Quotes / Walking Disaster Area

Ray: I think we should split up!
Venkman: Yeah. We can do more damage that way.

"The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest: Killing you is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what? You win. Just go. It's been fun, don't come back."
GLaDOS, Portal 2

"My name is VASH THE STAMPEDE!! Forgive the lack of warning, but it's time for my daily massacre! If you do not believe I am the real thing, take a good look at me and start freaking out!!"
Vash the Stampede, Trigun, trying to avoid civilian casualties.

Q: It's the insurance damage waiver for your beautiful new car. Will you need collision coverage?
James Bond: Yes.
Q': Fire?
James Bond: Probably.
Q: Property destruction?
James Bond: Definitely.

Rainbow Dash: Now, careful, Derpy! Don't want to do any more damage than you've already done.
Derpy Hooves: *jumping on a thunder cloud* I just don't know what went wrong.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. It's a mystery.

James Bond: We need to talk.
Zukovsky: Why am I suddenly worried that I'm not carrying enough insurance?

Fighter: Y'know, I assumed this Hero of Destiny thing would involve a lot less devastation in our wake.
Red Mage: In our defense, those cities might have burned down on their own. That we were there every time it happened is possibly a coincidence.
8-Bit Theater, Episode 720: A Lesson Is Learned But The Damage Is Going To Take Forever To Clean Up

"Drivers of L.A., you better put on your protective racing helmet and hang a rosary around your rearview mirror, because the streets are unsafe again! ...Every drug dealer is moving to Miami for the rest of the month and every jewelry store is hanging bras on their front doors. We all know she doesn’t go near a bra."
Michael K., "She’s Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!"

"I'm not sure the galaxy could survive TWO Shepards. Think of the property damage."
Miranda Lawson, Mass Effect 3: Citadel

"Now why do buildings burn to the ground wherever she goes? You could guess that the aliens who are trying to kill her did it, or you could imagine she's a pyro and she sets the fires herself. But I like to think that it's just her lot in life that she has to escape a towering death trap every couple of years. The fates are just aligned against her, and the fact that aliens just happen to invade her school at the exact same time is just further evidence that Someone Out There really hates this poor little girl. She's just one awesome cosmic disaster magnet packaged as a sweet innocent little preteen child."
Weird Video Games, review of Momoko 120%

"We normally go to the city with you guys... which means stuff's always exploding and junk. So we thought this might be a better way to check out the kingdom when it's, y'know, normal."

Principal Milder: "Okay, I know things look bad, especially since we have the walking disaster magnet onboard..."
Milo Murphy: "She's talking about me!"
Milo Murphy's Law, "Some Like It Yacht"