Quotes / Princeling Rivalry

Prince Edmund: Twelve months of chasing sheep and straightening the royal portraits, and now this! ^note  Edmund's brother Harry has put him in charge of organizing the entertainment for St. Leonard's Day The bastard. The BASTARD!
Baldrick: (entering from offstage) If only he were, My Lord.
Edmund: What?!
Edmund: If only he were a bastard, My Lord, then you would be Regent now.
Edmund: Ah, yes. And then, one day...
Lord Percy: (also entering) You would be King, My Lord.
Edmund: Ah, yes, yes! I would be King! And then what?
Percy and Baldrick: You'd rule the world, My Lord!
Edmund: Precisely! It's just not fair, you know. Every other woman in the court has bastard sons, but not my mother, oh no. She's so damn pure, she daren't look down, in case she notices her own breasts.

—The Black Adder, Born To Be King