Quotes / Slasher Movie

By sword, by pick, by axe, bye bye!
— Tagline of The Mutilator

Kevin: Mom, we're in a hurry! We're gonna go bowling with Anthony.
Eddie: And then to the movies!
Mom: What movie?
Eddie: Garden Tool Massacre. It's your basic slice-and-dice.
Mom: Your basic what?
Eddie: Well, this guy in a hockey mask, he chops up a few teenagers.
(Later)
Guy in theater: Watch this. He's gonna get the camp counselor with the hedge trimmer.
(Screams and ripping of flesh)
Guy in theater: I'll bet the girl gets away. Watch. She's gonna run in the lodge and hide. But he's gonna get her anyway!

Movie Character: Jamie! Jamie! C'mon, this isn't funny anymore! It's cold and I'm only wearing a very thin old t-shirt and tiny little panties!
Rallo: Don't go out there you hot dummy!
(Girl is killed by a Captain Ersatz of Jason Voorhees)
The Cleveland Show ("Beer Walk!")

"I have a soft spot for the slasher movie. Not that they are ever anything above god-awful. I mean, calling Friday the 13th "art" is like calling a face full of crusted shit "cosmetic surgery". But I like them because there is something very essentially cathartic about watching a bunch of complete twats getting completely twatted. When the parade of out-of-work actors in their mid-to-late twenties pretending to be carefree teenagers with unfeasibly easy access to expensive holiday real estate seem to find no end in amusement in jumping out at each other ten million times across the first hour as the soundtrack shrieks like Sharon Stone just recrossed her legs in front of the violinists, Jason Voorhees is acting out the growing desire of the audience as he starts slitting them up like Christmas presents with good dentistry.

Until Dawn is an interactive story of the David Cage school pushed through the filter of slasher movie with the promise being that if we make all the right decisions, perhaps we could keep all the out-of-work twenty-something actors alive. I don't think you were paying attention, Until Dawn. I will have made the right decisions if every single one of these gurgleberks ends up upholstering the soft furnishings in Leatherface's man cave."

"It's Halloween, it's Prom Night, there's a psycho on the loose so don't open the door, don't answer the phone, don't look in the attic, don't go to the bathroom, don't go into the ocean and don't go into space 'cos no one can hear you scream!"
Wacko (1983)

"All people want to see nowadays is men running around in ski masks, hacking up young virgins."
Peter Vincent, Fright Night (1985)

Announcer: He was just the boy next door.
Old Man: Why, hello there, Danny! I didn't know it was hockey season.
Danny: Hey, can I borrow a knife?
Announcer: A deadly curse. A deranged killer. A small town in tears. Knife After Dark! Rated "R" for "Retarded".
Radio advertisement in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City


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