Quotes / Incest Is Relative

If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.

—Unknown source

NO! My wife! And my daughter! And my son! And my other son who is an evil guy! And his girlfriend! And a girl from the bus! All sexing together!

— Soichiro, Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami

Mrs. Mulwray: She's my sister.
Slap!
Mrs. Mulwray: She's my daughter.
Slap!
Mrs. Mulwray: My sister, my daughter.
Slap! Slap!
Gittes: I said I want the truth!
Mrs. Mulwray: She's my sister and my daughter!

— Chinatown

The inbreeding takes up all of our time!

— Patrice from 13 explaining why her hometown sucks.

Mayor Quimby: If anyone asks, you're my niece from out of town.
Girl in bikini: But I am your niece, Uncle Joe!
Mayor Quimby: Good Lord… I'm an abomination!

— The Simpsons

Is she your daughter or your estranged ex who lost a lot of weight?

— The Nostalgia Chick on an uncomfortable subplot in The Baby-Sitters Club

Yankee: Where did you meet your wife?
Redneck: At the family reunion! She was leanin' 'ginst the Ferris Wheel, makin' it teelt!

—Traditional redneck joke

Now, not all Giovanni are incestuous - that would have withered the family to invalids and vegetables long ago. But many Giovanni find themselves craving the comforts of their fellows: sisters have borne their brothers' children, uncles have spawned new lines of the family with their nieces, and mothers have doted unhealthfully on their little boys. In fact, putting aside the social impropriety of the whole fucking mess, most Giovanni afford a perverse status to those who don't stray from the family lines. You'll hear much talk of "single-blooded" Giovanni and their supposed superiority over the "double-blooded." In fact, that's why I agreed to sire you - you are the child of your mother and her father, and that makes you single-blooded and thus a favored member of the family, much to my own esteem.

—Vampire: The Masquerade - Clanbook: Giovanni (Revised)

You must never have sexual relations with a close relative, for I am the Lord your God.

— Leviticus 18:06 (NLT translation), spoken to people over 2000 years ago

You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn, you just fuck your uncle all day long.

—Philip, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

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