Quotes / Badass Santa

"Santa's Comin' And he's gonna kick your ass
He's gonna kick your ass
He's gonna kick your ass
Santa's comin' and he's gonna kick your ass
Because you've always been a rotten little brat"
The Arrogant Worms, "Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass", Christmas Turkey CD

"Santa's got a brand new bag... OF PAIN!"
Santa, The Angry Video Game Nerd and Captain S Team Up

He plays bass with Aerosmith / Reads to sick orphans too
he goes surfing in space / and makes really good fondue
He shoots lasers from his eyes / and knits curtains for free
He'll fight monsters for fun / and hang out with Mr. T

"So apparently, Santa is an international group of muscular secret agents skilled in the art of Parkour who have dedicated one day of the year to deliver presents throughout the globe?"
— Anonymous person watching this

"Ho ho ho! I'm here to chew candy canes and kick ass, and I'm all out of candy canes!"