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That's like humanity's hat: Fucking things and being fertile with them. We may be average and boring at everything else, but we are motherfucking masters at the dance of sperm and egg. When you hear "half-x," you know the other half is human.

When they resort to violence, it means you win. And winning an argument is totally better than ever being able to walk again.

Ah, lead piping seventh graders. You warm the most recessed cockles of my cold black heart, sirrah.

How can I choose between two ice creams? It is like choosing between two suns.

Well, big brains and manipulator appendages of some sort. But that's generally not enough to start the sexy party.
On whether aliens will be enough like us to permit Boldly Coming

If Jack Harkness doesn't have a reason to smile in an alien swingers bar, I think something's gone terribly wrong.

Which is a case study about the dangers of inbreeding for weird shit. Pugs have breathing issues, Uchiha go evil.

Generations of ninjas journey into the depths of the Forest of Death to seek his counsel, bearing back nuggets of wisdom such as "Fuck off, " "You realize I live out here so I don't have to deal with people like you, right?" and "You need legs to walk back and a mouth to tell people to leave me the fuck alone, I mean it. Everything else is negotiable. The sooner you turn around, the less you lose."

Chrisham 2, there comes a point in every human's life where they have to man and/or woman up and admit that they themselves are at fault for not shooting a child.

"For you, the day a skyscraper sized metal warrior emerged untouched from battle with a titanic alien monster was the most awe-inspiring event of your life. For us, it was a better-than-average Saturday night."

Ooh, I can finally get that quote page up. Uncharted realms of narcissism await!

Well fuck you, probe. I guess if they aren't whales, you just don't give a shit about animals, huh?

Godspeed, you capslocked deviant.

You know Homestucks. The breaks make us crazy, and the updates make us worse.

Shirow Shirow: You could, like, build an actual melee weapon instead of dragging along the disembodied mutant limb of a long-dead opponent.
rikalous: The [Ugly] Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with.

The first time I tried one of those expensive wines my first reaction was "This tastes just like Kos's suffering!"

R2-D2 could be a sex bot under the right circumstances. You know the little whistler's a secret freak.

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