History Quotes / TheMall

->''"Malls, the Amazon.com of TheEighties. Have you been to a mall recently, kids? No? Well, guess what? You're missing out! Gen Z, get off Website/TikTok and go to the mall; in malls, you make your own algorithm, man! Check these out! ''[dons a pair of sunglasses]'' Did I get these at a store? No, bro! I got 'em at a hut! I didn't even have to pay for 'em; I waited for 15 minutes to see if anybody worked there, and when nobody showed up, I just took 'em! Then I waded around in the fountain [and] gathered enough quarters to play ''VideoGame/{{Mortal Kombat|1992}}'' at the arcade until my fingers bled. Sounds like a full day, right? Wrong! Because then, I swooped over to Lids and copped ''[dons a fur-trimmed white fedora]'' this sweet hat, did a pitstop at Auntie Anne's ''[holds up a large pretzel]'' for a month's worth of carbs, and look, I know [[TheInternetIsForPorn you can get pornography at the tip of your fingers]], [[BlahBlahBlah blah-blah-blah-blah]], but you can also pop into Spencer's Gifts, drop by the poster rack, and have a whole-ass relationship with a picture of a bikini-clad model sprawled out on the hood of a Porsche! That's living!"''

->''"Malls, the Amazon.com of TheEighties. Have you been to a mall recently, kids? No? Well, guess what? You're missing out! Gen Z, get off Website/TikTok and go to the mall; in malls, you make your own algorithm, man! Check these out! ''[dons a pair of sunglasses]'' Did I get these at a store? No, bro! I got 'em at a hut! I didn't even have to pay for 'em; I waited for 15 minutes to see if anybody worked there, and when nobody showed up, I just took 'em! Then I waded around in the fountain [and] gathered enough quarters to play ''VideoGame/{{Mortal Kombat|1992}}'' at the arcade until my fingers bled. Sounds like a full day, right? Wrong! Because then, I swooped over to Lids and copped ''[dons a fur-trimmed white fedora]'' this sweet hat, did a pitstop at Auntie Anne's ''[holds up a large pretzel]'' for a month's worth of carbs, and look, I know [[TheInternetIsForPorn you can get pornography at the tip of your fingers]], [[BlahBlahBlah blah-blah-blah-blah]], but you can also pop into Spencer's Gifts, drop by the poster rack, and and have a whole-ass relationship with a picture of a bikini-clad model sprawled out on the hood of a Porsche! That's living!"''

->''"Malls, the Amazon.com of TheEighties. Have you been to a mall recently, kids? No? Well, guess what? You're missing out! Gen Z, get off Website/TikTok and go to the mall; in malls, you make your own algorithm, man! Check these out! ''[dons a pair of sunglasses]'' Did I get these at a store? No, bro! I got 'em at a hut! I didn't even have to pay for 'em; I waited for 15 minutes to see if anybody worked there, and when nobody showed up, I just took 'em! Then I waded around in the fountain [and] gathered enough quarters to play ''VideoGame/{{Mortal Kombat|1992}}'' at the arcade until my fingers bled. Sounds like a full day, right? Wrong! Because then, I swooped over to Lids and copped''[dons a fur-trimmed white fedora]'' this sweet hat, did a pitstop at Auntie Anne's ''[holds up a large pretzel]'' for a month's worth of carbs, and look, I know [[TheInternetIsForPorn you can get pornography at the tip of your fingers]], [[BlahBlahBlah blah-blah-blah-blah]], but you can also pop into Spencer's Gifts, drop by the poster rack, and and have a whole-ass relationship with a picture of a bikini-clad model sprawled out on the hood of a Porsche! That's living!"''