Quotes / The Mall

"Malls, the Amazon.com of The '80s. Have you been to a mall recently, kids? No? Well, guess what? You're missing out! Gen Z, get off TikTok and go to the mall; in malls, you make your own algorithm, man! Check these out! [dons a pair of sunglasses] Did I get these at a store? No, bro! I got 'em at a hut! I didn't even have to pay for 'em; I waited for 15 minutes to see if anybody worked there, and when nobody showed up, I just took 'em! Then I waded around in the fountain [and] gathered enough quarters to play Mortal Kombat at the arcade until my fingers bled. Sounds like a full day, right? Wrong! Because then, I swooped over to Lids and copped [dons a fur-trimmed white fedora] this sweet hat, did a pitstop at Auntie Anne's [holds up a large pretzel] for a month's worth of carbs, and look, I know you can get pornography at the tip of your fingers, blah-blah-blah-blah, but you can also pop into Spencer's Gifts, drop by the poster rack, and have a whole-ass relationship with a picture of a bikini-clad model sprawled out on the hood of a Porsche! That's living!"

—Seth Meyers, Late Night