Quotes / The Ultimate Gift

Miss. Hastings: It's amazing just how far the fruit can fall from the tree.
Mr. Hamilton: And stil roll a great distance.

Are we on? Well, then if you're watching this, I must be dead.That's a strange concept. How was my funeral, well attended? I hope it rained. Hamilton, Miss Hastings, I hope you're having a better day than I am. If you've just been with my family I doubt it.

— Red, on the recording.

Red: Jason, I've made a lot of mistakes with our family, but... you're the one I think I hurt the most. The only way I can make it up to you is to not give you anything.
Jason: I knew it. [Gets up to leave]
Red: What I mean is I'm not giving you anything yet; so, sit back down there.

I wanna give you a gift, a series of gifts, leading up to, well... how 'bout call it "the ultimate gift".

— Howard "Red" Stevens

Mr. Hamilton: There's a flight to Houston tomorow at seven A.M.
Jason: As in, morning 7 A.M.
Mr. Hamilton: Yes, that seven A.M.

Flight Steward: Uh, 'scuse me, sir, can I— can I see your bording pass again? Thank you. Yeah. See, this is, uh... I'm sorry, this is for coach.
Jason: Nah. That's impossible.
Flight Steward: No, uh, it's uh, 32B.
Jason: Well change it.
Flight Steward: We can't [...] Um, we can't change it, it's a "Q" fare. You can't upgrade. So, can we—
Jason: Do you have any idea who I am?
Flight Steward: I... I know exactly who you are. You're the guy in seat 32B. Here we go!

Well, seein as how you're Red's grandson, you'll stay in the main house with us. I know it ain't much. The little lady just wanted a modest place. [Camera pans to three-story mansion with roman columns]

— Gus

Wish I had a dollar for every fence post I've ever set. [Beat] Matter a fact I do. *Chuckles.*

— Gus

Girlfriend: So I'm dying to know, what did you get?
Jason: Well, it involves land, building materials and slave labor.
Girlfriend: They're giving you a shoping mall?

Look Hamilton, just tell me what my total inheritance is. I'm over this. Where are you going? [To Miss. Hastings] Where is he going? Can you tell him to come back, please? Mr. Hamilton? Mr. Hamilton!

— Jason

I, too, think this is a waste of time. But it will end shortly, because you are going to fail. I expect you to fail and to fail miserably.

— Mr. Hamilton, to Jason.

If I violate their instructions, I am out everything. Everything. So for the sake of the greater good, I must insist that you leave.

— Mom

Emily: So... you have a bet, with a dead guy?
Jason: Yeah.
Emily: Cool.
Alexia: Emily, be polite! Wait. How can you have a bet with a... deceased person?

Mr. Hamilton: So you're Jason's friend?
Emily: Yes, I am.
Mr. Hamilton: True friend?
Emily: Absolutely. Pinky promise.
Mr. Hamilton: So how long have you known Mr. Stevens?
Emily: We go way back. We're like this. *crosses fingers* Now. Where do I sign.
Mr. Hamilton: And, uh... He hasn't promised you any compensation for this friendship?
Emily: Look at him. Does he look like he has anything to offer?
Mr. Hamilton: So uh... You expect this friendship to continue?
Emily: [completely serious] I plan on knowing Jason for the rest of my life.

Look at me. I'm carrying on about death and taxes even after I'm dead.

— Red, on the recording.

Thank you. This means so much to me. And Hamilton? I promise I'm gonna take back all those nasty thoughts about you being the Grinch.

— Jason

Jason: What's your dream? If you could dream of anything— anything — what would your dream be?
Emily: My dream? My dream was a perfect day. And I'm just finishing it. My dream... was to be with people I love. Who love each other, that love me.

The meaning of life is to find our gift, and our purpose in life is to give it away.

— Jim Stovall (Author)

We got to pick out four pumpkins, and somehow... we ended up with twelve. Dunno how that happened.

— Ali Hillis (Alexia) on what she did with Abigail Breslin (Emily) on their day off.

---