Quotes / Separated by a Common Language

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.
George Bernard Shaw note 

They say that Britain and America are two countries separated by the Atlantic Ocean. And it's true!

Firebolt: Ms. Rowling, after the first book, you stopped converting English words to American words. Is there any reason for this?
J. K. Rowling: Actually, we didn't stop, but the number of words that were changed has been greatly exaggerated! We only ever changed a word when it had a different meaning in “American,” for instance, the word “jumper,” which in England means “sweater” and here, I believe, is something that only little girls wear!
AOL interview with J. K. Rowling October 19, 2000

In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages without trying to invent slang, so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons and American for conversation.
Stephen Leacock

The Americans are identical to the British in all respects except, of course, language.
Oscar Wilde

The American language differs from the English in that it seeks the top of expression while English seeks its lowly valleys.
Salvador de Madariaga, Americans are Boys

One of the strongest prejudices that one has to overcome when one visits Australia is that created by the weird jargon than passes for English in this country
Valerie Desmond

(Niles has been sneezing)
Fran Fine: Niles! Are you okay?
Niles: Oh, I'm afraid I'm feeling a bit queer.
Niles: Ill, Miss Fine, I'm beginning to feel a bit ill.
Fran: Oh, you British. You look like us, you act like us, but bottom line: you're foreigners.
The Nanny, "The Nuchshlep"

"The complexities of the English Language are such that even native speakers cannot always communicate effectively, as almost every American learns on his first day in Britain. Indeed, Robert Burchfield, editor of the Oxford English Dictionary, created a stir in linguistic circles on both sides of the Atlantic when he announced his belief that American English and English English are drifting apart so rapidly that within 200 years the two nations won't be able to understand each other at all."
Bill Bryson's The Mother Tounge: English and How it Got That Way, page 12. Published in 1990. Burchfield made this claim in the late 1970's. As stated on the main page, the rise of the Internet allowing us to talk to each other and read each others writing makes that a very interesting look back.

Englishman: Pack of fags?
Randal: You're a fag!
Englishman: It's a "cigarette", mate.
Randal: I'm not your mate, fag!

"For there is a certain matter never spoken of in polite society, and yet known to all, which will, if we ignore it—pretending that it does not exist—turn what should be a pleasant social occasion into an insufferable ordeal. You do know—or as you would say, ‘ken’—what I speak of, my lord?”

“Crivvens!” exclaimed Lord Gy. “Wha hae foostit ben the heid-hoose!?” Then he added, with unmistakable sarcasm: “Serr’s, a coud gae through the fluir.”

“Brilliant, that is a paradigmatic specimen,” said Throwley. “It is this, my lord: you do not speak English.”

(*offended noise*) "English pudding! You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it."
Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, "The Clean Room Infiltration"

There even are places where English completely disappears.
In America, they haven't used it for years!
Professor Henry Higgins, My Fair Lady

Yes, we will want simultaneous translators. […] Uh, no, not when the P.M. meets the leaders of the English-speaking nations. […] Yes, the English-speaking nations can be said to include the United States. (With a certain generosity of spirit.)
Bernard Woolley, Yes, Prime Minister – on the telephone, trying to organise a state funeral for his boss’ predecessor.

We’ve spent an hour discussing and reading about it and we still don’t know what exactly “pudding” means to British people. The explanations on this post all basically seem to amount to “nobody knows.”
— This Tumblr post.

Porpentina Goldstein: You wiped his memory, right? The No-Maj.
Newt Scamander: The what?
Porpentina Goldstein: No magic. The non-wizard!
Newt Scamander: Sorry. We call them Muggles.

The Gilbert and Sullivan operas have been translated into many languages, including American and Australian....
Martyn Green

Klaus: Elsa was my first love. We met in university.
Roger: You mean you met in college. You're in the States now. Say it the right way.
Klaus: So Elsa and I met AT. UNIVERSITY.
American Dad!, "My Affair Lady"