"It's crappy and it's kooky; a stupid piece of poopy. I'd rather eat my dookie. It makes me have to pee."
"And I'll never sympathize with [Gabriel]. I'd rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in my ear."
— Cyrus the Great on Gabriel Agreste, "Gabriel Agreste: Fascinating yet STUPID | Video Essay
"
"Lina Lamont: "You can't kiss me like that without meaning it at least a little."
Don Lockwood: "Meet the greatest actor in the world. I'd rather kiss a tarantula."
Lina Lamont: "Oh, Donny, you don't mean that."
Don Lockwood: "Oh, don't I? Bring me a tarantula!"
Lotso: Why don't you come on back and join our family again?
Jessie: This isn't a family, it's a prison! You're a liar and a bully! And I'd rather rot in this dumpster than join any "family" of yours!"''
Jessie: This isn't a family, it's a prison! You're a liar and a bully! And I'd rather rot in this dumpster than join any "family" of yours!"''
— Jessie, Toy Story 3
"I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo."
— Lincoln Loud, The Loud House, "Save the Date"
"I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss you!"
— Ronnie Anne Santiago, The Loud House, "Save the Date''
"I'd rather rip my dick off and throw it in the river than do that again."
— Bam Margera, Jackass, after "The Brand"
Nanny McPhee: "Norman, I suppose, will be sharing [a bed] with Cyril."
Norman: "I'd rather share with a goat!"
Cyril: "A goat won't have you and neither will I!"
Nanny McPhee: "Megsie will be sharing with Celia."
Megsie: "I'd rather share with Geraldine."
Vincent: "She's our cow, and I'd rather share with... an elephant!"
Not-Lana: "You see, dear Lincoln, we're here to help boys who can't help themselves. Poor, naive little boys who just don't know what's good for them. And you are one such boy."
Lincoln: "The hell I am! I'm eleven. I'm old enough to know what I want. And I'm old enough to know (points at glass cage) that I'd rather spend a decade locked in there with my sisters than spend a minute living with you... you creeps!"
I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.
— Someone on Twitter, Most Amazing Top 10, "Dumbest Tweets"
I really should investigate further. But that would mean spending more time with you than I absolutely have to. Frankly, I'd rather be dipped in bees. Goodbye.
—Inspector, Freefall
Will your grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you the length of Prester John's foot, fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard, do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three words conference with this harpy!
—Benedick, Much Ado About Nothing
Pinkie Pie: I've always thought you were cute. Come over here and fuck me.
Spike: I think I'd rather stick my dick in an anthill.
Spike: I think I'd rather stick my dick in an anthill.
I'd rather jump naked onto a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with Crazy Glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you
Or stick my nostrils together with Crazy Glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you
"Have you as my right hand? I'd sooner cut off my whole arm."
— Emperor Belos, to Kikimora, The Owl House, "King's Tide"
Dr. Havoc: (sighs) So, you wanna swim through the shit first, or should I?
Brock: I'm gonna be honest, I-I'd kinda rather be here than at home with that nightmare on wheels you call a wife.
— Dr. Havoc's Diary, "Captain Dr. Havoc"
"I would rather feed my sons to the dragons, than have them carry spears and cups for your drunken, usurper cunt of a king."
— Prince Daemon Targaryen to Ser Otto Hightower, House of the Dragon
"I would rather suffer the end of Romulus a thousand times. I would rather die in agony than accept assistance from you!"
— Captain Nero, Star Trek (2009)
I'd sooner wash my dick in acid than ask what you think
I'll fuck myself with a stun gun before gassing your team
I'll fuck myself with a stun gun before gassing your team
—El-P, "Drones Over Bklyn"
"You may end up just like Oedipus,
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus,
Than end up like ol' Oedipus Rex!"
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus,
Than end up like ol' Oedipus Rex!"
—Tom Lehrer, Oedipus Rex
"I'd rather die drunk, broke at 34, and have people at a dinner table talk about me than live to be rich and sober at 90 and nobody remembered who I was."
— Andrew Neiman, Whiplash
