No one has thought to write a national anthem for our great nation of Chronopolis, so here is something to start you off. Kaaang, Kang-Kang-Kang-Kang-Kang Kaaaaang, Kang-Kaaaaang!
Citizens of Chronopolis are reminded not to wantonly deface public property. Specifically, stop putting those weird top hats on top of things!
A reminder that one lucky citizen can win themselves a tour of my Citadel by finding the elusive Golden Ticket hidden inside the wrapper of a regular, delicious Kang bar! As an added bonus, you will then be enlisted in Kang’s army for the rest of your existence, absolutely free!
Any citizens having trouble dealing with their recent time-displacement should contact their nearest Kang Councillor, or “Kang-silor”. He may only be a cardboard cut-out, but I assure you he’s a great listener.
If your home was lost or sliced in half during the formation of my glorious world, the why not consider signing up to Kang’s army, where every recruit gets a bed in our comfy barracks! Bring your own towel.
Do you have a problem with constant Kree invasions? Then why not sign up for a crash course in the ancient martial art of Kang-Fu, held at your local Kang-munity Centre!
I’ve noticed a number of people complaining that the roads in Chronopolis are a bit of a mess, yet no one seems to mention all the centuries-old pyramids I brought over in one piece. Just saying...
Kang here, with another Kang-nouncement. All citizens are to report any sightings of the Avengers to their nearest Kang police officer. Or at the very least throw something heavy at them.
—Kang’s various ‘Kang-nouncements’.
