Quotes / Stop Being Stereotypical

Live-action TV

Vampires donít sleep in coffins. Itís a misconception made popular by hack writers and ignorant media. In fact, you know, we can and do move around during the day! As long as we avoid direct sunlight! GOT IT?!
Angel, "Parting Gifts"

I really need to apologize to you about Ronnie. He makes us all look bad. He's just not who we are anymore. I mean, we pay taxes, we're good neighbors. Old Ronnie, he just... he can't quite seem to grasp the concept of... low profile. But though he may be a moron, he is one of our own.
Sheriff Hartwell, The X-Files, "Bad Blood". He's talking about a vampire going around killing people like a horror movie villain.

Stand-up Comedy

When I was in high school, some kids were passing around fliers for the Asian Student Alliance and asked if I wanted to join, and I was like, 'Eh, I'm Asian enough. *nervous laughter* Did it HAVE to be on YELLOW PAPER?! Oh my God, you guys!'

Hey, I love Flavor. Lovin' him for 20 years. I love the Flavor of Love show; I think it's quite entertaining. But Flavor Flav must be killed. In order for black people to truly reach the promised land, Flavor Flav has to be shot. These are important times! We got a black man runnin' for President! We don't need a nigga runnin' around with a fuckin' clock around his neck and a Viking hat on his head! 'Not this year, Flav, PUT A SUIT ON!'
Chris Rock, Kill the Messenger


Michael: What's more boring than a queen doing a Judy Garland imitation?
Donald: A queen doing a Bette Davis imitation.

Video Games

Oh dear, who authorized this? A giant horned skull? Really? I'm sorry, I thought this was 2008.
Satan, Sam & Max: Freelance Police, "What's New, Beelzebub?"

YEEE-HA! (I tell ya, I don't normally 'yee-ha', but this is a fuckin' 'yee-ha.')
Blake Dexter, ''Hitman: Absolution

Web Animation

Here's me living for the day the mainstream media understands that video games aren't just mindless violence for twelve-year-old future Unabombers — and Mortal Kombat isn't helping my case. It's like a sitcom moment wherein Character X defends the intelligence of Character Y, while in the background Character Y is busy snorting Drano off the back of an enraged lioness.

Web Original

Let's talk about Jubilee. Not only did they make the Chinese mutant the worst one, when they sat down to think up her abilities, they came up with 'make fireworks.' That's not a super power. That's more like the actual occupation of millions of Chinese kids. It's not as bad as giving her laundry powers or the ability to squirt oyster sauce, but it's still one of answers on a racist Family Feud board, "Things Chinese People Do".

I also confess that, when I forced myself to read three-quarters of Atlas Shrugged, I swallowed the idea that itís a pro-capitalist book. It isnít...Capitalism itself is actually not championed, not really-existing-capitalism anyway, as Rand clearly doesnít understand capitalism well enough to praise its actual workings. She uses capitalism as a fetish object standing for her own cold, cruel, deeply immature impulses about domination.

Well, itís official. Bette Midler is my tia who tells my cousins to pull down their skirts and stop running around looking like prostitutas...Bette is right about Ariana Grande. Ariana looks like sheís 12 and sheís always done up like a toddler Lola Bunny, so when she starts bringing the sex, I donít know whether to laugh or scream for the authorities.
Michael K., "Bette's Protip to Arianna Grande"

Here's Mike Francesa, who is a human bag of shit, ranting about athletes taking paternity leave...He's the man carrying the torch for every dated New Yorker stereotype you've ever loathed. He is the tri-state area's worst ambassador. The villain in a Spike Lee film incarnate. Fuck him.
Drew Magary, "Mike Francesa Is Just The Worst"

Yes, hockey is still quite a big deal up here. You should really give it a chance sometime. It's fast paced and hard-hitting and oh fuck it... I can't do it any more. Hockey sucks. We admit it.

I'm not kidding. This past season I watched almost no hockey, and it was great. You know what's better than watching hockey for three hours? Fucking anything.

Real Life

I can't bear professional Scotsmen.
— Scottish actor Alastair Sim on turning down the lead role in Whiskey Galore! (1949)