Once at a dinner party, I listened to an Indian (from India, not Arizona) telling funny stories about his mother. I listened with interest for he looked thoroughly Indian, and finally I could no longer resist. I asked in mock amazement, "Is your mother Jewish?"
He looked at me quite calmly and said, "My friend, all mothers are Jewish."
He looked at me quite calmly and said, "My friend, all mothers are Jewish."
Mrs. Wolowitz: Your wife says you have something important to tell me.
Howard: Okay. Here it is: Bernadette and I are starting a life together, and—
Mrs. Wolowitz: Oh, god! You are gonna leave me!
Howard: Ma...
Mrs. Wolowitz: It's okay. Your father left me, you left me. I guess I'm just the kind of person people like to leave!
Howard: It's not... definite. I'll talk to Bernadette.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Don't bother! I'll just go sit in a hole in the ground so I'm no trouble when I die.
"My friend Dave is gay, and he's gettin' married, and his mom's upset that the guy's not Jewish. [chuckling] Some people just have a line in the sand. I saw her at the rehearsal dinner. Man, she was drunk. [slurs] 'Well, I guess it's too much to ask that the bride be circumcised!'"
— Comedian Adam Ferrara, Just for Laughs festival.
