"First, distract target. Then block his blind jab. Counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate. Dazed, he'll attempt wild haymaker: employ elbow block, and body shot. Block feral left. Weaken right jaw. Now fracture. Break cracked ribs. Traumatise solar plexus. Dislocate jaw entirely. Heel kick to diaphragm. In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm haemorrhaging. Physical recovery, six weeks; full psychological recovery, six months. Capacity to spit at back of head: neutralised."
Holmes: You’re not a soldier. You are a doctor.
Watson: No, an Army doctor, which means I could break every bone in your body, while naming them.
Watson: No, an Army doctor, which means I could break every bone in your body, while naming them.
— Sherlock, "The Abominable Bride"
So, the biggest, most important fight of my life walks away and sends in the world's strongest Bookworm!
— Mr. Perfect Cell talking about Gohan, Dragon Ball Z Abridged
Drogan: I am Drogan, and you are?
Titus: Captain Titus of the Ultramarines. We received your distress call, but you seem to have weathered the enemy assault.
Drogan: I am soldier and scientist both, Captain.
Titus: Captain Titus of the Ultramarines. We received your distress call, but you seem to have weathered the enemy assault.
Drogan: I am soldier and scientist both, Captain.
Introduction: Ah, you timed your arrival well. I've just finished reading a book, you see. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lucian. I am a user of the Psychic type. I must say, you've already proven yourself to be outstanding by coming this far. They say I am the toughest of the Elite Four. I'm afraid I will have to go all out against you to live up to that reputation.
After being defeated: I'll be reading books until the next challenger arrives. That will calm my nerves, so that I may deal with all situations without panicking.
After being defeated: I'll be reading books until the next challenger arrives. That will calm my nerves, so that I may deal with all situations without panicking.
— Lucian, Pokémon Diamond and Pearl
Can your government employees do this?
— The Ninja Warrior announcer, as government worker Bunpei Shiratori climbs a narrow ledge by his fingertips
[Yinsen] has a Ph.D in killing you!
Let's face it, not everyone is cut out to be me. I'm a physics-crunching badass. I'm the complete package.
— Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind: Episode 10
I graduated MIT! My diploma is worth more than your life!
— Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind: Episode 23
I'm a scientist with a shotgun. I'm unstoppable!
— Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind: Episode 64
Gordon Freeman saved my life!
Fight for freedom with a brain storm
Gordon Freeman saved my life!
Like Chuck Norris in a geek form.
Completely silent, a violent creature
Despite looking like a geography teacher
Fight for freedom with a brain storm
Gordon Freeman saved my life!
Like Chuck Norris in a geek form.
Completely silent, a violent creature
Despite looking like a geography teacher
We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice; using in defence arms and policy; cherishing religion, learning, and art in the midst of adversity and danger; welding together a nation, and seeking always across the feuds and hatreds of the age a peace which would smile upon the land.
— Description of Alfred the Great, History of the English-Speaking Peoples by Winston Churchill.
He's like the band geek you made fun of in high school... until you found out he's an expert in some obscure martial art form.
— Captain Qwark on Clank, Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One
Megatron: Not bad for a librarian! Perhaps you should have spent more time in the pits!
Optimus Prime: And perhaps you should have spent more time in the library.
Optimus Prime: And perhaps you should have spent more time in the library.
Maturin: You have the makings of a naturalist.
Midshipman: Perhaps I can be a sort of fighting naturalist like you, sir.
Maturin: They don't combine too well, I find.
Midshipman: Perhaps I can be a sort of fighting naturalist like you, sir.
Maturin: They don't combine too well, I find.
Joachim studied Axel for a moment. There was something owl-like about the examination. Scholarly, yes - but owls are also predators.
— 1633
"Let me give you one piece of advice. Take it for what you will. Piss off terrorists, piss off mobsters, piss off your president if you wish. But never ever piss off a microbiologist."
— Dr. Arensky, after killing his guard with some home-brew biological warfare, Unto the Breach
Shinji: I presume then that you want me to help you with your written Japanese.
Asuka: If you could. I can help you with your homework, I took most of it already when I was in college.
Shinji: (squeaking because she's thirteen) You went to college?
Asuka: Yeah, I graduated last year.
Shinji: Do you want to lose your virginity tonight? Because I am so turned on right now. Brains, beauty, and a degree in what I must presume is ass kicking, what more could a guy want?
Asuka: If you could. I can help you with your homework, I took most of it already when I was in college.
Shinji: (squeaking because she's thirteen) You went to college?
Asuka: Yeah, I graduated last year.
Shinji: Do you want to lose your virginity tonight? Because I am so turned on right now. Brains, beauty, and a degree in what I must presume is ass kicking, what more could a guy want?
I was a scientific advisor attached to the military, except when I was a soldier sent on a scientific mission.
— Jim McCarthy, The War Against the Chtorr.
That's my bread and butter you're fucking with.
— Dethklok financial officer Charles Offdensen, Metalocalypse
My eleventh PhD is in Applied Ass-Kicking!
— The Engineer, Team Fortress 2
I've found the winning formula!
—Sento Kiryu, Kamen Rider Build
That's the trouble with monsters. No theoretical vigor. No one ever made you iron out your fundamentals, did they? If they had, you certainly wouldn't fall for this... [pause for more asskicking] Fergus' Spectral Armory! Like it? Do you? Very basic principles. Second Year stuff! But then you never bothered with school, did you, Martin? You wouldn't have lasted an hour at Brakebills!
—Alice, The Magicians
Vikenti: No. I'm not a warrior. I'm just a librarian. I only catalogue the legends of warriors and such.
Morena: And yet, you still pushed on. Your profession may be different, but the fire of a warrior surged through your veins.
Morena: And yet, you still pushed on. Your profession may be different, but the fire of a warrior surged through your veins.
Bogs: Now, I'm gonna open my fly and you're gonna swallow what I give ya to swallow. And after you swallow mine you're gonna swallow Rooster's, cause ya done broke his nose and I think he oughta have something to show for it.
Andy: Anything you put in my mouth you're gonna lose.
Bogs: Naw, you don't understand. You do that and I'll put all eight inches of steel in your ear.
Andy: All right. But you should know that sudden serious brain injury causes the victim to bite down hard. In fact, I hear the bite reflex is so strong they have to pry the victim's jaws open with a crowbar.
Bogs: [unnerved] Where do you get this shit?
Andy: I read it. You know how to read, you ignorant fuck?
Andy: Anything you put in my mouth you're gonna lose.
Bogs: Naw, you don't understand. You do that and I'll put all eight inches of steel in your ear.
Andy: All right. But you should know that sudden serious brain injury causes the victim to bite down hard. In fact, I hear the bite reflex is so strong they have to pry the victim's jaws open with a crowbar.
Bogs: [unnerved] Where do you get this shit?
Andy: I read it. You know how to read, you ignorant fuck?
"Next we need a bookworm adventurer who can say "brains" and "guts" in twenty-seven languages."
— Stargate SG-1, "200"
You know what the most dangerous thing in America is, right? Nigga with a library card.
— Brother Mouzone, The Wire
