, and they've become old friends in the process. They ask about each other's wives and, since they're both getting on in years, ask about each other's retirement plans.
- I Have a Family: Mr. Oaks, the comically terrified wholesaler who sold the chips to Mr. Hadden in the first place, begs not to get in trouble, saying that he has a wife and kids. Barney is unsympathetic, saying that Mr. Oaks should have been more careful to whom he sold his product.
- Minor Crime Reveals Major Plot: A routine burglary uncovers an espionage plot to send computer chips to the Communist world.
- Obstructive Bureaucrat: Mr. Seinbeck, the guy from the Dept. of Commerce, who's called in to look at the chips. He says they might just be chips for computer gaming, even though Dietrich points out that gaming chips can easily be reprogrammed and are actually quite powerful. He then says that the chips are probably OK but the manual on banned exports to the Soviet bloc keeps getting changed. The upshot is that Mr. Hadden beats the rap, much to Barney's displeasure.
- Spy Fiction: The 12th Precinct stumbles into a case of industrial espionage, as a suspected KGB agent is sending computer microchips to Eastern Europe.
- Stealth Insult: Sgt. Lake, trying to impress on Barney that she is a serious person and not a floozy like Miss Grant, says "I didn't earn these stripes in bed, buddy!" Barney's only answer is "I can believe that!"
- Streetwalker: An exceedingly unlucky one, as the unfortunate Miss Grant got arrested by the very first man she ever approached.
- Unusual Euphemism: Sgt. Lake's angry rant about Specialist Lake deciding to become a part-time hooker winds up getting Sgt. Lake very turned on. As she's leaving she makes an obvious sexual come-on to Capt. Miller.Sgt. Lake: You like tanks? [Beat] I'd like to show you mine.
