Quotes / Badass Bookworm

"First, distract target. Then block his blind jab. Counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate. Dazed, he'll attempt wild haymaker: employ elbow block, and body shot. Block feral left. Weaken right jaw. Now fracture. Break cracked ribs. Traumatise solar plexus. Dislocate jaw entirely. Heel kick to diaphragm. In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm haemorrhaging. Physical recovery, six weeks; full psychological recovery, six months. Capacity to spit at back of head: neutralised."

Holmes: You’re not a soldier. You are a doctor.
Watson: No, an Army doctor, which means I could break every bone in your body, while naming them.
Sherlock, "The Abominable Bride"

Drogan: "I am Drogan, and you are?"
Drogan: "I am soldier and scientist both, Captain."

Introduction: "Ah, you timed your arrival well. I've just finished reading a book, you see. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lucian. I am a user of the Psychic type. I must say, you've already proven yourself to be outstanding by coming this far. They say I am the toughest of the Elite Four. I'm afraid I will have to go all out against you to live up to that reputation."
After being defeated: "I'll be reading books until the next challenger arrives. That will calm my nerves, so that I may deal with all situations without panicking."

Can your government employees do this?
— The Ninja Warrior announcer, as government worker Bunpei Shiratori climbs a narrow ledge by his fingertips

[Yinsen] has a Ph.D in killing you!
Mike Nelson, Iron Man Rifftrax

Let's face it, not everyone is cut out to be me. I'm a physics-crunching badass. I'm the complete package.
Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind: Episode 10

I graduated MIT! My diploma is worth more than your life!
Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind: Episode 23

I'm a scientist with a shotgun. I'm unstoppable.
Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind: Episode 64

Gordon Freeman saved my life!
Fight for freedom with a brain storm
Gordon Freeman saved my life!
Like Chuck Norris in a geek form.

Completely silent, a violent creature
Despite looking like a geography teacher

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice; using in defence arms and policy; cherishing religion, learning, and art in the midst of adversity and danger; welding together a nation, and seeking always across the feuds and hatreds of the age a peace which would smile upon the land.
— Description of Alfred The Great, History of the English-Speaking Peoples by Winston Churchill.

He's like the band geek you made fun of in high school... until you found out he's an expert in some obscure martial art form.
Captain Qwark on Clank, Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One

Megatron: Not bad for a librarian! Perhaps you should have spent more time in the pits!
Optimus Prime: And perhaps you should have spent more time in the library.

Maturin: You have the makings of a naturalist.
Midshipman: Perhaps I can be a sort of fighting naturalist like you, sir.
Maturin: They don't combine too well, I find.

Joachim studied Axel for a moment. There was something owl-like about the examination. Scholarly, yes - but owls are also predators.

"Let me give you one piece of advice. Take it for what you will. Piss off terrorists, piss off mobsters, piss off your president if you wish. But never ever piss off a microbiologist."
Dr. Arensky, after killing his guard with some home-brew biological warfare, Unto the Breach

Shinji: I presume then that you want me to help you with your written Japanese.
Asuka: If you could. I can help you with your homework, I took most of it already when I was in college.
Shinji: (squeaking because she's thirteen) You went to college?
Asuka: Yeah, I graduated last year.
Shinji: Do you want to lose your virginity tonight? Because I am so turned on right now. Brains, beauty, and a degree in what I must presume is ass kicking, what more could a guy want?

I was a scientific advisor attached to the military, except when I was a soldier sent on a scientific mission.
Jim McCarthy, The War Against the Chtorr.