"This game has been a work of fiction. Any similarities to any marsupials, talking masks, dingo-alligator hybrids or evil science guys with weirdly shaped heads, living or dead, is purely coincidental. You should not have played this game if you suffer from Wumpa allergy, Crash Rash, fear of alternate dimensions, fear of moving platforms, fear of still platforms, fear of sequels, fear of squishy noises, fear of bouncy noises, fear of super science, fear of collecting things, fear of 90's nostalgia, inability to comprehend time paradoxes, inability to forgive those who have wronged you, inability to pick a restaurant when someone asks you what you're hungry for, inability to remember where you parked, or a delicate tummy. For more information on bandicoots and their diet, habitat, mating habits, birthday wishlists and shoe sizes, visit your local library or ask your grandma. I don't know if she has any prior experience with bandicoots, but she's very wise and I'm sure she'd love to hear from you. The makers of this game do not, in any way, endorse eating at Dingodile's Diner, which has been known to cause transdimensional discharge, intestinal rifts, Wumpa Whooping Cough, parasitic slime boils, random teleportation into darker timelines, and uncontrollable mewing like a little kitty cat during important business meetings. (deeply inhales) Any unauthorized exhibition, distribution or duplication of this game will result in very hurt feelings. And why would you want to hurt our feelings? We've always said really nice things about you. We even said your new haircut looked great even though it was kind of a weird length for you. Guests of Crash Bandicoot stay at N. Sane Beach Suites, which is just a log with some moss on it. The moss is really soft though, so you should be able to get a good night's sleep. What are you, too good to sleep on a log? Sorry, your majesty, I suppose you want a continental breakfast instead of a handful of ants that make their nest under the tree. Jeez Louise, there's no pleasing some people! (hyperventilating) Can you give me a minute? (deeply inhales) OK, I'm ready to go again! The events of this game are absolutely 100% canonical, unless you didn't like them. In that case, it was all a dream."
— End Credits Disclaimer
