Quotes: Bill Clinton

Quotes from Clinton:

"Posterity is the world to come; the world for whom we hold our ideals, from whom we have borrowed our planet, and to whom we bear sacred responsibility. We must do what America does best: offer more opportunity to all and demand responsibility from all."
First Inaugural Address, January 20, 1993

"Our rich texture of racial, religious and political diversity will be a Godsend in the 21st century. Great rewards will come to those who can live together, learn together, work together, forge new ties that bind together."
Second Inaugural Address, January 20, 1997

"Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow."
— Speech at the University of North Carolina's 200th Anniversary

"...Osama bin Laden hes a very smart guy, Ive spent a lot of time thinking about him. And I nearly got him once. I nearly got him. And I could've killed him, but I would have to destroy a little town called Kandahar in Afghanistan and kill 300 innocent women and children. And then I would have been no better than him. And so I didnt do it."

"Strength and wisdom are not opposing values."
— At the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston, MA, July 26, 2004

"It turns out that advancing equal opportunity and economic empowerment is both morally right and good economics. Why? Because poverty, discrimination, and ignorance restrict growth. When you stifle human potential, when you don't invest in new ideas, it doesn't just cut off the people who are affected. It hurts us all.

We know that investments in education and infrastructure and scientific and technological research increase growth. They increase good jobs, and they create new wealth for all the rest of us."
— At the 2012 Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, NC, September 5, 2012


"He's Jimmy Carter with a Fox attitude!"
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, "Weekend at Burnsie's"

"For the most urgent matters, this Clinton man is a formidable enemy. He might be a stronger enemy than King Darius."
Alexander the Great, Fate/Zero

Max: Come on, you should know this. Clinton was the fun one, then came the boring one.
Terry: They're all boring.

Lois: (in bed with Clinton) Peter! Look, I know this looks bad, and I feel horrible, and-and I know nothing I could say to you could possibly justify why I slept with Bill, except...I mean, Peter, the man presided over the longest economic expansion in U.S. History and...he reduced the percentage of Americans on welfare to its lowest level in 33 years!
Clinton: 35 years.
Lois: 35 years, Peter!

Quotes about Clinton:

"A man might 'forget' where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush

"I was reading newspapers at the time and it is true that Roosevelt was attacked for his Communist-Fascist policies, but no hookers were ever given prime time on television (even if it had been invented then) to discuss his cock."

"Years ago, in the middle of the Whitewater investigation, one heard the first murmurs: white skin notwithstanding, this is our first black President."
Toni Morrisson

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little nave, I feel!

"Let's not do the '90s again — except for the part where we have peace and prosperity. You know, there was an entire industry back then dedicated to making Bill Clinton's life miserable over expensive haircuts and old land deals and the Lincoln Bedroom and getting blown."
Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher

"Last thing I remember was the economy was working and there was a budget surplus... Where's Clinton?"
We impeached him.
"Fuck! For what?"
A blowjob.
"Wow! Who did he blow, Putin?"
Robin Williams, Weapons of Self-Destruction

"Is THAT against the law? Do you need the Supreme Court for THAT one? You coulda took that one to The Peoples Court! Coulda took that one to Judge Judy! She'da knocked that one out in a half hour plus commercial!"
Chris Rock, Bigger and Blacker

"For a moment, it appears that Nixonian politic fades...For a flickering moment, we lose sight of our own history. For a moment, it feels possible to ignore Watchmen, to ignore Dirty Harry, to ignore looming nuclear armageddon. A saxophone may yet lead us from darkness, but it was not to be. The radiant light of the information age turned dark in only a decade. The ensuing darkness lasted eight years."