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To quote Dr. Merlin, anyone who says "She's so pretty that it's like a disability because everyone hates her or wants to have sex with her" will be summarily keelhauled.
Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die!
— Frank Zappa, "Beauty Knows No Pain"
Damn this beautiful face of mine! Damn it to hell!
— Mr. Garrison, being chased by attracted girls due to his surgically-altered face, South Park
My mother used to tell me that being beautiful was only useful to whores. Perhaps she was right.
— Nicci, Confessor
Thank God I'm pretty Every skill I ever have will be in question Every ill that I must suffer merely brought on by myself Though the cops would come for someone else I'm blessed — Emilie Autumn, Thank God I'm Pretty
As he flies to Psyche's room at night, he turns himself invisible so no one can see him fly in through her window. He takes pity on her, for she was born too beautiful for her own safety.
— Eros and Psyche, Mythology
"She was beautiful . . . But she hated it because it meant she was forever being hounded by men collecting pubic scalps. Coming on butch was no help; it was that much more of a challenge to men and started the ki-ki types after her as well. Without makeup, perfume, or jewelry, in a deliberately unflattering brown coat and drab shoes, she still felt like a pot of honey surrounded by noisy flies. Poised to unzip if she so much as smiled."
— John Brunner, The Sheep Look Up
Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. [...] WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.
— Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, My Immortal
Women are the oppressed ones and it's even harder being a beautiful woman. Everyone assumes I don't try in bed. It's discrimination!
— Jenna Maroney, 30 Rock
I'm afraid there's nothing that can be done about that. Blame my birth, or your womanhood.
— Lancer, Fate Zero
My crime? It is a serious one - you see, I am too handsome to look upon.
— Gannayev, Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer
May she be granted beauty and yet not Beauty to make a stranger's eye distraught, Or hers before a looking-glass, for such, Being made beautiful overmuch, Consider beauty a sufficient end, Lose natural kindness and maybe The heart-revealing intimacy That chooses right, and never find a friend. —William Butler Yeats, "A Prayer for my Daughter"
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